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What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)

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What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)

Old 21st Jun 2010, 22:43
  #3921 (permalink)  
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As these are anonymous forums the origins of the contributions may be opposite to what may be apparent. In fact the press may use it, or the unscrupulous, or sciolists*, to elicit certain reactions.
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Old 26th Jun 2010, 13:06
  #3922 (permalink)  
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Shell Aircraft Person .... I don't understand this. DonCapter's helicopters won't be here and completely ready to take over from Bristow on 1 July. Oh dear, if only I could have removed my head from the sand sooner and seen that this would happen. I mean, Caverscam is one of the major providers of helicopter services. It says so on their website. They have the highest degree of flexibility and the safest, most experienced flight and maintenance crews available. They pride themselves on providing safe and reliable services. Their extensive fleet enables them to use the most appropriate aircraft for the task. They have an enormous infrastructure and vast experience. Mandy and I checked out everything before we recommended them. Oh woe is me .... what am I going to do? What's all this sand doing in my hair? Oh woe, oh woe etc.,... etc.,..... etc.,......

Aero Marketing Person ... Don't worry boyo, we've got a couple of S76s down the valleys we can probably get ready for you and at a very special price just for you. When do you need them? Any special requirements? We can do lamb sandwiches at check in, but the mint sauce may be a bit difficult.

SAP ... No, don't worry about the lamb, have you got high back seats, IHUMS, MARMS and wellies for the rainy season?

AMP ... Well boyo, the wellies won't be a problem as long as you don't mind yellow and we can stick some plywood on the seat backs, but whats this humming and harming stuff?

SAP ... don't worry about the humming and harming, as long as you can give us the helicopters for a couple of months that'll get Snotterdam off my back.

AMP ... who said anything about give boyo? You can rent them for $60,000 a day and I'll throw in the wellies and the lamb sandwiches as a gesture of goodwill.

SAP ... there's lovely then, a bargain and we'll take them from 1 July.

AMP .... 'thinks' - sucker

SAP ... 'thinks' - brilliant, that's got over the first minor problem then and Snotterdam will be so happy . I think I'll go down the pub now
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Old 26th Jun 2010, 14:41
  #3923 (permalink)  
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Remember: As Shell Aircraft's MD has said many times, safety culture is determined by the customer (not the operator) and that is why the change from one operator to another (even after 50 years of continuous service) is so easy for a world leader in safety like Shell to organise.

Its almost 2 years ago that the success of Caverton was predicted here when their strategy was revealed:
Once we have our brand new, shinny AW139 here, with the superb new engineers we have hired to replace certain persons who no longer met our toppest of standards, many top international companies will be queueueing up for our services. Its not every day they will be able to have the world's leader in helicopter operations to show them how they may be taken to new levels of service and experience from Nigeria's premiere helicopter provider.
Shell clearly recognises a good potential supplier when they see one!

In the coming week or two as the first Bristow aircraft are phased out (those S-76s, with their 1979 certification standards) you will see another element of the High Reliability Organisations that are Shell Aircraft and SCiN/SPDC being demonstrated. Namely FLEXIBILITY.

Thats why nuclear aircraft carriers are safe - FLEXIBILITY amongst the experts involved.

You can be sure that Shell's aviation advisors, in Lagos and Rotterdam (who do collaborate closely to help achieve the worlds highest aviation safety standards) will respond FLEXIBLY to all the circumstances to make this Management of Change from Bristow to the futureristic nationally managed Caverton operation smooth and trouble free.

Mark my words: we will all still be talking about the success of this historic change program in 10 years time!

Some sciolists also seem to fail to realise that as well as the leaders in aviation safety, Shell are also leaders in business integrity:

As it says at www.shell.com for all to see:
Shell employees share a set of core values - honesty, integrity and respect for people. We also firmly believe in the fundamental importance of trust, openness, teamwork and professionalism, and pride in what we do.

Our Shell General Business Principles contain the core values of honesty, integrity and respect for people. We apply these through our Code of Conduct and provide training to help staff and contractors meet our standards. If violations occur then we take appropriate action.

