Caption Competition Mk II
Ma'am I have a request from Westminster Council, please can you accommodate the 245 rough sleepers in the Borough, according to their Council Tax records you happen to have 246 bedrooms?
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.
Age: 79
Posts: 7,812
Received 137 Likes
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64 Posts
#At the third stroke it will be 7 ... 53 ... precisely#
Q: Very good, Prime Minister. Do you do other impersonations?
B: Well, Ma’am, I’m working on my Leader thing, but ... ahh ... the Doctors seem to have grabbed that theme.
Q: Very good, Prime Minister. Do you do other impersonations?
B: Well, Ma’am, I’m working on my Leader thing, but ... ahh ... the Doctors seem to have grabbed that theme.
"Hey, Your Maj - you remember there's a popular programme called The Crown? Well, I've got an even better idea, it's going to be called the The Unkempt Hair, and it's going to be all about ME. Whaddoyouthink?"
Ah Mr Johnson, thank you for taking my call, Now you know you are my 23rd Prime Minister and you know that none, so far, have been assassinated, Well I had a arrangement with your predecessors that so long as they kept Phillip out of court no matter what he said or did, they would stay that way, I trust we have the same arrangement?
Ah Prime Minister, You know this Coronavirus lockdown, well it is ever so lonely now in such a big Palace with only a handful of staff, and a woman has certain 'needs'. WelI I have tried every one to come round, even that nice Mr Rooney, but no one wants to help an old lady, you are my last hope, please can you come round and turn...this damm lamp orf??
I am sorry Ma'am but it appears that you and your family are classed as self employed and as such your work is also classed as non essential, So you can only claim up to £2500 per Month. . Mr Corbyn has noted that your profit for last year was in excess of £50000 and so you do not even quality for that. But don't worry I will sack the Chancellor of the Exchequer
Boris ….I'm sorry Ma'am but the Americans are playing hard ball and refusing to foot Prince Harry's security bill...
HMtQ….Oh Damm and Blast, oh well I suppose I can chip in with £5, hm
Boris.....Oh that's so generous Ma'am, £5m should cover it without raiding the Exchequer
HMtQ ...No £5 and I want the change...
HMtQ….Oh Damm and Blast, oh well I suppose I can chip in with £5, hm
Boris.....Oh that's so generous Ma'am, £5m should cover it without raiding the Exchequer
HMtQ ...No £5 and I want the change...
"Yes, your Madge, how can I help?"
"One just wanted to thank you for suggesting one rubs the Aladdin's Lamp on one's mantelpiece. One was granted three wishes, and so far one has got rid of Andrew, and Harry. For the third wish, didn't you say you always wanted a twelve-inch pianist?"
"One just wanted to thank you for suggesting one rubs the Aladdin's Lamp on one's mantelpiece. One was granted three wishes, and so far one has got rid of Andrew, and Harry. For the third wish, didn't you say you always wanted a twelve-inch pianist?"
Ah yes Prime Minister but I have sen the latest opinion poll and it shows that most of the people do not trust you. So I have appointed Dr Hillary from Good Morning Britain as your successor and Piers Morgan as the Communication Czar.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 33,037
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1,247 Posts
Ok scores on the doors, and in order are
C52 with
"Prime Minister, in these times it's only right that the capable support the incapable. Can I get you any shopping?"
Wenslydale with
"Its about some clarification of the rules. One is told to limit ones visits to the shop. What is a shop, and why does one have to go there?"
Buster with
"You've got it? Then why the hell are you calling me!!!"...*click
"Ma'am?......Ma'am...."
Over to use C52, The CST trophy will be treated and shipped to you shortly.
C52 with
"Prime Minister, in these times it's only right that the capable support the incapable. Can I get you any shopping?"
Wenslydale with
"Its about some clarification of the rules. One is told to limit ones visits to the shop. What is a shop, and why does one have to go there?"
Buster with
"You've got it? Then why the hell are you calling me!!!"...*click
"Ma'am?......Ma'am...."
Over to use C52, The CST trophy will be treated and shipped to you shortly.
Gnome de PPRuNe
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 60
Posts: 12,634
Received 300 Likes
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168 Posts
Carruthers, when I told you to get back in the saddle after your prang this isn't quite what I meant...
Talk about late on the roundout....
- Ed
- Ed