Favourite Military Banter/Phrases
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Re: Best banter ever?
Quite a few years ago a pair of Lynx were routing to Bremerhaven with a low cloud base and less than perfect visibility. While passing a bombing range a Luftwaffe Alpha jet passed very close and in front of Lead.
Lead to 2: 'Did you see that jet pass to the front?'
2 to Lead (cool as a cucumber): 'No. Did you see the one that went between us?'
Lead to 2: 'Did you see that jet pass to the front?'
2 to Lead (cool as a cucumber): 'No. Did you see the one that went between us?'
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Banter
Having become irked by the boredom of the threads relating to BASSA, I said I'd come over to Military for some banter. Now, a search showed that there has been some great banter on various threads, but there doesn't seem to be one specifically designated to banter.
So, let's hear it. Examples of great banter, with current types showing us oldies how the new banter is performing.
Of course, I have to kick off:
Phantom OCU crewroom, with experienced Hunter pilot stude relaxing before his next conversion trip.
Enter the USAF exchange Instructor Pilot; Academy Graduate and Vietnam vet, with three rows of medals (and to be fair, some of them for bravery.) He's in best No 1 uniform for a parade, so he is wearing all the medals, not just the ribbons.
Hunter pilot:
"Good Lord, Magnetic North!"
So, let's hear it. Examples of great banter, with current types showing us oldies how the new banter is performing.
Of course, I have to kick off:
Phantom OCU crewroom, with experienced Hunter pilot stude relaxing before his next conversion trip.
Enter the USAF exchange Instructor Pilot; Academy Graduate and Vietnam vet, with three rows of medals (and to be fair, some of them for bravery.) He's in best No 1 uniform for a parade, so he is wearing all the medals, not just the ribbons.
Hunter pilot:
"Good Lord, Magnetic North!"
If it wasn't for people like you....
VVHA!
This thread could be a laugh!
My favourite banter is a song by Dos Gringos directed at their USN counterparts concerning their feelings about setting sail aboard an aircraft carrier (iTunes will show you the way!). I would just love to have seen the faces of the USN guys when/if this was being performed live!
BV
This thread could be a laugh!
My favourite banter is a song by Dos Gringos directed at their USN counterparts concerning their feelings about setting sail aboard an aircraft carrier (iTunes will show you the way!). I would just love to have seen the faces of the USN guys when/if this was being performed live!
BV
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Just a Thought ...
NR - always up for a laugh, am I not; however, is this thread not a bit similar to "I Wish I Hadn't Said That"?
Mods - any thoughts on this?
Best regards,
EWP
Mods - any thoughts on this?
Best regards,
EWP
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Service Banter for the Chop
In a press conference today, the Secretary for Defence, Dr. Liam Fox, confirmed that Banter, as well as joviality and anything else remotely concerned with morale was being considered under the SDSR.
When quesitoned about the morale of the forces, Dr. Fox responded "the SDSR will look at the nation's defence needs and if there is anything that does not add value to the defence need then I cannot guarantee that it will not be withdrawn as part of the review."
An MoD spokesman later delivered a press release on the Defence Secretary's comments: "Banter can detract from the primary function of keeping boots on the ground and getting kit to the front line. That is all the MoD should do according to the Daily Mail, simples"
It was not made clear if banter was being considered for immediate withdrawal or if it would be realized through cuts in manpower and anything remotely useful being axed to achieve the same net effect.
Banter has been in the service since the time of Queen Elizabeth the first. The first recorded banter was when Sir Francis Drake asked his ExO what all those ships were in the English Channel. His ExO responded with "The Spaniards Sir!" and Drake replied "Bosh, Cheers Easy".
An anonymous source close to military top brass, said "Banter is being considered just like all the other sacred cows. It's a toss up between the Reds and banter and I think that Reds could pip banter to the post."
When quesitoned about the morale of the forces, Dr. Fox responded "the SDSR will look at the nation's defence needs and if there is anything that does not add value to the defence need then I cannot guarantee that it will not be withdrawn as part of the review."
