Apocryphal Tales
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HB
Here is a link to bits and pieces of it written by the pilot.
http://www.pprune.org/military-aircr...rd-strike.html
Here is a link to bits and pieces of it written by the pilot.
http://www.pprune.org/military-aircr...rd-strike.html
Wrathmonk,
"The one I always hoped was true was the tale of a Herc load of paras returning to UK from some exercise or other. The troops were not on their best behaviour so on landing at Lyneham the Master Loadie decides on a bit of payback and has his human cargo doubling around outside the aircraft whilst waiting for the pax bus. As is the case this takes forever but finally it arrives and the paras (no doubt not even out of breath!) board the bus. Last on is the Sgt Maj who takes the Loadie to one side and says, words to the effect of, no problems with the 'punishment' but perhaps next time he could fall the colonel out."
The Loadmaster involved was the legendary MALM Pete Tyass I believe, who many ex Truckies will confirm was a major bundle of humour. The actual event occurred somewhere like Paya Lebar waiting for the front end drivers to turn up for departure. Everything else is as you describe. The man was a legend.
Smudge
"The one I always hoped was true was the tale of a Herc load of paras returning to UK from some exercise or other. The troops were not on their best behaviour so on landing at Lyneham the Master Loadie decides on a bit of payback and has his human cargo doubling around outside the aircraft whilst waiting for the pax bus. As is the case this takes forever but finally it arrives and the paras (no doubt not even out of breath!) board the bus. Last on is the Sgt Maj who takes the Loadie to one side and says, words to the effect of, no problems with the 'punishment' but perhaps next time he could fall the colonel out."
The Loadmaster involved was the legendary MALM Pete Tyass I believe, who many ex Truckies will confirm was a major bundle of humour. The actual event occurred somewhere like Paya Lebar waiting for the front end drivers to turn up for departure. Everything else is as you describe. The man was a legend.
Smudge
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There was one about a techy commiting suicide by pulling the handle in the shed, spreading himself all over the roof. Another option is a techy died when the seat went of in the shed.
An ATCO guy on a jolly in a Hawk pulled the handle for no apparent reason. When picked up and asked why he had banged out he said 'I wanted to see what it was like.'
Theres a ghost in the Lincoln bomber at Cosford.
There's s ghost in just about any WW11 vintage hangar in the RAF.
A Lightning almost took the top off of Lincoln cathedral before landing at Swinderby, lost.
One of the Phantom OCU crews intercepted a UFO.
There were ME109's buried at the end of Gutersloh runway.
An ATCO guy on a jolly in a Hawk pulled the handle for no apparent reason. When picked up and asked why he had banged out he said 'I wanted to see what it was like.'
Theres a ghost in the Lincoln bomber at Cosford.
There's s ghost in just about any WW11 vintage hangar in the RAF.
A Lightning almost took the top off of Lincoln cathedral before landing at Swinderby, lost.
One of the Phantom OCU crews intercepted a UFO.
There were ME109's buried at the end of Gutersloh runway.
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Herc nav in Nairobi beaten up by drunken paras (are there any other sort).
Later said nav with nose covered in plaster has load of paras for a drop. Deliberately misses DZ and drops them in the ocean.
~~~~~~
Victor 2 Blue Steel on the deadly 20W navex. All crew swap positions with nav in right hand seat -"what's this black and yellow for?" Dun know, pull it and find out.
Canopy jettison does not work as advertised but merely lifts off depressurising aircraft fortunately.
Crew bollocked for piss poor performance. Engineers bollocked for improper maintenance of the canopy.
~~~~~~
A real oldie, pilot and nav swap flying suits in Valetta. 'Pilot' then leaves seat, ties piece of string to control column and hands to army officer pax with instructions to pull if the aircraft descends etc then goes down to toilet in rear.
Later said nav with nose covered in plaster has load of paras for a drop. Deliberately misses DZ and drops them in the ocean.
~~~~~~
Victor 2 Blue Steel on the deadly 20W navex. All crew swap positions with nav in right hand seat -"what's this black and yellow for?" Dun know, pull it and find out.
Canopy jettison does not work as advertised but merely lifts off depressurising aircraft fortunately.
Crew bollocked for piss poor performance. Engineers bollocked for improper maintenance of the canopy.