Business integrity has been an integral part of Shell’s General Business Principles since 1976 and we have reinforced it internally ever since.

We comply with all applicable laws and regulations of the countries in which we operate.

The direct or indirect offer, payment, soliciting or acceptance of bribes in any form is unacceptable. Facilitation payments are also bribes and should not be made. Employees must avoid conflicts of interest between their private activities and their part in the conduct of company business.
Employees must also declare to their employing company potential conflicts of interest. All business transactions on behalf of a Shell company must be reflected accurately and fairly in the accounts of the company in accordance with established procedures and are subject to audit and disclosure.

If you want to report a violation just call:

All reports are properly investigated and any individuals at fault are punished:
Bribery and corruption put fresh dent in tarnished image of Shell - Business News, Business - The Independent
Shell investigated by SEC over bribery claims - Times Online

Shell also initiated, and was a leading sponsor of, the Nigerian Extractive Industry Transparency Initiative (NEITI), which openly publishes payments made to the government by the international oil companies. Former PM and respected world statesman Tony Blair was a strong supporter of NEITI.

Last edited by Shell Management; 26th Jun 2010 at 15:15. Reason: Font sizes
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Old 26th Jun 2010, 17:42
  #3924 (permalink)  
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Thanks for that, I had almost forgotten some of those excellent websites you pointed out such as Royal Dutch Shell which do indeed give an excellent overview of Smell

Shell North Sea History of Safety Violations and Blackmail

I hadn't realised that NEITI was a Smell initiative. Of course Global EITI had been around for some while before it was adopted in Nigeria, because it's more widely publicised as an initiative of that paragon of transparency, President Olusegun Obasanjo
The government of President Olusegun Obasanjo domesticated it with the formation of The Nigeria Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative (NEITI) in 2004. Thereafter, the Nigeria Extractive Initiative (NEITI) bill was sent to the National Assembly in December that year. However, it was not passed into law until May 28, 2007, just a day before that administration exited.
Former Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo sought partners in China, India, South Korea and elsewhere to buy oil blocks before leaving office in 2007 in return for billions of dollars of infrastructure and downstream investment.
But not a single barrel of oil has been produced by Asian national oil companies in Nigeria nor has any downstream commitment been started, leaving the Nigerian economy with no tangible benefit, the London-based organization said.
"President Obasanjo's stated grand design to achieve a 'development dividend' through the oil-for-infrastructure scheme with Asian national oil companies has fallen apart," it said.
"With it went the impact that it might have made on the Nigerian landscape," Chatham House said in a 60-page report.
Five decades of oil extraction in Africa's most populous country have enriched a small elite, but the vast majority of the country's 140 million people still live on two dollars a day or less.
Chatham House blamed the lack of progress on political interference in what should have been purely business decisions.
"The scale of the corruption, mismanagement and non-execution of projects in the Obasanjo years has sent shockwaves through Nigeria," the report said.
At least it's good to know that Tony Blair, that pillock of the community and well known sleaze-fighter gave it his imprimatur

Public life is so corrupt I fear no one can clean up Blair's legacy of sleaze
Last updated at 1:13 AM on 24th March 2010

