Favourite Military Banter/Phrases
I have travelled to over 500 countries, mainly at Her Majesty's expense. - Blunty
Good to hear he is still larger than life!! - Newt
A bit like the number of countries he's visited apparently!
Jack
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Does dressing a fireman's rescue dummy in Foul weather clothing and hanging it by the neck in a remote building, so that 'he' is discovered by the airman doing site checks count as 'Banter'
Or was it bullying. - Can't make my mind up.
Or was it bullying. - Can't make my mind up.
Chivenor huts, many years ago. Mate hangs up reesty immersion suit to air by the window....
Enter batty with tea tray first thing, sees what appears to be Bloggs having hanged himself and drops tray in shock....
Sound of tray and contents hitting floor wakes up slumbering Bloggs, who sits up in alarm wondering WTFIGO....
Unexpected movement in room causes batty to shriek in terror and rush out of room....
Quite some early morning call!
Enter batty with tea tray first thing, sees what appears to be Bloggs having hanged himself and drops tray in shock....
Sound of tray and contents hitting floor wakes up slumbering Bloggs, who sits up in alarm wondering WTFIGO....
Unexpected movement in room causes batty to shriek in terror and rush out of room....
Quite some early morning call!
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Plt Off Syzlak manning the desk at 3 Sqn Valley about '83/84ish. CO with visiting Michael Heseltine (Def Min?) outbriefing for a VIP famil trip.
CO: Syzlak call ops and ask them the aids state
Syzlak: Yes sir (chats on phone)
CO: Well?
Syzlak: they've asked round and they say none of them have got it Sir........
CO: What?
Syzlak: fully 'S' sir
CO: Syzlak call ops and ask them the aids state
Syzlak: Yes sir (chats on phone)
CO: Well?
Syzlak: they've asked round and they say none of them have got it Sir........
CO: What?
Syzlak: fully 'S' sir
It's only a practical joke if the recipient can take it. I bet you know several people who's lives have been a misery because they have been the butt of people's jokes. There's usual one on every squadron / unit.
For most people who are on the receiving end its character building, but one or two slip through.
Not that I'm squeeky clean of course but I console myself in that I can take what I give. Besides banter is generally good for moral and most places of work are better for it.
For most people who are on the receiving end its character building, but one or two slip through.
Not that I'm squeeky clean of course but I console myself in that I can take what I give. Besides banter is generally good for moral and most places of work are better for it.
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It's only a practical joke if the recipient can take it. I bet you know several people who's lives have been a misery because they have been the butt of people's jokes. There's usual one on every squadron / unit.
Join Date: Sep 2000
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Blunty!!
Bloody Hell. I've just realised who this is!!!
I've known him for several years now, and wasn't too sure whether he was just as mad as a box of frogs, or worse.
Thanks for clearing that up!!
Do PM me with why he is called Blunty.
I've known him for several years now, and wasn't too sure whether he was just as mad as a box of frogs, or worse.
Thanks for clearing that up!!
Do PM me with why he is called Blunty.
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This thread is beginning to read a bit like that Readers' Digest "Humour in Uniform", which didn't really work because, in almost every example of banter which ever occurred, you really have to be there! Banter is spontaneous, and best remembered because repeating what really cracked you up isn't the same. You never get the same enjoyment from writing it down, more's the pity.
I took my grandson [16] a 6th Former, and his mate, to the local AA to do their preliminary Driving License test. There is a charge for this, so I told said grandson, "Do it once do it right" and he did. Passed first time. His mate, however, failed by one question and, not wanting to come back, stumped up with the money to sit the test again [it's all done on a computer]. He failed a second time, and he wasn't a happy chappy, a feeling mercilessly made worse by grandson who told him: "If you feel bad now, just wait till Monday when I tell the whole school". Banter is alive and well it would seem!
I took my grandson [16] a 6th Former, and his mate, to the local AA to do their preliminary Driving License test. There is a charge for this, so I told said grandson, "Do it once do it right" and he did. Passed first time. His mate, however, failed by one question and, not wanting to come back, stumped up with the money to sit the test again [it's all done on a computer]. He failed a second time, and he wasn't a happy chappy, a feeling mercilessly made worse by grandson who told him: "If you feel bad now, just wait till Monday when I tell the whole school". Banter is alive and well it would seem!
. . . I GET IT . . 'BLUNTY' . .. DESCENDED FROM A LONG LINE OF SHARPES
Sure, nothing equals the frisson of clever spontaneity and the happy
impact of first time, but it
is still possible, and often quite easy in a fortuitous sort of way , to be
cut to the quick, cracked up to the core so to speak, by chancing
again upon some sensation or experience that impacted brilliantly first
time.