~~~~~~
A real oldie, pilot and nav swap flying suits in Valetta. 'Pilot' then leaves seat, ties piece of string to control column and hands to army officer pax with instructions to pull if the aircraft descends etc then goes down to toilet in rear.
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USAF Distaff member in rear seat of Jag at Bruggen cleared the stores in flight.... Pilot down steps, up steps, whack....
Thread Starter
Apocryphal Tales
I have another one. I heard stories of Lightnings playing 'chicken' by pointing at Beachy Head. How close to the mark is that? Probably way off I suppose.
Oh and what about the Phantom navigators putting china graph marks on the front canopy in flight, or the USN guys dipping their tailhooks in the sea to see who had the highest salt mark? Any truth in any of these?!
BV
Oh and what about the Phantom navigators putting china graph marks on the front canopy in flight, or the USN guys dipping their tailhooks in the sea to see who had the highest salt mark? Any truth in any of these?!
BV
Last edited by Bob Viking; 11th Feb 2014 at 04:34.
There were ME109's buried at the end of Gutersloh runway.
There was also a UXB ( found by the RIC looking at old airfield photography) recovered over by IV Sqn.
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Originally Posted by smujsmith
The Loadmaster involved was the legendary MALM Pete Tyass I believe, who many ex Truckies will confirm was a major bundle of humour. The actual event occurred somewhere like Paya Lebar waiting for the front end drivers to turn up for departure. Everything else is as you describe. The man was a legend.
Smudge
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A USAF E-3B on a training sortie with a senior Army officer pax on board. The Mission Crew use the simulator function of the software to good effect....
"Sir, this is very secret and you must not tell anyone about what you have seen". On a selective intercom call from the back, the pilots perform a small "bunt" and the console set up as simulator controller "Flies Off the Frisby" to practice "Remote over the Border Operations". ("Sir, we normally practise this over Area 51 - hence the reports"....).
The army chap is most impressed and promises complete secrecy. However, next day, the crew are hauled in front of the Sqn Boss. The crew MCC tells the Boss that it is not them who should be in trouble - it was the Army chap who should be jailed for spouting off about his experience in the Officers' Club bar that night!
"Sir, this is very secret and you must not tell anyone about what you have seen". On a selective intercom call from the back, the pilots perform a small "bunt" and the console set up as simulator controller "Flies Off the Frisby" to practice "Remote over the Border Operations". ("Sir, we normally practise this over Area 51 - hence the reports"....).
The army chap is most impressed and promises complete secrecy. However, next day, the crew are hauled in front of the Sqn Boss. The crew MCC tells the Boss that it is not them who should be in trouble - it was the Army chap who should be jailed for spouting off about his experience in the Officers' Club bar that night!
A story I can't verify - my mother's RAF boyfriend apparently decided to fly down one of the main streets of Salisbury Rhodesia below building height in a Hawker Hunter. Must have been the late 50s but again I don't really know. It was past the union building if I understand correctly. My uncle was on top of this building, where he worked, with a camera supposedly to capture the event but he was so shocked that he missed it. Apparently it caused fairly serious trouble but was smoothed over for the sake of diplomatic relations. I will never know how much truth there is in this story but I think that whatever untruth there is didn't originate from her. Maybe there are some newspaper archives if they haven't been left to rot.
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AirTroopers on a fire awareness course are shown the old 'lit match into a bucket of AVTAG, goes out' thing.
Next day, one of the previous days students is refuelling a Scout.
Says to chum "this stuff don't even burn, I'll show you".
Flips open Skite fuel cap and chucks match in.
Whoomph!
Scratch on Scout.
Final bit of the story, A/Tprs name was P. Brayne.
It can't be true, surely?
Next day, one of the previous days students is refuelling a Scout.
Says to chum "this stuff don't even burn, I'll show you".
Flips open Skite fuel cap and chucks match in.
Whoomph!
Scratch on Scout.
Final bit of the story, A/Tprs name was P. Brayne.
It can't be true, surely?
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There was a story going around in the late 70's at a Vulcan servicing unit, of a tradesman sat in a Vulcan fuel tank, reading a book by torchlight.
Apparently the X ray guys turned up & did their business, oblivious of the tradesman in said tank. The story went that the X ray guys were horrified when looking at the plates, to see the ghostly outline of a skeleton sat in the tank.