An MoD spokesman later delivered a press release on the Defence Secretary's comments: "Banter can detract from the primary function of keeping boots on the ground and getting kit to the front line. That is all the MoD should do according to the Daily Mail, simples"
It was not made clear if banter was being considered for immediate withdrawal or if it would be realized through cuts in manpower and anything remotely useful being axed to achieve the same net effect.
Banter has been in the service since the time of Queen Elizabeth the first. The first recorded banter was when Sir Francis Drake asked his ExO what all those ships were in the English Channel. His ExO responded with "The Spaniards Sir!" and Drake replied "Bosh, Cheers Easy".
An anonymous source close to military top brass, said "Banter is being considered just like all the other sacred cows. It's a toss up between the Reds and banter and I think that Reds could pip banter to the post."
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Service Banter for the Chop
In a similar vein...
RAF to take capability banter 'holiday'
RAF banter to be fitted 'for' not 'with'
'Banter' to be outsourced to private sector (25 year rolling PFI - with options to upgrade to 'wit')
NB: Just picked up 'Piece of Cake' from South American river bookshop which has some great examples of fictional banter.
RAF pilots complaining about CO's eyesight problems: "Maybe we can persuade the Germans to fly over in bigger aeroplanes..."
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During '74, 43 (Phantoms) had a bolt hole to Kinloss from Leuchars. The sign above the bar carried the welcome message............................
BEWARE....LOW FLYING HANDS!
BEWARE....LOW FLYING HANDS!
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You want banter then you should be hanging out on Jet Blast.
Storminnorm wrote on Jet Blast:
And Gainsey replied:
Storminnorm wrote on Jet Blast:
I lived next door to a chap in Luton who was taken prisoner in Italy in 1944,(?).
He came originally from Dresden.
I asked him once if he ever went back there. He told me that there
was no point going back because there was no one left of his family.
He came originally from Dresden.
I asked him once if he ever went back there. He told me that there
was no point going back because there was no one left of his family.
That's just awful.
Nobody should have to live in Luton. .
Nobody should have to live in Luton. .
Black Flag day at Brawdy. Blunty Sharpe sitting in the crew room with lots of charts, coloured pens and a calculator! One of the guys playing uckers says " What you up to Blunty?" He replies "I'm making a chart to show me exactly how much fuel I need to recover to base when low level in Wales" From across the room a voice is heard to say " It's called a fuel guage Blunty!"
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Javelin Sqn crewroom, middle of the night during 1962 air defence exercise, “relaxing” at Alert 30 playing bridge when t
Dummy (facing door) surprised to see old mate “CHRIST!”.
Partner (back to door) without pausing in playing the contract “Not the J CHRISTof biblical fame, surely?).
Dummy (facing door) surprised to see old mate “CHRIST!”.
Partner (back to door) without pausing in playing the contract “Not the J CHRISTof biblical fame, surely?).
newt, I saw Blunty a few weeks ago at a barbi' and he's just as colourful a character as ever he was! He left the party in his rather tasty Ferrari...
His tales always livened up the crew room on 63(F) at Chivenor - in fact we presented him with a megaphone (traffic cone) resplendent with gunsight "For telling long range war stories" at our end-of-course party at the Thatched Barn - like the mythical Jaguar he allegedly flew, it was limited to 800KIAS / M1.3!!
His tales always livened up the crew room on 63(F) at Chivenor - in fact we presented him with a megaphone (traffic cone) resplendent with gunsight "For telling long range war stories" at our end-of-course party at the Thatched Barn - like the mythical Jaguar he allegedly flew, it was limited to 800KIAS / M1.3!!
One of Blunty's many tales involved an SOR (which is the old term for Incident Report) involving a Canberra engine fire he'd had...
"Purpose of flight - getting 3 hours for the boss's wall chart!"
The prose used in his SOR was hilarious, describing his 'heroic struggle' with his 'crippled bomber' - it was just so typical Blunty!
When he lost his eye after a nasty birdstrike in a Hawk and his ex-Vulcan student navigator kept the jet flying until Blunty was able to take over, his comments to the press were equally amusing. Here's what he wrote on the Old Wycombiensians website recently:
Modest as ever - splendid fellow!
"Purpose of flight - getting 3 hours for the boss's wall chart!"
The prose used in his SOR was hilarious, describing his 'heroic struggle' with his 'crippled bomber' - it was just so typical Blunty!
