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Favourite Military Banter/Phrases

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Old 13th Apr 2005, 15:47
  #181 (permalink)  
 
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...Bloggs was so far behind the aircraft that if we'd had a mid-air collision he would have survived...
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 15:51
  #182 (permalink)  
 
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Helicopters can't fly, they are just so ugly the earth repels them.
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 16:11
  #183 (permalink)  
 
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Rather have a sister in a brothel, than a brother in the RAF / NAVY / ARMY

As welcome as a Red headed step child

He / She has a face like a soup sandwich
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 16:12
  #184 (permalink)  
 
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"In the overhead, with Dunlops dangling"

"t*ts up, on sticks, in the shed"

"3 man, 3 fan, all aloominum persuit ship"

"Silk retarded meat bombs"

"Don't call me 'Sir', I work for a living"

"Exocet - you can see him coming and there's nothing you can do about it"

"No f*ckin use Sir, f*ckin f*ckers f*cked!"

"Uh-oh, social hand grenade has turned up, time to pull the yellow and black..."

Generally said from one squadron to another when an aircraft goes U/S during taxi and returns to the stand:
"You gonna launch that, or are you just taking it for a walk?"
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 16:37
  #185 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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GIMLET - boring little tool
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 18:01
  #186 (permalink)  
 
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Still mutter as I get up off the porcelain - " there goes the Air Force Board to the sea-side"!

Someone set fire to her face and put it out with a frying pan.

About as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit/turd in a swimming pool.

2 more brain cells and he'd be a plant.

As sharp as the leading edge of a fog-bank.

Bloke nicknamed 'Leatherman' - he was a Complete Tool

Nickname 'CSAS' - Everyone knew something about him but no-one knew the full story.
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 18:07
  #187 (permalink)  
 
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Your mother swims out to troop-ships!
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 20:04
  #188 (permalink)  
 
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Sweating like a paedophile in a playground.

and, wait for deletion by mods...

Sweating like a Mississippi ni@@er in a white rape trial.

Oh forgot...

Whose round, I'm Bingo Beer.
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 20:26
  #189 (permalink)  
 
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retort to a mate calling you a fat knacker..

"that's because every time I sh*g your mum, she gives me a biscuit"
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Old 13th Apr 2005, 23:54
  #190 (permalink)  
 
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From 'Jackspeak'

(She) Bangs like a belt-fed Wombat
(120mm recoiless rifle for those artillery spotters out there)
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 00:45
  #191 (permalink)  

I'matightbastard
 
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He's hung like Einstein and has the brains of a horse.
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 05:06
  #192 (permalink)  
 
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He/she's a REESTY b@st@@d.

Just went for a BIMBLE down to the bar.

Use either in civvy st and people look at you like you're a real NATO POTATO

My personal favourite was always FAT TECHIE B@ST@@D which was well understood by service and civilian alike.
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 05:30
  #193 (permalink)  

TAC Int Bloke
 
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I prefer 'Pom de Terre d' OTAN' (in outrageous accent) and 'Rich Techie tw@t' (with much envy in the voice!)
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 08:00
  #194 (permalink)  
Thought police antagonist
 
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Forgot to add " He's a Military Cabbage !"---met a fair few as well !
Krystal n chips is online now  
Old 14th Apr 2005, 09:39
  #195 (permalink)  
 
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If music was bull****, you'd be a brassband

and

If you think that was good, my cock's a kipper
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 10:19
  #196 (permalink)  
 
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Loud yorkshire apprentice to scouse apprentice with pretensions and incipient moustache, "Just 'cos you've got hair round your mouth there's no need to talk like a c**t!"
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 12:24
  #197 (permalink)  
 
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As popular as a dead rat in a tampon factory ...
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 14:02
  #198 (permalink)  
 
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Couple of favourites:

Face like fire damaged lego

Looks like she's been dragged from the wreckage of a burning spitfire

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Old 14th Apr 2005, 14:54
  #199 (permalink)  
 
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"If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose"

"The only way to get a drink out of Bloggs is to stick your finger down his throat"
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Old 14th Apr 2005, 15:03
  #200 (permalink)  
 
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He suffers from a spot of bad luck and a crippling lack of ability.
Ali Barber is offline  


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