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Caption competition

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Caption competition

Old 10th May 2015, 12:42
  #29521 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 531
"The last time I shagged the Captain, it was 5 minutes of pleasure followed by 6 hours of unknotting our strings"
How did he make it last 5 minutes?
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Old 10th May 2015, 12:45
  #29522 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
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4 minutes getting his clothes off.
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Old 10th May 2015, 12:59
  #29523 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: ɐıןɐɹʇsn∀
Posts: 1,960
"Sorry Steve, but Virgil is built much better.."
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Old 10th May 2015, 13:48
  #29524 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 17,207
So Captain, the choice is yours, do you want to shack up with either me, the hostie that gives out the mosty, or with Gary the queen of the galley tonight?
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Old 10th May 2015, 14:38
  #29525 (permalink)  

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Join Date: May 2000
Location: #3117# Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005
Posts: 10,269
This Captain's such a smooth talker. If you look closely you'll note that the robot is having a cigarette...
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Old 10th May 2015, 14:40
  #29526 (permalink)  

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Join Date: May 2000
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When Nutty told his friends that he wished he could Marry Annette, they totally mis heard him...
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Old 10th May 2015, 15:40
  #29527 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,897
"..and you can't see the strings. It's like the Leaders' Debates!"
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Old 10th May 2015, 15:44
  #29528 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,897
Capt Steve: "The bigger engines have just been installed, and George here has been upgraded with "Realistic Orifices". If I can get them to fit a beer fridge on the flightdeck, the rest of you are redundant and you can call this jet 'Nirvana'! "
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Old 10th May 2015, 21:11
  #29529 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 17,207
Dr Venus thinks to herself, "hmmm... they have assembled Prof 'Matt' Matic's lower torso back to front, so everyone can see that here comes another ars*hole"
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Old 10th May 2015, 21:17
  #29530 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 17,207
"Why did they call her XL5 Professor?"
"Well they were going to follow on from the MRA4, but thought MRA5 might alert Joe public to the fact we were forced to buy American"
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Old 10th May 2015, 21:21
  #29531 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,897
"...but why Fireball XL5?"

"After what happened to XL1,2,3, & 4, of course."
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Old 11th May 2015, 04:37
  #29532 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.
Posts: 2,298
That's not Robert. That's Matt's cousin Otto.

Last edited by Traffic_Is_Er_Was; 11th May 2015 at 05:20.
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Old 11th May 2015, 08:01
  #29533 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Sussex UK
Age: 62
Posts: 6,995
The Producer ... "CUT ! ... Nobody is going to believe that Steve is piloting XL5 as Wardrobe has forgotten his Big Watch"
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Old 11th May 2015, 17:04
  #29534 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 17,207
Memo
Props department to producer.

Could you please desist in calling out "CUT" at the end of each scene as we are running out of puppet strings.
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Old 11th May 2015, 23:09
  #29535 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: West Coast Canada
Posts: 3,691
So THAT's where the genius's at Navy procurement got the idea for the new RN sea going uniform.......

Last edited by Big Pistons Forever; 11th May 2015 at 23:22.
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Old 12th May 2015, 03:25
  #29536 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 1996
Location: Check with Ops
Posts: 742
Dr Venus wondered: the XL on the door, XL on his shirt; could it be that everything about this captain was XL and XL 5 at that!
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Old 12th May 2015, 07:06
  #29537 (permalink)  

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Posts: 12,691
Venus: "You're right - he really is wearing a wig, you can see the join from back here!"

Co-pilot: "I'm the only one not wearing a wig!"
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Old 12th May 2015, 07:19
  #29538 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Pays Basque
Posts: 584
Blonde: "And what do these knobs do..?"

Escort: "Drink coffee mostly.."
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Old 12th May 2015, 07:23
  #29539 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: these mist covered mountains are a home now for me.
Posts: 1,662
"That's not a robot! That's my…errmm…. Ann Summers electric toothbrush…"
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Old 12th May 2015, 13:29
  #29540 (permalink)  

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Posts: 10,269
This gig isn't so bad. My last job was working with Rod Hull!
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