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Old 3rd Aug 2018, 18:52
  #49521 (permalink)  
 
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"'e sez e's in luv wif Princess Meghan, and if I don't let him into Buckinghuge Palace, he will shoot his own d!ck off............so....you say I should let him do that?"
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Old 3rd Aug 2018, 19:08
  #49522 (permalink)  
c52
 
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"You mean, 'Er Majesty's Army don't 'ave to 'ave ARMY emblazoned across their chest? - Where's yer pride, sonny?"
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Old 3rd Aug 2018, 19:59
  #49523 (permalink)  
 
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Says he wants to swap SA80 for my MP5?
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Old 3rd Aug 2018, 20:24
  #49524 (permalink)  
 
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Para thinks.............I could do his job, I rather like the hat that goes with the job
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Old 3rd Aug 2018, 20:59
  #49525 (permalink)  
 
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Plod....right sonny this is a stop and search

Para....why me?

Plod....well I need a young white male on the record to show I do not only stop young black males

Para...what grounds for a stop?

Plod....well we can't have you wandering round with a metal pointed dagger on your cap l...can we
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Old 3rd Aug 2018, 23:19
  #49526 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Sarge, he doesn't blink. Just how nervous should I be?
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 03:41
  #49527 (permalink)  
 
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Yah I just told him I was on double time and a half, he doesn’t look real happy......
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 09:51
  #49528 (permalink)  
 
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You civvies have it easy. We'd never be allowed to vape on duty
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 10:04
  #49529 (permalink)  
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He says he doesn't want to play "paper scissors rock", he's challenged me to a game of "rifle, handcuffs, grenade" instead...
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 10:34
  #49530 (permalink)  
 
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Honest Sarge there is only 2 of us but we can clearly hear sniggering

( SASless camouflaged in the background)
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 10:55
  #49531 (permalink)  
 
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Following on from Kiltrash at #49446 ...

If it helps your quotas, Officer, I am also Gay and considering a Gender Change.
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 10:57
  #49532 (permalink)  
 
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Para, admiring Police hat ... I wonder if I could nick that as a souvenir while he is distracted?
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 18:13
  #49533 (permalink)  
 
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You can stand down the SWAT team, he got the lot in a clearance sale from Toys R Us
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 22:28
  #49534 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Originally Posted by MPN11
Para, admiring Police hat ... I wonder if I could nick that as a souvenir while he is distracted?
Para think bubble: what a poncey hat.
Copper think bubble: what a poncey hat.

with apologies...
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 22:37
  #49535 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.
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Well Sarge, he's got an 18+ Card, but it looks like a fake. I reckon he's underage.
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Old 4th Aug 2018, 23:23
  #49536 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Sarge, he says we are a bunch of sissies cos our air support unit is grounded when it's foggy.

with apologies #2
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Old 5th Aug 2018, 03:28
  #49537 (permalink)  
 
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Sarge,.... Don't know about the Argies but he don't scare the sh1t out of me

or

Sarge ... he is asking me where ir Herefordshire?
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Old 5th Aug 2018, 04:40
  #49538 (permalink)  
 
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Yah that’s it, one large black coffee for me and a Venti, no foam, half sweet, decaf, soy Latte for my Army mate.
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Old 5th Aug 2018, 06:56
  #49539 (permalink)  
 
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Sarge, there is a chap taking photographs of more than one public servant. We instantly need another female, an officer with an ethnic background and some-one overtly gay before we get into trouble!
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Old 5th Aug 2018, 09:41
  #49540 (permalink)  

Evertonian
 
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"No, he's not wearing a Hi Vis vest either, so I think we're good..."

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