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Apocryphal Tales

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Apocryphal Tales

Old 11th Feb 2014, 19:21
  #61 (permalink)  
 
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Regrettably, the car jettisoning story doesn't ring true - the teaching was always not to jettison freight as it would likely take the tail off (but happy to be proved wrong please).

My favourite Pedro Tyas story is the one where on a pax flight he climbs out of the aft escape hatch telling the young squaddie not to let them shut it up. Shortly thereafter the GE (was it you Smuj?) came down and shut the hatch, despite the protestations of said squaddie. Pedro, of course, had walked along the roof and back in via the flight deck hatch. After landing, the process was reversed, followed by frenetic thumping on the aft hatch.........

I hope I've got that at least a bit right!!!

There's so many Herc stories - a good source for stories in general was tales from the Crewroom by Dave Berry!
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 19:24
  #62 (permalink)  
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Or the Herc where the captain jumped out
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 19:32
  #63 (permalink)  
 
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Or the Herc where the captain jumped
OOOH ,Don't open that can of worms again PN PLEASE .....
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 19:39
  #64 (permalink)  
 
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[quoteWhat about the one where the student crashed his jet (JP?) and went to sit in the Officers Mess and denied all knowledge? What's the true story behind that?
BV][/quote]
Allegedly orginally an M.E. student on a Piston Provost........
(One of many tales)
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 19:45
  #65 (permalink)  
 
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I heard a story long ago which involved a two seater Meteor flying from Germany to a Welsh airfield just after the war. There was still rationing in the UK and a side of beef had been acquired and strapped into the rear seat for the flight to Wales. The aircraft flew into a hillside in Wales with the loss of the pilot but the story goes that the recovery team spent ages trying to identify the person in the back. Not sure if this is true or myth.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:04
  #66 (permalink)  
 
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A course of "international" students bashing night solo circuits in JPs.
What about the one where the student crashed his jet (JP?) and went to sit in the Officers Mess and denied all knowledge? What's the true story behind that?
I heard a variation on both of those from an extremely experienced instructor at Linton; no idea if it was still apocryphal then or if he'd seen them for real!

The night circuits one was a solo international student who was afraid of getting lost in his mighty JP; so he taxied round to the far side of the airfield, sat quietly, left it on the brakes at full power for 20-30 minutes to use enough fuel, then taxied back and said he'd had a great trip.

The "sat in the ante room" story was similar, but I think it was something like an aborted takeoff or a problem on taxy, rather than a crash. Instead of lose face, he simply left the jet where it was and ran to the mess, changed into slacks and a shirt, and claimed he wasn't due to fly that day...!
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:07
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What about the one where the student crashed his jet
Supposedly happened at Little Rissington and was doing the rounds at BZN, in the early '70's.

recovery team spent ages trying to identify the person in the back
Akrotri, mid '60's. Car with four people in it driving back to Limassol after a do in the Sgt's mess. About 1/2 mile from the main gate they hit a donkey which rolled onto the bonnet, smashed the w/screen and spilt it's guts all over the passengers. Police, ambulance arrive and find passengers uninjured but literally covered in blood, guts and shit. Two women in following car had to be sedated!

Coincidentally, about 15 years later I was driving up a country lane when a runaway horse came tearing down the road towards me. I braked but it attempted to jump over my car, broke the windscreen and rolled over the top. I had stopped and ducked down but as I heard it hit the windsreen I immediatly thought of that donky and expected to be covered in guts! I wasn't but the poor thing had to be out down.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:12
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Bob Viking...that story of the student who banged out then went to sit in the Officers Mess is true. It was a foreign gentleman at Leeming.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:12
  #69 (permalink)  
 
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Wageslave

That is a true story and I could put a name to that man!
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:49
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First week or two in recruit training...


Huge hairy scary looking Rockape Corporal marches in & addresses the class...


"I was five minutes late reporting for duty this morning, so I have put myself on a charge!"


This is quite true, for certain idiocy sticks in ones mind for a lifetime. The young flight Idle did not believe it for one moment, even at that impressionable age.


Just a week or two later, in Sherwood forest, we go onto this sort of 'Camping & initiative training lark, including the 'Rope slide thingy'


The 'Bar' to hold onto was selected by said Rockape Corporal from a piece of wood. I saw it snap under load & one unfortunate recruit sailed down form a tall tree in seeming slow motion.


Soft leaves & twigs saved him, I saw him bounce, I thought he was dead, not moving at all & they shoved him into a land rover.


A couple of days later, he was back on flight & as good as gold.


