Apocryphal Tales
Meteor T7 air test
Young Meteor pilot about to take a T7 out for an air test gets phone call from a young chap in a ground trade asking if there was any chance of a flight that day. 'Of course' says our young pilot.
After briefing, they take to the air, excited pax in the back. Air test completed our young pilot asks pax if he'd like to do some aerobaticss?
'Oh yes please, sir, that would be fantastic!'
So our pilot starts off with a loop.
'That was great fun sir, what was that called?' .....and so on.
So after every aerobatic manoeuvre, the same question is forthcoming from the rear seat.....
Our pilot is getting a bit bored with his aeros, so decides to end off with a stall turn (may be wrong here) and head to base for tea and medals.
Unfortunately, there's a problem, and our young tyro ends up in an inverted spin (I am told Meteors don't spin too well).
Our tyro battles for control (no bang seats in a T7 of course in case of the worst) and after much wrestling he regains control, mops his fevered brow, and heads for home.....and then from the back seat
'That was great fun sir, what was THAT called'.....Silence on the way back to base.....
After briefing, they take to the air, excited pax in the back. Air test completed our young pilot asks pax if he'd like to do some aerobaticss?
'Oh yes please, sir, that would be fantastic!'
So our pilot starts off with a loop.
'That was great fun sir, what was that called?' .....and so on.
So after every aerobatic manoeuvre, the same question is forthcoming from the rear seat.....
Our pilot is getting a bit bored with his aeros, so decides to end off with a stall turn (may be wrong here) and head to base for tea and medals.
Unfortunately, there's a problem, and our young tyro ends up in an inverted spin (I am told Meteors don't spin too well).
Our tyro battles for control (no bang seats in a T7 of course in case of the worst) and after much wrestling he regains control, mops his fevered brow, and heads for home.....and then from the back seat
'That was great fun sir, what was THAT called'.....Silence on the way back to base.....
Last edited by Treble one; 16th Feb 2014 at 16:03.
(a bear of little brain)
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Is there any truth in the tales of pilots driving v fast down motorways with NVGs on and no headlights?
Anyway according to the tale the police started checking and couldn't find anything so one night a determined effort was put on, with a cordon set up, closing in on the reports of the noise. And eventually they stopped a couple of Porsches, driven by RAF F1 Pilots with no lights (at midnight) but wearing the latest (only just introduced and still top-secret) low-light goggles. Allegedly their boss was not impressed by this behaviour.
Apochrypha I.
True tale this:
Luftwaffe exchange officer destined for 56(F) is sent to Brwady to do a UK orientation course. After a short brief, they hop into a Hawk and make merry. All seems to go fine, as far as the Luftwaffe mate is concerned, but at the debrief he is told that they'll probably need a couple more trips before he can go off on his own as his landings weren't too great.
"Any questions, Erik?"
"Ja - did you not know I am a navigator?"
It seems Erik simply thought that poling the Hawk was an unusual, rather novel part of a navigator's orientation course - "An interesting course you Brits give us, nicht wahr?"
Luftwaffe exchange officer destined for 56(F) is sent to Brwady to do a UK orientation course. After a short brief, they hop into a Hawk and make merry. All seems to go fine, as far as the Luftwaffe mate is concerned, but at the debrief he is told that they'll probably need a couple more trips before he can go off on his own as his landings weren't too great.
"Any questions, Erik?"
"Ja - did you not know I am a navigator?"
It seems Erik simply thought that poling the Hawk was an unusual, rather novel part of a navigator's orientation course - "An interesting course you Brits give us, nicht wahr?"
Then Beags there was LOK (Little Orange K...t) exchange instructor at the Towers - ex Ginos and a super guy actually.
Asked at his arrival interview if there was anything in particular that he should know.
" Hmm, no overflying London, Coventry, Bristol......"
Got his own back on the barracking later by mock screaming that he was fed up.
"Indeed I am fed up to HERE!"
Whilst throwing a perfect "Belsen Old Boys'" salute.
Also later, at a certain well known Phantom Base in Lincolnshire.
Station morning brief on Sept 15th. (I won't mention the year). Station Commander launches off on a BoB W*nkfest about the Cowardly Hun , their pathetic leadership and the triumph of the Fighter pilots that saved the country etc.etc. etc.
Our exchange F4 GAF crew had to sit through all this.
On walking out , one said , very loudly , and in English, to his mate :
" Listening to all that ****, it makes you wonder how we lost!"
Asked at his arrival interview if there was anything in particular that he should know.
" Hmm, no overflying London, Coventry, Bristol......"
Got his own back on the barracking later by mock screaming that he was fed up.
"Indeed I am fed up to HERE!"
Whilst throwing a perfect "Belsen Old Boys'" salute.
Also later, at a certain well known Phantom Base in Lincolnshire.
Station morning brief on Sept 15th. (I won't mention the year). Station Commander launches off on a BoB W*nkfest about the Cowardly Hun , their pathetic leadership and the triumph of the Fighter pilots that saved the country etc.etc. etc.
Our exchange F4 GAF crew had to sit through all this.
On walking out , one said , very loudly , and in English, to his mate :
" Listening to all that ****, it makes you wonder how we lost!"
Last edited by Haraka; 16th Feb 2014 at 17:34.
Following a few beers one night the conversation came around to mishaps.
