Apocryphal Tales
Gentleman Aviator
Is there any truth in the tales of pilots driving v fast down motorways with NVGs on and no headlights?
......... but yes that I definitely know of in an allied country (but RAF aircrew!) in GW 1 days ......................
I certainly know of at least 1 individual from a formerly secret airbase in wiltshire, just outside (Royal) wootton basset on the a3102, who rode down 'dauntsey banks' on NVGs....
Excellent! 
I take it that particular practice would be confined to unlit roads?
Dauntsey bank - that's a nice windy road! many cars end up in the ditch coming down the first descending curve when it gets icy.
I take it that particular practice would be confined to unlit roads?
Dauntsey bank - that's a nice windy road! many cars end up in the ditch coming down the first descending curve when it gets icy.
Gentleman Aviator
I take it that particular practice would be confined to unlit roads?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
His wife was a pax. He switched off the car lights and drove on NVG. Scared her sh1tless.
Not sure if he was shooting a line. If he had been a Harrier pilot I may have believed him. As he was USAF it may well have been true.
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Chap I used to fly with told me how his chum asked him to transport his black lab to Akrotiri for him.
Pal planned to put the dog on his lap and fly himself and the dog there in a Hunter.
Too much trouble with dog in the rather neat fitting cockpit, so tried to put him in some sort of compartment that held black boxes to make all the dials work.
No room, so removed boxes leaving minimal instrumentation.
Tried putting the dog in the new, more spacious compartment, but the mutt went mental when the hatch was closed.
No choice but to fly the dog all the way there on his lap, and both of them mainly looked out the window as there wasn't much else to usefully look at.
He told me a few other stories too.....
Pal planned to put the dog on his lap and fly himself and the dog there in a Hunter.
Too much trouble with dog in the rather neat fitting cockpit, so tried to put him in some sort of compartment that held black boxes to make all the dials work.
No room, so removed boxes leaving minimal instrumentation.
Tried putting the dog in the new, more spacious compartment, but the mutt went mental when the hatch was closed.
No choice but to fly the dog all the way there on his lap, and both of them mainly looked out the window as there wasn't much else to usefully look at.
He told me a few other stories too.....
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Told to me by an ex Canberra pilot many moons ago, but don't know if true..
He had been on detachment and coming back from overseas found the elevator controls on the Canberra to be very heavy, but as he needed to get back he carried on, after landing he noticed the Nav asking the ground crew to unbutton a large panel or open the bomb doors?
Investigating he had found the Nav had purchased a washing machine or the likes and the helpful guys loading it for him at the other end had lashed the box to the elevator control cables, so he had been humping it back and forth all the way back.
He had been on detachment and coming back from overseas found the elevator controls on the Canberra to be very heavy, but as he needed to get back he carried on, after landing he noticed the Nav asking the ground crew to unbutton a large panel or open the bomb doors?
Investigating he had found the Nav had purchased a washing machine or the likes and the helpful guys loading it for him at the other end had lashed the box to the elevator control cables, so he had been humping it back and forth all the way back.
Told to a young 2P on the UAS. Hercules lands to collect a gang of Ghurkhas in some far away part of the Empire. Seems that they march with their rations (goats) on the 'hoof'. Worried about said critters chewing through important bits of Albert there was much waving of a finger in a negative fashion from the loadie. Shortly followed by a bit of squealing and a lot of blood. Rations now fit to board!
And I can't believe no one has mentioned 'Mr Vice the doors" in 7 pages.
Allegedly at LOO Mr Vice had partaken of a sufficiency of the hard stuff and when it came to the loyal toast the doors to the kitchen were still open with much chattering and clattering of pans. The PMC, keen to maintain the dignity of the loyal toast, banged his gavel and shouted "Mr Vice - The Doors". Mr Vice, recognising his cue but not really processing it through the 3 remaining functioning brain cells, staggered to his feet and pronounced "Ladies and Gentlemen - The Doors"
And I can't believe no one has mentioned 'Mr Vice the doors" in 7 pages.
