Favourite Military Banter/Phrases
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Emeritus Canberra Navigator, on detachment, upon entering the Wardroom of what was then HMS Fulmar (now RAF Lossiemouth) spies two 15 inch brass shell cases by the door, 'Ah, starter cartridges for Ark Royal'
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Banter...
11(F) crewroom, darkest Lincolnshire...2 x JPs in discussion about seniority.
Enter Tex Jones (OCB) and IWI...in a flash Tex mutters contemptuously "comparing seniority amongst Flying Officers is like comparing lengths of turd..."
Enter Tex Jones (OCB) and IWI...in a flash Tex mutters contemptuously "comparing seniority amongst Flying Officers is like comparing lengths of turd..."
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
Fg Off Admin making dining out speech at RAF Boulmer in 1980s, which at the time hosted both CRC Boulmer (FC) and Border Radar (ATC).
"As a Flying Officer I have been told I am only allowed two words and a joke - f*ck off Border Radar".
"As a Flying Officer I have been told I am only allowed two words and a joke - f*ck off Border Radar".
Tex
Having flown with Tex on the Jaguar it was lovely to see his name pop up again...asked how the Javelin handled he said, 'rather like the Camel actually' and what was the best tactic to adopt if bounced at high level? 'Enter a steep dive, air brakes out, engine throttled right back, everything passed you in the dive,.....including rain!!!'
Anybody know where he is now?
Anybody know where he is now?
Cunning Artificer
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Banter can be dangerous when deployed in the wrong place.
The year is Nineteen Canteen. Outside the back door of Block 2, 3A Wing, Squadron Leader Sills is checking the preparations for CO's Inspection. He opens a dustbin lid and peers inside:
Aircraft Apprentice Jock "Sunderland" (you know who you are...) "Hungry Sir?"
The answer came later that same day.
Squadron Leader Sills to A/A Jock "Sunderland" (who is now on gardening duty while the rest of us are ready for the Saturday get-away.)
"... and I don't want to see a single weed in that flower bed when I return!"
Later still. Squadron Leader Sills returns.
"No more weeds left Sir!"
The garden is bare. Like a Japanese zen creation, nothing but well raked fine soil can be seen along the whole front of the building.
The year is Nineteen Canteen. Outside the back door of Block 2, 3A Wing, Squadron Leader Sills is checking the preparations for CO's Inspection. He opens a dustbin lid and peers inside:
Aircraft Apprentice Jock "Sunderland" (you know who you are...) "Hungry Sir?"
The answer came later that same day.
Squadron Leader Sills to A/A Jock "Sunderland" (who is now on gardening duty while the rest of us are ready for the Saturday get-away.)
"... and I don't want to see a single weed in that flower bed when I return!"
Later still. Squadron Leader Sills returns.
"No more weeds left Sir!"
The garden is bare. Like a Japanese zen creation, nothing but well raked fine soil can be seen along the whole front of the building.
Last edited by Blacksheep; 12th Jul 2011 at 12:39.
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The well known ex-Lightning red haired git to gynormous WRAF air trafficker resplendent in her mess kit at the Mess Ball at BZZ..
'You know, with an arse loike that, you must pack a hell of a fart!!"
'You know, with an arse loike that, you must pack a hell of a fart!!"
To which she responded "What did you say?"
His reply? "OI SAID WITH AN ARSE LOIKE THAT, YOU MUST PACK A MEAN FART!!"
He did have a point though. She (BFA) had a backside which would have embarrassed a pedigree Wessex Saddleback. Not even Falklands-pretty.......
Where is RFK these days?
His reply? "OI SAID WITH AN ARSE LOIKE THAT, YOU MUST PACK A MEAN FART!!"
He did have a point though. She (BFA) had a backside which would have embarrassed a pedigree Wessex Saddleback. Not even Falklands-pretty.......
Where is RFK these days?
Last edited by BEagle; 14th Jul 2011 at 14:11.
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I actually have a photo of aforesaid enormous arse as it protrudes out into the cockpit as the nav is explaining rhumb lines or some other sort of navigatorish bullshit to its owner... it's a bloody fearsome sight!
Did the lens survive?
I'm not sure which of these creatures-formerly-known-as-WRAFs is BFA:
It could be the one at bottom left - there's a distinct facial resemblance as well as the similarly dimensioned backside.
I'm not sure which of these creatures-formerly-known-as-WRAFs is BFA:
It could be the one at bottom left - there's a distinct facial resemblance as well as the similarly dimensioned backside.
If the rear was gargantuan, would an emission not be attenuated by distance from release to surface and the shock absorbing effect of flab in simple harmonic motion en route? Or would the flab/SHM combo act as an amplifier? Presumably the red-haired WIWOL had conducted some field trials...
One suspects that the anatomical route from orifice to atmosphere would likely result in the amplifying effect of a trumpet - ring flutter starting a standing wave vibration in the air column inside the cavity in question.
Actually, on second thoughts, more like a tuba.
I'm pretty sure that RFK had absolutely no desire to investigate the effect for himself.
Actually, on second thoughts, more like a tuba.
I'm pretty sure that RFK had absolutely no desire to investigate the effect for himself.
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Nearly as amusing as Phnom Penh Len receiving a plaque entitled 'Second Prize Decimmomanu Ploughing Championship' having taxied over the grass (a claim he hotly denied despite the muddy evidence on the stbd gear...)
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Wow, Phnom Penh Len, there's a name to conjure with.
I was the FE on the last leg of his 'heroic' flight back from Akronelli. He and other assorted crew members spent some time on the bunk showing us bits of shrapnel (no less).
When we arrived at that secret airbase, we were told by (I believe) the Protocol officer, to stay on the flight deck and let Len and his crew pose on the crew steps for the attending press.
We were deeply impressed by his heroism. Probably good for promotion though.
Ah . . . memories again.
I was the FE on the last leg of his 'heroic' flight back from Akronelli. He and other assorted crew members spent some time on the bunk showing us bits of shrapnel (no less).
When we arrived at that secret airbase, we were told by (I believe) the Protocol officer, to stay on the flight deck and let Len and his crew pose on the crew steps for the attending press.
We were deeply impressed by his heroism. Probably good for promotion though.
Ah . . . memories again.
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To which she responded "What did you say?"
His reply? "OI SAID WITH AN ARSE LOIKE THAT, YOU MUST PACK A MEAN FART!!"
His reply? "OI SAID WITH AN ARSE LOIKE THAT, YOU MUST PACK A MEAN FART!!"
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Do "Line Book" entries qualify as banter or are they simply a record of good one liners. In fact do Sqns still have line books? Do they still have a Sqn History compiled by the best cartoonist (and the last one to leave the crewroom when the Boss came in)? Are there still crewrooms?