Fortune: Tony Blair tried to keep the public in the dark over his dealings with South Korean oil firm UI Energy Corporation
Only a generation ago, Britain was rightly famed throughout the world for the high standards of integrity, decency and probity in our public life.
Our civil servants did not take bribes - in sharp contrast to the deplorable conduct of officials across most of Europe, Africa and beyond.
And our politicians were keenly conscious of the distinction between public service and private greed. They did not go into government to make a fortune.
On the contrary, with a few benighted exceptions - such as Conservative Cabinet minister Jonathan Aitken, who was jailed for perjury - they were driven by a fierce belief in public duty.
But over the past 13 years, British public life has undergone a terrible deterioration. As the Commons expenses scandal so graphically demonstrates, MPs today think nothing of extorting money from the taxpayer.
Meanwhile, former ministers shamelessly profit from office by making ruthless use of their contacts.
And the office of Prime Minister, instead of being the ultimate ambition for every aspiring MP, is now seen as a stepping stone for joining the super-rich.
The great historian A.J.P. Taylor once remarked that David Lloyd George, who led Britain during World War I, was the first Prime Minister since the notoriously corrupt Sir Robert Walpole in the 18th century to make money as a direct consequence of holding high office.
But in the league of shame, Tony Blair is arguably the worst of them all.
We now know that the wretched Blair has multiplied his personal fortune many times over by trading off the connections he made while in Downing Street.
Shockingly, he fought a long battle to conceal the source of his new-found wealth, and only this month did it finally become public that one of his largest clients was a South Korean oil company, the UI Energy Corporation, with extensive interests in Iraq.
Since he has also made £1million from advising the Kuwaiti royal family, it can be fairly claimed that Blair has profiteered as a result of the Iraq War in which so many hundreds of thousands of people died - including, of course, many British servicemen.
In all, Blair is thought to have made some £20million since leaving Downing Street in July 2007.
NEITI really doesn't seem to have been too successful so far does it?
NEITI is mandated by law to promote transparency and accountability in the management of Nigeria's oil, gas and mining revenues.
But its latest report is a sad tale on the part of its stakeholders. The report on 2005 audits on the extractive industries in Nigeria released recently indicted the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), the Department of Petroleum Resources (DPR), Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), the oil companies and Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) of inadequate and controversial disclosures.
For example, according to The Executive Secretary of NEITI, Haruna Yunusa Sa'eed, DPR provided production data that differed from the data provided by the oil companies. In most instances, the company data appeared to be more consistent with other data obtained. The department could not even resolve a glaring disagreement between Shell and Chevron about the amount of Chevron production piped to Bonny Terminal during July-November 2005.
The report shows that the CBN did not record some Petroleum Profit Tax (PPT) payments by oil companies, amounting to $241 million net difference while there are discrepancies in the revenues that oil companies paid to the NDDC and the one declared by the commission itself.
It also reveals that the CBN recorded higher receipts than the ones made by Nigeria Agip Oil Company (NAOC), Phillips and Continental while it did not report the reserves Additional Bonus by the NAOC. Also, the PPT payment for the year by five oil companies namely Brass Exploration, Pan Ocean, Phillips, Conoil and Continental could not be located on CBN template.
And that: "The CBN recorded higher receipts than the ones made by Amni, Elf, and NAOC, while it recorded higher receipts (net) than the ones made by Conoil, Moni Pulo, Panocean Shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC), Philips and Elf."
We had thought that since NEITI is backed by law, it could enforce compliance, reconcile conflicting data and sanction erring stakeholders. But as the 2005 report suggests, there is total disorder.
That is embarrassing. At the country's level of development, there is no excuse for its inability to account for the crude oil and gas production and exports. As discovered by the various consultants that have probed the operations of the oil sector, huge sums of money and petroleum products are still unaccounted for.
Really we are worried that NEITI, may not be able to effectively tackle some of the secretive stakeholders . For proper sanitization of the industry, NEITI and the other supervisors and regulators, notably the NNPC, DPR, Federal Ministry of Petroleum Resources and the Federal Ministry of Finance should be properly resourced and equipped.
NEITI itself should demonstrate its ability to do its job convincingly. We wonder why a 2005 report would be presented in 2010. That is unscientific and the data it provides are unlikely to be very reliable.
We suggest a sea change in the attitudes of all the stakeholders. If that requires a review of the NEITI Act 2007, it should be done without delay. No price is too much to pay for healthy accounting and the creation of a culture of due process in an environment that is riddled with corruption at the moment. Happily, we have enough models in other oil producing countries to follow.
The government must now prove that it can initiate and prosecute institutional decency required in the spirit of the NEITI Act and transparency in the oil sector.
As everything is so transparent in Shell, can you direct me to the bit where it says that if it suits those aviation advisors who are trying to recruit the people they want to be flying for a new company in the Management of Change to a futureristic new company will allow another operating those S-76s, with their 1979 certification standards to operate next week without complying with the Shell requirement to be fitted with IHUMS
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Old 26th Jun 2010, 20:15
  #3925 (permalink)  
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Firstly all credible oil & gas operators fitted some form of "IHUMS" a long time ago to meet the world recognised Shell standards so you must be mistaken (I'm sure ACN aircraft have the Shell approved VXP at very least as HUMS is a clear part of every Shell Aircraft audit checklist).