Allegedly at LOO Mr Vice had partaken of a sufficiency of the hard stuff and when it came to the loyal toast the doors to the kitchen were still open with much chattering and clattering of pans. The PMC, keen to maintain the dignity of the loyal toast, banged his gavel and shouted "Mr Vice - The Doors". Mr Vice, recognising his cue but not really processing it through the 3 remaining functioning brain cells, staggered to his feet and pronounced "Ladies and Gentlemen - The Doors"
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"Investigating he had found the Nav had purchased a washing machine or the likes and the helpful guys loading it for him at the other end had lashed the box to the elevator control cables, so he had been humping it back and forth all the way back. "
Fortunately, it was not on a spin cycle!
Perhaps had the aircraft been a Vulcan then it could have been carrying the Nuclear Detergent?
Fortunately, it was not on a spin cycle!
Perhaps had the aircraft been a Vulcan then it could have been carrying the Nuclear Detergent?
Last edited by Wensleydale; 16th Feb 2014 at 13:33.
What about 29 Sqn? I remember being regaled at Halton by our tech instructor about the airman (in the 1920's?) who was told to paint the squadron insignia of "Two exxes,one exx"on the tail of one aircraft. He returned to the line office very pleased after painting three exxes. To this day 29 Sqn carries XXX as it's badge. Does anybody know the why this was accepted?
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Does anybody know the why this was accepted?
According to Wiki the three XXX refer to the brewer's standard for beer!
From Wiki
It seems probable that the original adoption of "XXX" for the 1930s squadron marking was nothing to do with Roman numerals, but was a reference to the brewers mark for "extra strong", frequently applied to kegs of beer, and that it is only a coincidence that this resembles the numeral for "29" (XXIX).[7] It should be noted that the use of Roman numerals for numbering RAF units is a relatively modern development – in any case it was certainly not the practice in the RAF in the 1920s. Nor, so far as it is known, has 29 squadron ever been officially referred to as "XXX squadron" – or as "XXIX squadron" for that matter.
Twenty nine's XXX's
OA&T. That's an old legend and without foundation. The red X's never were Roman Numerals, just a pattern for squadron recognition bands across the wings and along the fuselage .Indeed variations on the fuselage alone range from four X's ( Grebe), three X's (Siskin) down to two X's ( Demon)
The three X's adopted post war were just to fit nicely in to the standard band size either side of the roundel.
(I was first told the story just prior to having a trip in a 29Sqn Lightning two-seater ( Zebedee) at Luqa in 1969)
The three X's adopted post war were just to fit nicely in to the standard band size either side of the roundel.
(I was first told the story just prior to having a trip in a 29Sqn Lightning two-seater ( Zebedee) at Luqa in 1969)
Last edited by Haraka; 16th Feb 2014 at 14:30.
Tetteringhead:
I heard it happened on the M11, took a combined police team to catch them, rumoured to be from Coningsby.
I heard it happened on the M11, took a combined police team to catch them, rumoured to be from Coningsby.
There were of course 2 successive Dining Nights at the Towers in the early 60s when the AsCom's staff car (Standard Vanguard?) was hijacked by cadet(s). Second time it was ISTR written off by a future Director of the RAF Regt.
A similar vehicle also made it through the doors into the Rotunda
A similar vehicle also made it through the doors into the Rotunda
..and the numerous items that appeared as the dawn broke over the Towers parade squares, ranging from a Hawker Hunter to a Flight Cadet fast asleep- in his bed with all the associated furniture in place.
Dozing off in a Vulcan...
....Had a similar tale relayed to me by a Victor captain, on a trip to Goose Bay. He woke up after dozing off in the middle of the Atlantic, to find that he was the only one awake too....
Then there was the Vulcan going West across the pond when one of the Navs got knocked unconscious ( allegedly by a falling chart table).
A diversion in to Keflavik was initiated and the Nav bundled off to hospital.
The following morning the Captain was shown the Hospital's medical report on the Nav.
Among the findings one comment stood out.