Apparently during the run up to the first gulf war, the Jags were flying down a valley in wales with the newly fitted sidewinder missiles. A great target to aim for was a farmers greenhouse which seemed to offer a chance of practice firing for said missiles.
On one such flight, the missile left the pylon and embedded itself into the farmers newly grown tomatoes.
Myth or fact.
Maybe some on here will know.
Apparently during the run up to the first gulf war, the Jags were flying down a valley in wales with the newly fitted sidewinder missiles. A great target to aim for was a farmers greenhouse which seemed to offer a chance of practice firing for said missiles.
On one such flight, the missile left the pylon and embedded itself into the farmers newly grown tomatoes.
Myth or fact.
Maybe some on here will know.
This is an old one. 1960s a BEA Viscount landed at Frankfurt and seemed unsure of where to taxi. ATC: BEA iz ziss your furst visit to Frankfurt? BEA Captain: No, I came here in 1943,but I didn't stop! 
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I heard the story about a practise missile falling off a jet and hitting a farm house.
I seem to remember it was in Scotland.
If I remember correctly the RAF had put an advert in a local paper explaining they had lost it and could any one who might have it return it to them.
I also seem to remember someone nicking all the practise (wooden?) tanks that the Harriers used to use for practise in Wales
I seem to remember it was in Scotland.
If I remember correctly the RAF had put an advert in a local paper explaining they had lost it and could any one who might have it return it to them.
I also seem to remember someone nicking all the practise (wooden?) tanks that the Harriers used to use for practise in Wales
Haraka, if memory serves, I think that LOK was still there when I did my JP course? His comment to one of his studes "Ja - you vill find right hand circuits more difficult because you haff to look round mein sqvare Tcherman head!"
He was also a keen rougher shooter and a stickler for getting his English terminology correct.... Come a cocktail party at the Commandant's lodge and Mrs. Commandant asked him how he was enjoying the aerodrome shoot.
"It iss good, Ja! Yesterday ve go shooting and bag several large hares....und a few pubics."
Mrs Commandant, being a real lady, didn't bat an eyelid, but LOK realised he'd been had. His fault really, for asking that mischievous ex-Shacklebomber chap B*n B*nb*w "Vot is the correct English word for ein small hare?"
LOK did see the funny side though....eventually! Splendid chap!
He was also a keen rougher shooter and a stickler for getting his English terminology correct.... Come a cocktail party at the Commandant's lodge and Mrs. Commandant asked him how he was enjoying the aerodrome shoot.
"It iss good, Ja! Yesterday ve go shooting and bag several large hares....und a few pubics."
Mrs Commandant, being a real lady, didn't bat an eyelid, but LOK realised he'd been had. His fault really, for asking that mischievous ex-Shacklebomber chap B*n B*nb*w "Vot is the correct English word for ein small hare?"
LOK did see the funny side though....eventually! Splendid chap!
Purportedly at an army officer training establishment outside Sydney, 1965. CO, RSM and Chaplain all ex-SAS.
RSM's wife has a baby girl. Next morning, the parade ground cannon are painted pink.
RSM, taking parade: "Who painted the cannon pink?"
Voice from back of parade: "It was the work of God."
Believed to be true, but as I wasn't there at the time...
RSM's wife has a baby girl. Next morning, the parade ground cannon are painted pink.
RSM, taking parade: "Who painted the cannon pink?"
Voice from back of parade: "It was the work of God."
Believed to be true, but as I wasn't there at the time...
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Re: German exchange officers, we had a German engineering officer at Marham and on being shown into his office for the first time, discovered a beach towel draped over his chair.
His English was very good but he always carried a dictionary around with him. After I'd written a short "bio" on him in the section's equivalent of Private Eye, he came up to me clutching the dictionary and asked "vas is follically-challenged?" Luckily, he did have a very good sense of humour.
His English was very good but he always carried a dictionary around with him. After I'd written a short "bio" on him in the section's equivalent of Private Eye, he came up to me clutching the dictionary and asked "vas is follically-challenged?" Luckily, he did have a very good sense of humour.
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I heard the story about a practise missile falling off a jet and hitting a farm house.
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Renowned for having the loudest voice in the British Army, Sgt Major Brittain used to address every new intake of Sandhurst officer cadets thus; ''gentlemen, I will address you as sir and you will address me as sir, the only difference being, that when you address me as sir you will bloody well mean it!''
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I seem to remember it was in Scotland.
An OCU Javelin from Leuchars dropped a Firestreak (acquisition round fortunately) which embedded itself neatly in an Old Course fairway.
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Nuther, I remember the tale of that, isn't it still there? The tale I was told was it went in deep and efforts to recover it meant it sank even further, and with the water table as it was it was backfilled and left.
Sorry, Nutloose
Acquisition Firestreak (inadvertently released in lieu of the intended ventral tanks following engine failure) plunged into the twelfth tee but was still recoverable.
I had heard of that story of painting the Cannons pink.
Don't know which unit it would have been.
Don't know which unit it would have been.
OTU Scheyville
As well as training NS, it also trained Army Aviation officer cadets prior to their aviation training.
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"follically-challenged"
Friend of mine worked at a multi national headquarters with a folically challenged German officer who wore a toupee. He was known as Herr Piece.
Friend of mine worked at a multi national headquarters with a folically challenged German officer who wore a toupee. He was known as Herr Piece.
Which is more than 22,303 posts in the caption competition have managed.