Secondly, FLEXIBILITY! Its the word that makes the HRO heros at Shell Aircraft the masters of the aviation universe. If you read my message on the S-76 you would know that different rules apply within Shell for short term contracts (which any work with ACN of course would be, pending the launch of Caverton's full world class Shell appproved capability).

This flexibility is especially important in the face of the intense disloyalty of Bristow in not doing the honourable thing and continuing with their contract until Dancopter's EC155B1s were imported. You would think that those snivelling s1its in Bristow management could have been flexible and managed a few weeks more serving Shell, rather than just moving their well equipped S-76Cs to work for Agip.

Luckily the Shell advisory team do know how to be flexible and work around such a shoddy, non-customer focused attitude from such a failing third rate operator as Bristow.

Bring on Caverton, saviours of the Nigerian helicopter industry, is all I say.

If you have an alleged business integrity issue remember to call the hotline.
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Old 27th Jun 2010, 09:14
  #3926 (permalink)  
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Reducing the accident rate 7/7=1

Rotor and Wing recently discussed Shell Aircraft's approach

With the goal of one accident per million flying hours in mind, Shell now insists its employees fly in helicopters that meet the latest standards in seven categories (see table). They range from the latest design and performance standards, through type-specific simulator training to integration of cockpit aids like terrain and traffic warning systems.

You will see all these factors in Nigeria.

One way that Shell ensures that aircraft are available with the sort of comprehensive HUMS that Shell first invented is because Shell control the Aviation Safety Committee of the oil industry trade body OGP. This means:

OGP members adopted the Shell standards
The ASC ensures:

that its guidelines exceed most, if not all, national regulatory requirements.
Shell has:

proven statistically that OGP members have a better accident rate than the oil & gas industry as a whole
Though obviously Shell:

does more than most
Luckily many of the oil companies operating in Nigeria are members of OGP (Shell, Total, Agip, Addax, Exxon and Chevron) and this helps ensure all aircraft in Nigeria are HUMS equipped:

For example, if one oil company expects its people to fly only in HUMS-fitted helicopters, this may be difficult to achieve if it only contracts a few aircraft in a specific region. If its total fleet is 10 times that, there is little incentive for the operator to comply. If however, the oil companies band together to demand HUMS-fitted helicopters, then the initiative may cover 50–60 of those helicopters and be much easier to manage.
ASC also:
spends a lot of time emphasizing the need to go the extra mile in managing and mitigating risk. “At a national oil company you don’t have that driver. Most international companies will coordinate with their partners as a matter of routine.”
Speaking on the complexity of coordinating with National Oil Companies the Shell executive said:

“The issue, as ever, is simply one of implementation, particularly among the national oil companies. We are embarking on a process of education, which is intended to open the eyes of their senior management to the fact that if they do have an aviation operation, there is a risk.

“The danger is that a number of people have been extremely lucky—so far they haven’t had an accident. It’s only when you open the senior management’s eyes to their liability, the wider implications of having an accident—including loss of production and reputation—that you start being listened to.

In certain parts of the world the national authorities, including the governments, are not as attuned to risk as we now are. National regulation is extremely limited.”
On the issue of aircraft types the Shell strategy was clearly stated:

Stevens says Shell will soon tender to upgrade to new-generation helicopters in Nigeria. “We want to get rid of AS332s and replace them with EC225s, [and] S76s with AW139s. And we’ll be doing this in cooperation with the NOC of Nigeria.
You will recall that the 9 aircraft Bristow have been flying will be replaced by first 8 EC155s and then finally just 7 AW139s. That is even better than was originally expected:

It’s not just a question of safety. If you have your demand management—I mean your control of passenger movement—really sharp, with really good load factors and so on, and you replace old types with new ones, you can sometimes do the same job with one less airframe. So your initial start-up costs and operating costs are both lower.”
On the AW139 and the EC155:

AgustaWestland has carved a niche with its new-generation AW139—Bristow ordered three of them at Helitech in October (two were delivered in December) and [Shell] anticipates requiring scores more over the next year or so. Eurocopter’s EC155 is also well-regarded.
Of course across OGP members:

Legacy types such as the Sikorsky S-76 and Bell 412 are now less popular offshore.
Unlike those legacy types, the Mi8, once it has had the Shell Aircraft treatment, as when they are fitted with:

HUMS, push-out escape windows, four-point seat harnesses—they are a different beast altogether.
If only the Nigeria helidecks were larger, Shell could have introduced the Mi8 and tapped the expertise of all those Mi trained ex NAF personnel!
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Old 27th Jun 2010, 09:56
  #3927 (permalink)  
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Graculus you make me laugh with humour

Shell Management - you make me laugh too. Which planet are you from again????

Interesting times.....................
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Old 27th Jun 2010, 15:58
  #3928 (permalink)  
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If you have an alleged business integrity issue remember to call the hotline.
I have already called it to make a specific complaint about the unethical behaviour of 2 particular Smell Aviation Advisors presently in Nigeria who have been openly trying to persuade a number of Bristow pilots to stay on and work for Caverscam because they are worried about who may be left and the level of experience of those coming in. I don't know if I'll have a job in a few months, but I do know about business ethics and I think the behaviour of these people should be brought to the attention of Shell. Knowing Shell, I don't expect any action as the result of my call

The Blood of Saro Wiwa will permanently stain the name of Shell

Saro Wiwa Allegations are Untrue

Shell Agrees to Pay $15.5 million over Saro Wiwa Killing

VXP wasn't accepted by Shell, which was why Bristow fitted IHUMS to its S76C+ aircraft on contract to Shell, but it seems they accept EVXP.

I may be wrong but I don't think any of the helicopters operating for Total, Agip, Addax, Exxon and Chevron are equipped with HUMS. The S76s have VXP or EVXP. The EC225 of course is just based on the AS 332L2, which is just an upgraded version of the original 1974 design AS 332L. The EC155 was originally designated the AS365N4 and is a development of the SA365N3, based on the original 1979 SA365N. The EC155 has been so unsuccessful, it's operated in very few places in comparison with the S76C+ and C++. Its payload is no better than that of the much cheaper As365N3.

You will recall that the 9 aircraft Bristow have been flying will be replaced by first 8 EC155s and then finally just 7 AW139s
That also is not quite the whole truth is it? Bristow was flying 6 EC155Bs, owned by Shell and will continue to do so until the end of September. Until 3 weeks ago, they were also flying 3 S76C+s, until one of them was taken off contract by Shell, leaving 2 which will finish their contract next week. Smell was planning on bringing in 3 ConDapter EC155B1s, 2 to start next week and one to start in mid-July. They've made such a bollox of that, they've now taken on 2 Aero S76C+s for 3 months - and my guess is that it's Shell who'll be paying for that. Despite only initially receiving a verbal notification of the S76 contract finishing, Bristow has quickly managed to find alternative work for those helicopters. The original contract was to have been for 8 AW139s but that has now been reduced to 7 has it -presumably because of Smell downsizing?.

Bristow in not doing the honourable thing
The only dishonourable thing I am aware of is the behaviour of certain Shell Aircraft personnel.
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Old 27th Jun 2010, 19:14
  #3929 (permalink)  
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Am I missing something here?

I thought this "Shell Management" poster was doing that "irony" thing, that his or her or its posts were not meant to be taken totally, 100% seriously, that they were just a wind-up and a parody of standard Shell BS. Are they really mean to be serious, then?

Is that Scottish dwarf back? I thought he had been retired after that big to-do about his hobbies and all but has he now been made some sort of senior Shell aviation advisor?

This is the guy, when I mentioned the unwisdom of dirty great ditches cutting across the ramp at Osubi, who told me that there were paint stripes on the ramp clearly indicating that one was not meant to taxi into them so that was me told. Next thing you know, an MI-34 plops itself in there to beat itself to death and finish by sending a main rotor blade clear over the terminal building into the parking lot. Allegedly. Anyway, then they covered the ditches, once it was too late.

