Caption Competition Mk II

[Buster Hyman]

"You've got it? Then why the hell are you calling me!!!"...*click

"Ma'am?......Ma'am...."

[Webby737]

I know that with Covid-19 and Brexit we're a bit short of cash at the moment, but surely the government can afford to buy us cordless phones.

[Penny Washers]

"One does insist upon ordering from Harrods - even if Tesco does have toilet rolls."

[c52]

B (thinks): "I've always wanted to have my hands in my pockets when talking to an authority figure."

[c52]

HM: "So this herd immunity policy - it means anyone over 70 is disposable, does it? I know you don't rate knowledge and understanding, but do you know what Treason is?"

[Kiltrash]

Clicking in the background on the line....

Yes Mr President our Agent Novachock has had its delayed reaction.

[MPN11]

“No, one does NOT want to buy insurance for those final expenses!”

[Kiltrash]

Boris....Yes we are one step closer to William becoming King. You can rest easy Camilla will NEVER become Queen

[c52]

HM: "Let me recommend to you a good hairdresser - come to think of it, probably the most incompetent in the whole country could do better than that."

[Kiltrash]

No matter how many of your Ministers are incapacitated Farage will not become PM

[Kiltrash]

Please hold the line, your call is important to us. ..Music plays God Save The Queen

[MPN11]

B: “I am from Microsoft Technical Services, and I can see you have a virus on your computer.”
Q: “Good try, Prime Minister, now get back to work.”

[Kiltrash]

HMTQ....Please arrange a clear passage to Orkney, one has to protect ones Corgies

[andytug]

HMTQ "Have you been in an accident that wasn't your fault? No? Thought not!!"

[Kiltrash]

No sorry Mr Johnson, at times of National Emergency you do not inspire the country unlike Mr Churchill

[Kiltrash]

Or Mrs Thatcher!!

[Buster Hyman]

Betty: "Well call the EU for help...oh wait...good job Boris!"

[Kiltrash]

HMTQ.... Philip thanks you for clearing the roads for him, he is just popping out in the Range Rover to pick me up a copy of The Times...

[Kiltrash]

Well I am The Queen and it has my name on it so if I want to take a cruise round the Mediterranean you should make it available to me.

[lomapaseo]

mum can I drop around about noonish, I've got some wonderful news