A couple of days later, a recruit fainted during a first aid film (I seem to recall it was the rotary saw going into a wrist with blood spurting out)


Rockape Corporal screaming "What the F**k are you all doing sitting there, come & sort this man out.

The technical training seemed to be far more civilised, but I do like the Rocks now, looking back on it.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:53
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I got on with the Rocks as I was into shooting and stuff but one or two of them were seriously barking.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 20:56
  #72 (permalink)  
 
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Smudge: Re Sheikh Yahwad - thank you for the update, at least I was half right!

A Meteor pilot at Middleton St George tried to do a single engine roller, ends up departing the runway perpendicularly, crashes through the Mess car park writing off his car & crashes through the wall of his room. Rather less funnily the chap was killed, in the version I was told he survived the crash, opened the canopy & was struck by falling masonry.

Another Pete Tyas story: whilst carrying a contingent of Pongos he strips down to shreddies & wraps a towel around himself then saunters nonchalantly down the freight bay to the Elsan. Draws the curtain around then wets himself with water from the emergency flask emerging a few minutes later towelling himself down, proceeds back to Flt deck to dress.

Young army officer requests that the Colonel be permitted to use the 'shower' but is bluntly refused as it's the 'aircrew shower'. Argument ensues but Pete is adamant it's for aircrew use only.

Colonel takes up the matter officially on return to the UK & presses for due sanctions for the ALM's obstinacy & failure to permit him to shower. Official complaint reaches a suitably high level before it's rebuffed as the C130 has no such facility.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:03
  #73 (permalink)  
 
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Regarding the 'Foreign gentlemen' I had a briefing from the horses mouth, it went like this...


One third are as good as the best RAF pilots, one third are average, one third are totally useless and & sort of do a course with the only hope of getting a desk job when finished.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:12
  #74 (permalink)  
 
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I used to teach foreign techies at Cosford from a variety of sandy regions as well as other places. I think it was just an attendance course for most of them. The best were ones from a large sandy region that used to try and bribe us...
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:16
  #75 (permalink)  
 
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"Flight!"

No response.

"Flight Sergeant, I am addressing YOU!"

No response.

"Flight, I will be speaking to your CO when I next see him"

"Sir, I am a Colour Sergeant"

"Well if you were in the RAF, you'd be a Flight Sergeant"

"No Sir, if I were in the RAF I'd be an Air Marshal"

Or some such. Some versions have the services swapped around.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:20
  #76 (permalink)  
 
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Back in the days of yore at Kinloss, not long after the Nimrod came into service, the station had a policy of flying ground personnel on local sorties. There were lots of takers and understandably some were of the female persuasion. Dress regs were non existent and pax would usually fly in working blue.
Now the toilet in the Nimrod is forward,opposite the front entrance door, with the door opening onto the passageway to the flight deck. If pax needed to use the loo they generally approached from the Tac area,past the beam window seats and the rear face of the toilet wall. Attached to the rear face of the toilet wall was a small aluminium grill, for ventilation, and by happenstance it looked straight into the mirror,above the sink and opposite the pedestal.
Rumour has it that the grill was a popular spot when female pax were caught short. Rumour also has that at some time rules were changed so that WRAFs only flew if there two or more!
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:38
  #77 (permalink)  

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The Middleton story was certainly current when I was nightstopping there in the '80s. The airport hotel is the old mess. We were usually a crew of 2 flightdeck (male) and two cabin crew (female). The girls would refuse to sleep alone, but sadly for us, our offer of a pilot each to protect them from the ghost got nowhere (as far as I know). They settled for sharing a room between them.
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:41
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And the mess at Middleto st George is now a hotel. The unfortunate pilot who crashed into the mess, now haunts the hotel
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:43
  #79 (permalink)  
 
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237 OCU Hunter T7 flying northwards to the west of the Aberdeen TCA en route Lossie. Handling pilot spots a potential birdstrike looming and so conversation goes something like this:

Pilot: Flock of birds!!
Stude: That's not Fochabers, that's Keith.
Pilot: What.... my name's not Keith, its Dick.
Stude, What... Oh never mind they've gone now.

Pilot, 'Fast Re-joiners please?
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Old 11th Feb 2014, 21:58
  #80 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by DCThumb View Post
My favourite Pedro Tyas story is the one where on a pax flight he climbs out of the aft escape hatch telling the young squaddie not to let them shut it up.
That wasn't Pedro (he of the drawing skid marks on your shreddies with chinagraph), but T** L**.


Originally Posted by DCThumb View Post
There's so many Herc stories - a good source for stories in general was tales from the Crewroom by Dave Berry!
I still have my (signed) copy.
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