I am not a helo pilot but I still think that big skids beat little wheels when you are facing a forced landing someplace swampy. On the other hand, do French companies pay better incentives than American ones when you sign on that dotted line? Just asking...
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Old 28th Jun 2010, 02:40
  #3930 (permalink)  
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I thought you would mention the lack of spoilers on Dorniers along with noting the dangers of using tiny wheels to taxi on with helicopters. You notice how all of a sudden the 155's had to be taxiied about like airplanes while 212's hovered like.........helicopters?
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Old 28th Jun 2010, 06:42
  #3931 (permalink)  
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Real aircraft?

It was all very, v. mysterious, how Shell decided to get these two unproven types, the Dornier 328 and the EC155, when many people were playing "Connect the Dots" between what we thought we knew about the way the Germans and the French use back-handers as just another marketing tool and how an American company such as Bell Textron supposedly has to operate.

I won't bore you with too much stuff about aircraft with wings that just sit there and flap up and down just a little bit instead of whirling around like mad. I just will say that the obvious choice was the boring old Dash 8 and not the glamourous, exciting and new Dornier 328, when we did see some unforeseen problems with the 328 just as I think there were some with the very new EC155.

You tell me but is it not so that skids rather than wheels is the way to go when you are operating off heli-pads on soft terrain? I would have thought that this meant something like the Bell 412 was the obvious choice rather than the EC155 but perhaps I am missing something to do with its weight or some other operational factor.

Anyway, from what I know of Shell, to have someone here calling him-, her- or itself "Shell Management," I just naturally took that for a joke!

Why that is, in part, well... I was stuck on a Shell contract in Algeria for a short time with a very nice young man who had come from Papua New Guinea. There he had been landing on those short strips up on the mountainsides, when I found that seriously impressive. The only thing was, he told me, he never had to contend with strong crosswinds so that he was a bit weak on that. Short he could do perfectly, sideways could be a problem.

One day he was caught by a gust on landing so that he made a small, harmless excursion out into the bundu before gathering it up and getting it back on the pavement. This was basically a non-event and just one of those things except that the Shell Safety Supervisor classed this a Level 5 event, when 5 usually is something involving risk of death or serious injury, I believe.

I asked the Shell man what number he was going to use for a real Level 5 now that he had stuck that on this non-event, when he just looked at me in that way they have, sort of like what you get by stepping on a toad. I guess he hadn't thought that far ahead. Anyway, I was struck by how similar Shell in Algeria was to Shell in Nigeria and how deeply unpleasant they can be to work for. I often had the feeling they had hired us for our aviation expertise but then chose to tell us what to do rather than trying to let us just do the job with what we already knew.

Here I think perhaps Shell and Caverton should make a perfect match, at least for a little while. Everything will look just perfect on paper but in reality?

Last edited by chuks; 28th Jun 2010 at 08:17.
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Old 28th Jun 2010, 06:55
  #3932 (permalink)  
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I often had the feeling they had hired us for our aviation expertise but then chose to tell us what to do rather than trying to let us just do the job with what we already knew.
Chuks: spot on, that is exactly the way I felt when working in the past for Shell as a contractor.
I know some good guys working for them but they seem to be unable to change Shell's way of thinking / working.

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Old 28th Jun 2010, 11:28
  #3933 (permalink)  
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Think back to some of the folks they hired as advisors.....must be they look for the spineless to give lobotomies. End result is plain to see. Loyalty to the system is commensurate to the level of pay and quality of perks thus "bucking" the system sure ain't gonna happen. Compound that by assigning "advisors" to oversee their former employers and nothing good is going to come from that.
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Old 28th Jun 2010, 18:03
  #3934 (permalink)  
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Exclamation SASLess you are a cruel Man

Think back to some of the folks they hired as advisors.....must be they look for the spineless to give lobotomies
I am sure you are wrong - many Shellie Aviation men had fine spines when they were hired.
I thought they were even initially allowed to keep them and Spine Removal and Lobotomy procedures only took place after the 3 month probation period.

You must be more sympathetic sometimes!