Otherwise we suffer the dulling of key faculties. And are too
easily bored and rendered boring.
Sure, nothing equals the frisson of clever spontaneity and the happy
impact of first time, but it
is still possible, and often quite easy in a fortuitous sort of way , to be
cut to the quick, cracked up to the core so to speak, by chancing
again upon some sensation or experience that impacted brilliantly first
time.
Otherwise we suffer the dulling of key faculties. And are too
easily bored and rendered boring.
Last edited by Fantome; 19th Sep 2010 at 21:50.
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the other side of Blunty
it is only when you read this, that you see a different side to him:
Sqn Ldr BS**** of the Royal Air Force has been awarded the Air Force Cross for "displaying gallantry and airmanship equal to the highest traditions of the Service".
BS*** was an instructor with the RAF Chivenor Tactical Weapons Unit's 151 Sqn. On a Hawk training flight with navigator JP******* in the back seat. BS****** was at 250ft and 450kt over East Anglia when the aircraft hit a mallard duck. The bird smashed through the cockpit canopy and then hit BS*****. His visor was shattered, his nose, left eye socket and sinuses fractured, and his left eyeball severely damaged. His right eye was filled with blast debris, blood and bird remains, and he could not talk to his back-seater. BS**** could have justifiably ejected himself and JP**** at this stage. Instead he climbed, reduced speed, restored partial sight to his right eye, cleared an engine surge caused by ingestion of bird remains and resolved a fuel pressure problem. Having decelerated to reduce buffeting, he could now communicate with JP*****, but could barely see his instruments. The urge to eject was still strong but he resolved to delay abandoning until over open ground. BS**** informed JP***** of the problems and that he would have to fly in response to the back-seater's directions. He then instructed JP***** to transmit a mayday. Despite being in great pain and with misgivings about his failing sight, BS****** flew an immaculate precision radar approach and landed safely at RAF Wittering.
I'll see you in the bar on the next Porsche trip to the Island
Sqn Ldr BS**** of the Royal Air Force has been awarded the Air Force Cross for "displaying gallantry and airmanship equal to the highest traditions of the Service".
BS*** was an instructor with the RAF Chivenor Tactical Weapons Unit's 151 Sqn. On a Hawk training flight with navigator JP******* in the back seat. BS****** was at 250ft and 450kt over East Anglia when the aircraft hit a mallard duck. The bird smashed through the cockpit canopy and then hit BS*****. His visor was shattered, his nose, left eye socket and sinuses fractured, and his left eyeball severely damaged. His right eye was filled with blast debris, blood and bird remains, and he could not talk to his back-seater. BS**** could have justifiably ejected himself and JP**** at this stage. Instead he climbed, reduced speed, restored partial sight to his right eye, cleared an engine surge caused by ingestion of bird remains and resolved a fuel pressure problem. Having decelerated to reduce buffeting, he could now communicate with JP*****, but could barely see his instruments. The urge to eject was still strong but he resolved to delay abandoning until over open ground. BS**** informed JP***** of the problems and that he would have to fly in response to the back-seater's directions. He then instructed JP***** to transmit a mayday. Despite being in great pain and with misgivings about his failing sight, BS****** flew an immaculate precision radar approach and landed safely at RAF Wittering.
I'll see you in the bar on the next Porsche trip to the Island
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And back to banter.........
Scene: Foyer of Officers' Mess, Battle of Britain Cokers P, Mess WO marshalling arriving guests towards their hosted groups.
Enter the Lufwaffe Exchange Officer in full regalia.
Mess WO: "Losers on the left , Sir".
Scene: Foyer of Officers' Mess, Battle of Britain Cokers P, Mess WO marshalling arriving guests towards their hosted groups.
Enter the Lufwaffe Exchange Officer in full regalia.
Mess WO: "Losers on the left , Sir".
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Bert Gough, legendary WO Eng, 72 Sqn (the proper one at Odiham) walking down the corridor OC 72 approaches in the opposite direction,
OC 72 “Morning Warrant”
BG “Morning Wing...................Your office or mine sir”
OC 72 “Morning Warrant”
BG “Morning Wing...................Your office or mine sir”
St Johns Wort - I was there, loved every second (well, Plt Offs didn't normally get to see the grown-ups play in public, did we?). Mr Gough kept me out of the poo on more than one occasion; come to think of it, so did W/C R***...