" Skull X-Rayed - Nil seen"
This one was told to me by the late Rick Heselwood ( 101 Sqn) in the early 70's
A diversion in to Keflavik was initiated and the Nav bundled off to hospital.
The following morning the Captain was shown the Hospital's medical report on the Nav.
Among the findings one comment stood out.
" Skull X-Rayed - Nil seen"
This one was told to me by the late Rick Heselwood ( 101 Sqn) in the early 70's
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Talking about brains.
There was an airman on 431 MU who was noted as a "skiver" everytime something was on, exercise etc, he moaned about a headache and trotted off to the Med Section, each time the MO gave him aspirin and sent him back I am lead to believe... Time passes as this young lad was coming out, a job was lined up in Holland and a medical was required so the Company sends him to a private hospital for a scan etc, that is where they found the tumour about the size of a Ping pong ball pressing under his brain.
He was instantly admitted and RAF Bruggen informed, the RAF baulking at the bill sends the MO to see if he can be flown home to NHS / RAF care, walking into his private room, colour TV, fresh flowers etc, the sheepish MO asks how he feels, fine is the reply, obviously feeling some guilt the MO asks again explaining normal NHS ward etc, back to UK, how do you feel? Lousy comes the reply, unfit to travel etc etc. Dutch pop out front skull plate, drain the tumour, allow to shrivel then go in and remove it...
Weeks later he is back at work with now a big U shaped scar and two indents where they drilled to pop out the plate, total recovery and a lot of guilty feeling individuals over it all, he made a total recovery and I believe got the job.
There was an airman on 431 MU who was noted as a "skiver" everytime something was on, exercise etc, he moaned about a headache and trotted off to the Med Section, each time the MO gave him aspirin and sent him back I am lead to believe... Time passes as this young lad was coming out, a job was lined up in Holland and a medical was required so the Company sends him to a private hospital for a scan etc, that is where they found the tumour about the size of a Ping pong ball pressing under his brain.
He was instantly admitted and RAF Bruggen informed, the RAF baulking at the bill sends the MO to see if he can be flown home to NHS / RAF care, walking into his private room, colour TV, fresh flowers etc, the sheepish MO asks how he feels, fine is the reply, obviously feeling some guilt the MO asks again explaining normal NHS ward etc, back to UK, how do you feel? Lousy comes the reply, unfit to travel etc etc. Dutch pop out front skull plate, drain the tumour, allow to shrivel then go in and remove it...
Weeks later he is back at work with now a big U shaped scar and two indents where they drilled to pop out the plate, total recovery and a lot of guilty feeling individuals over it all, he made a total recovery and I believe got the job.
"There were of course 2 successive Dining Nights at the Towers in the early 60s when the AsCom's staff car (Standard Vanguard?) was hijacked by cadet(s).
I was present one one of these occasions. We carried the car into the Rotunda, with about an inch of clearance each side. Ascom (Al Deere) saw it, did a 3 point turn and let it rip. The carpet shot backwards, piling up against the pillars at the back, then the tyres bit. Big squeal of rubber, and he went out through the doors without touching the sides. He then went down onto the Parade Ground without touching the steps, at which point the car died.
Next morning's Ascom's parade ,tatty old mark 1 Vanguard staggered in through the gates, around the Orange, and A D got out to take the parade. The M.T.O. had dug this heap out , apparently on the basis that it was already struck off charge and it didn't matter what A D did to it.
I was present one one of these occasions. We carried the car into the Rotunda, with about an inch of clearance each side. Ascom (Al Deere) saw it, did a 3 point turn and let it rip. The carpet shot backwards, piling up against the pillars at the back, then the tyres bit. Big squeal of rubber, and he went out through the doors without touching the sides. He then went down onto the Parade Ground without touching the steps, at which point the car died.
Next morning's Ascom's parade ,tatty old mark 1 Vanguard staggered in through the gates, around the Orange, and A D got out to take the parade. The M.T.O. had dug this heap out , apparently on the basis that it was already struck off charge and it didn't matter what A D did to it.