I somehow doubt the veracity of the story, but it was popular at the time.
Apparently the X ray guys turned up & did their business, oblivious of the tradesman in said tank. The story went that the X ray guys were horrified when looking at the plates, to see the ghostly outline of a skeleton sat in the tank.
I somehow doubt the veracity of the story, but it was popular at the time.
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I do know of a Civilian BAE 125 that had similar, An inspector had lost his torch and blamed everyone under the sun for stealing it, anyway we used to have to annually NDT the wings for Corrosion and when the Xrays were developed lo and behold his torch, exactly where he had left it!
There was the chair in a Herc fuel tank one... is that true? found when they opened them up the next year.
There was the chair in a Herc fuel tank one... is that true? found when they opened them up the next year.
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Many, many moons ago a young University Air Squadron pilot (Cadet Pilot Bloggs) on a solo navex in a Chipmunk became 'temporarily uncertain of his position'. Seeing an inviting field oriented into wind, he executes the perfect precautionary forced landing. Consulting farmer Giles, Bloggs ascertains his position and phones his squadron sheepishly to explain his predicament.
After close scrutiny of the terrain on the charts, UAS Boss and CFI auth themselves in another aircraft, one being to fly Bloggs' aircraft back. Bloggs, meantime, makes maximum space for the inbound by getting Farmer Giles to help him push his aircraft through the gate into the next field.
Boss and CFI arrive overhead and are impressed - nay, amazed - that Bloggs had managed such an exquisite precautionary forced landing. But, hey, if he could, they could
A2* instructors leave nothing to chance, of course, so after one approach to overshoot ("Christ, Bloggs didnt half pick a tight field!"), the Boss and CFI land - and run out of field before burying the prop in the hedge.
Bloggs runs over as the Boss extracts himself from the thicket.
"Bloggs, why on earth did you land in this bloody paddock when theres a bloody great big field next door?!"
"I didn't, Sir. I landed in the big field and pushed her through the gate to make more space for you!"
Allegedly.
After close scrutiny of the terrain on the charts, UAS Boss and CFI auth themselves in another aircraft, one being to fly Bloggs' aircraft back. Bloggs, meantime, makes maximum space for the inbound by getting Farmer Giles to help him push his aircraft through the gate into the next field.
Boss and CFI arrive overhead and are impressed - nay, amazed - that Bloggs had managed such an exquisite precautionary forced landing. But, hey, if he could, they could
A2* instructors leave nothing to chance, of course, so after one approach to overshoot ("Christ, Bloggs didnt half pick a tight field!"), the Boss and CFI land - and run out of field before burying the prop in the hedge.
Bloggs runs over as the Boss extracts himself from the thicket.
"Bloggs, why on earth did you land in this bloody paddock when theres a bloody great big field next door?!"
"I didn't, Sir. I landed in the big field and pushed her through the gate to make more space for you!"
Allegedly.
Cosford Lincoln ghost
My father worked for a Midlands newspaper and was doing a special supplement to mark a major anniversary of the Battle of Britain (probably 40th) which involved working with the RAF Museum contingent at Cosford who supplied many prints of photos. He was told the Lincoln ghost story by the then curator (?) and how the chap had gone out to the hangar in darkness to have the hangar doors opened for him and the lights put on, only to find the hangar empty. Great story for a gullible journalist perhaps -my dad always loved a good yarn. But around the same time one of the Midlands TV Stations had reason to do some filming from within the Lincoln and there is footage of a 'ghostly' figure trying to come up through a hatch into the flight deck area. But when they looked for who had interrupted the shot, no one was to be found! I saw the footage some years ago and it's rather inconclusive and not very ghostly.
The better story he picked up at the same time was the 'high level' ministerial visit of people looking at Cosford's TS2 prototype with a view to resurrecting the project! The story got quashed from on high (so the family legend goes).
Reminds me that I have a box of prints of various WW2 aircraft given by Cosford which we found when he died. Really must send them back!
The better story he picked up at the same time was the 'high level' ministerial visit of people looking at Cosford's TS2 prototype with a view to resurrecting the project! The story got quashed from on high (so the family legend goes).
Reminds me that I have a box of prints of various WW2 aircraft given by Cosford which we found when he died. Really must send them back!