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Caption competition

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Caption competition

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Old 6th Dec 2018, 06:40
  #52001 (permalink)  

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Don't worry about Global Warming dear, I hear there'll be a room opening up at the Equadorian Embassy soon.
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 08:07
  #52002 (permalink)  
 
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How was I to know they would mistake Rudolph's flashing red nose for a rescue me flare ?
or
Captain radio's for a full decontamination team for the stable in the hold
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 08:24
  #52003 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Time for a quick one while they unload the sleigh.
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 08:26
  #52004 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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I told you it was nice here, just wait till you see my pole.
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 10:31
  #52005 (permalink)  
 
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"So, you tell me you are spending the night with Rudolph and his mates, when really you are here with a Herc-load of ho-ho-ho's??"
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 11:20
  #52006 (permalink)  
 
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We could have had Airforce1 if you hadn't told Trump jnr to get off your lap

Ttfn
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 15:10
  #52007 (permalink)  
 
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"He's making a list, he's checking it twice.
He's gonna find out if you're naughty or nice".

Santa Claus is detained for contravention of article 4 of the General Data Protection Regulation, 2016/679.
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 15:55
  #52008 (permalink)  
 
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"Remember if ze Gringo's stop us, we tell them Santa does not recognise borders when in his sleigh and we are parked up behind Tacho Bell while ze reindeer rest."
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 16:00
  #52009 (permalink)  
 
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Ho Ho Ho,.that Beagle, every year he wants his stocking filling with Suzanne York in a Section Office Harvey costume..
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 17:55
  #52010 (permalink)  
 
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We asked for Top Gun, we got this. Pentagon says now you know how everybody else feels on Christmas Day when they don't get what they wanted.
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 18:07
  #52011 (permalink)  
 
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Robert Mueller thinks I am a Russian spy, just because I wear red, live as the North Pole and didn't give him a singing Barbie when he was 7.
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 20:28
  #52012 (permalink)  
 
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Santa was subsequently arrested as he had been caught distributing the latest must have toy. The NERF [email protected] blaster toy and there had been a increase of reports of pilots being blinded in flight
or
Yes dear i know our pilot was taken ill but did you have to volunteer at the request 'anyone else know how to fly?
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Old 6th Dec 2018, 23:54
  #52013 (permalink)  
 
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And from the Herky there arose such a clatter
That jolly St. Nick quickly emptied his bladder!
Then poor Mrs. Claus said to Chris - "You're a sot!"
And with her big handbag gave his head a strong swat!

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

- Ed
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Old 7th Dec 2018, 00:13
  #52014 (permalink)  
 
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"Your hands might be cold, but you can't warm them in my muff!"
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Old 7th Dec 2018, 06:08
  #52015 (permalink)  

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Twas the night before Christmas
And the Herc was the best,
Delivering old Santa,
To Hell with Southwest!

The engines were turning,
A delightful old beat.
The shitter was broken
Which explains his cold feet.

With the ABS screaming
They arrived at the Pole
And there at the ramp
The partner of his Soul.

Mary just smiled
And gave him good cheer
"Merry Christmas to all,
and to all Captioneers!

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Old 7th Dec 2018, 11:03
  #52016 (permalink)  
 
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If I remember, I shall judge tonight.
You're so judgmental, why can't you just give all the children a toy?


Last edited by Dan Gerous; 7th Dec 2018 at 11:13.
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Old 7th Dec 2018, 11:28
  #52017 (permalink)  
 
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"Yes, I'm all for gender equality, but I'm damned if I let you time share my beard."
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Old 7th Dec 2018, 11:41
  #52018 (permalink)  
 
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Best thing we did was outsource manufacturing to China, delivery to Amazon, and subcontract the little elves to the circus. Ahhh, peace and quiet at last.
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Old 7th Dec 2018, 14:47
  #52019 (permalink)  
 
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If we paint its nose, we can pretend its Rudolf.
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Old 7th Dec 2018, 17:04
  #52020 (permalink)  
 
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Bah, Humbug and Bollocks to all this, dear. Let’s go to the Maldives instead, and let someone else sort it all out.
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