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Old 28th Jun 2010, 20:25
  #3935 (permalink)  
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The current drift of this thread reminds me of my all too brief association with the "golden cage" of Shell Brunei.
Back then, the way ahead appeared to be a) ensure your golf handicap didn't beat the corking Aviation Manager or b) marry the daughter of the then Dutch Transport Manager. Either way your rise up the Shellie food chain was positively stellar!
I'm reminded also of lesson one in the Shell management guide book: "Eric, (not real name) you must learn to manage the Shell way, from the rear"!
with fraternal greetings,
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Old 28th Jun 2010, 20:55
  #3936 (permalink)  
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Ambi - there but for the grace etc.

Back in 87 I applied for S61 Shell Brunei since Bristow married accompanied jobs were either:

a) Crap


b) Crap

For some inexplicable reason - (my spine was well intact judging by the number of bollockings I received from Bristow at the time) I was offered Shellie Aviation Advisor South America which I declined (graciously I thought) because I was actually very happy with Bristow but just needed a decent MA posting and the AA job was rotational.

I discovered several months later (actually in the Craighaar bar in Aberdeen from the incumbent Shell CP Brunei) that I had committed the ultimate sin and in spite of passing the "Masonry blackballing test" in Brunei had been well and truly disappeared off the radar for refusing a Shellie pensionable job (sorry Mr. Brown but I was young (ISH) and innocent (ISH))

Bollocks - I could have retired by now!

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Old 29th Jun 2010, 04:07
  #3937 (permalink)  
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You could be running Osubi Air Strip! Always look on the bright side of life!

Such an unhappy company and such a lot of twisted little people... please tell me that I am right to think that there just has to be more to life than making lots of money while having a dog's life!

One of the best was a Bristow Port Harcourt wife being told by a Shell wife that when the balloon went up her Bristow husband was going to evacuate the Shellies first because that was the plan, only returning later for the Bristow wives and kids. So that was her told!

My sick imagination supplied an image of a B212 appearing at the Shell Compound and a cluster of Shellies shouting "Hey! Over here! You are going to the wrong place! God, you just cannot get the help these days!" followed by, "Look, he's leaving..." To return later, of course.
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Old 29th Jun 2010, 05:30
  #3938 (permalink)  
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Thanks Chuks!


You could be running Osubi Air Strip! Always look on the bright side of life!
Gulp! - you're spot on Chuks.

It is bad enough occasionaly passing through that Shellie monument to Aviation Excellence trying to stop "Security" ripping off the contents of your bags and attempting to hang on to at least one lighter so that you can light a soothing fag when (or if) your flight delivers you to your destination. They make even USA TSA look sensible!

I'm H.A.P.P.Y. etc.

Troglodita is offline  
Old 29th Jun 2010, 07:31
  #3939 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: mobile
Posts: 242
You got Shell right on the burron there Chuks.I was in Miri when one of the Bristow Engineers was seriously ill but was not entitled to go into the Shell clinic in Brunei,he subsequently died but only after we had flown him to Singapore in the HS125 having taken out the windscreen to get him in.(We put it back again.)While he was lying in the grotty clinic in Miri the Chief Engineer (who later went to Shell) and others of the same ilk were going past the clinic to go on the P*ss on the Companies'expence. Real leaders of men!!!!
mtoroshanga is offline  
Old 29th Jun 2010, 07:59
  #3940 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 180

Console yourself by knowing you didn't sell your soul to the corporate devil!
At least when you applied Smell still had standards, they must have done, they hired me! Look at them now, there are even Celtic 'sheep shaggers' within their ranks, Douglas Bader must be turning in his grave!
Besides you need the stimulation that comes from being at the 'sharp end', it keeps the grey matter working.
I recall a Shell contract engineer at the time saying (and this applies to every other oil company I suspect) "if oil & gas didn't come out of the ground under pressure they wouldn't have a clue as to how to get it out". Followed by "what 's the most pampered individual in the world" = " a Shell wife closely followed by a Shell cat".
Oh dear, I think I'm getting tired with all these anecdotes, I must go & lie down, nurse, nurse! - where are you?
with fraternal greetings,
ambidextrous is offline  

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