When he lost his eye after a nasty birdstrike in a Hawk and his ex-Vulcan student navigator kept the jet flying until Blunty was able to take over, his comments to the press were equally amusing. Here's what he wrote on the Old Wycombiensians website recently:
I ran X-country for the school and was in the CCF RAF section, exalted rank of Corporal, but of course Hitler was just a corporal! After Royal Grammar School, I joined the RAF as a fighter pilot and stayed for 39 years, retiring with the rank of Squadron Leader. I was awarded the AFC for gallantry in 1983 (I'm told I am on a board somewhere at RGS). I still fly & own my own aeroplane, a Cirrus SR20 GTS. I have been a magistrate for 6 years. I am writing a book entitled 'An Angel on my Wing'. Will I ever finish it? I am a minor official of Porsche Club GB and naturally own a Porsche, a 997 C2S. I am divorced (married 30 years) and have two boys. I built my own house in 1986 (in the Cotswolds). I was UK Man of the Year in 1983 I have a BSc from the OU, having spent most of my time on assignments in the middle of the Atlantic at 37000 feet or at 4 am in a hotel room in Washington DC. I am a Master Air Pilot with the Guild of Air Pilots & Navigators (GAPAN), number 760 I have travelled to over 500 countries, mainly at Her Majesty's expense.
Tabs please !
I normally hide in the shadows over here and enjoy spectating. I think I know this chap from the car club. Would the initials DS be wide of the mark ?
Some ancient history . . . .The late Flt Lt Ken Ekins was an RAAF seaplane pilot attached to the destroyer HMAS Canberra in the days of Walrii and the short swinging launch derricks. She was in port in Hobart all spick for admiral coming aboard. Himself duly being piped walking up the gangway with Canberra's captain . . .. sees a fishing rod and line poking out a porthole . . . . "God Jenkins! What the blazes going on?" "Oh sir....
that'd be one of our RAAF attachment , Ekins .. not big on naval etiquette . ... he did complain to me this morning that the fish on the breakfast menu was off."
Another dag of a former RAAF pilot was the late stammering Ch ch Chris Braund, about whom countless stories of brilliant banter and quick ripostes exist. Chris spent some of his flying life on DC-3 s out of Mascot (Sydney) He was sitting up in the wheelhouse one summer's morning waiting for door close when Catalina taxied slowly by right in front of his nose. Chris picked up his mic and quietly uttered . . . .'D..d.did you b.b.build that yourselves?"
Later when his company had F27s Chris was still on the Daks. One day after landing the tower told a Friendshgip to hold and taxy behind the DC-3 (Chris) coming along an adjoining taxiway . As Chris passed in front of the holding Frugal he said. . .. "G..good man . . .I do l..like to s.see p.power giving w.way to s.steam."
Another of Chris's was when the old phonetic alphabet had just been changed ca 1954 (?) Tower told Chris on long final to continue approach . . . couple of dogs crossing the runway. Chris comes back instantly with . . .. "D.d.d.. don't you mean t.t.ttwo deltas?"
that'd be one of our RAAF attachment , Ekins .. not big on naval etiquette . ... he did complain to me this morning that the fish on the breakfast menu was off."
Another dag of a former RAAF pilot was the late stammering Ch ch Chris Braund, about whom countless stories of brilliant banter and quick ripostes exist. Chris spent some of his flying life on DC-3 s out of Mascot (Sydney) He was sitting up in the wheelhouse one summer's morning waiting for door close when Catalina taxied slowly by right in front of his nose. Chris picked up his mic and quietly uttered . . . .'D..d.did you b.b.build that yourselves?"
Later when his company had F27s Chris was still on the Daks. One day after landing the tower told a Friendshgip to hold and taxy behind the DC-3 (Chris) coming along an adjoining taxiway . As Chris passed in front of the holding Frugal he said. . .. "G..good man . . .I do l..like to s.see p.power giving w.way to s.steam."
Another of Chris's was when the old phonetic alphabet had just been changed ca 1954 (?) Tower told Chris on long final to continue approach . . . couple of dogs crossing the runway. Chris comes back instantly with . . .. "D.d.d.. don't you mean t.t.ttwo deltas?"