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Old 15th Jul 2011, 17:41
  #11501 (permalink)  
 
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The female Spetznaz operative was just waiting her chance to demonstrate the simple way of disabling an armed Male opponent.
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Old 15th Jul 2011, 18:07
  #11502 (permalink)  
 
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Are you sure this is how your mum taught you to tie a dicky-di-do?
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Old 15th Jul 2011, 18:45
  #11503 (permalink)  
 
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A member of the Womens Royal Army Corp demonstrating during a weapons search how it is possible to conceal in the crack of her buttocks, a clip of 9mm rounds................................... two 105mm howitzer shells, four 16 inch naval shells and the bass-baritone section of the Welsh National male colliery choir.

Or

Able Seaman Scroggins, having joined the Navy having been seduced by the recruitment poster "Join the Navy and feel a Man" is dissapointed to find in training, that it is far from the truth.
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Old 15th Jul 2011, 18:59
  #11504 (permalink)  
 
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"Search all you like mate, but you won't find a Busted Hyman in there, he is way back still on the 3rd green".....





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Old 15th Jul 2011, 19:48
  #11505 (permalink)  
Red On, Green On
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It was all going so well until Corporal Jones realised that was the week the decorators were in.
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Old 15th Jul 2011, 21:35
  #11506 (permalink)  
 
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"Whoaaa.. this feels like a... GET A HAIRCUT YOUNG MAN !!"
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Old 15th Jul 2011, 22:06
  #11507 (permalink)  
 
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"Before you get any higher, can I ask if you have seen the film, 'The Crying Game'?"
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Old 15th Jul 2011, 22:38
  #11508 (permalink)  
 
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"Found it!! There's a huge split - someone pass me that puncture repair kit..."
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 01:08
  #11509 (permalink)  

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Pvt. Nutloostein was glad he'd volunteered for the Kibbutz security detail...he'd always wanted to see the Promised land...
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 04:44
  #11510 (permalink)  
 
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1/ "Found anything"

2/ "yes I think it is a small man in a canoe"

1/ "sure its not a rowing boat"

2/ "why split hairs !!! "
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 10:04
  #11511 (permalink)  
 
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"This camoflage is rubbish. Everyone can see me hiding behind a bush."

Last edited by Runaway Gun; 16th Jul 2011 at 10:05. Reason: I carnt spell
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 10:36
  #11512 (permalink)  
 
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You still can't spell!! CAMOUFLAGE
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 10:57
  #11513 (permalink)  
 
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'Now then, let's tuck this out of the way, eh? Wouldn't want you pulling the wrong piece of string now, would we?

Right, so let's practice this one more time:

"One thousand and one... one thousand and two... one thousand and three... ...and PULL CORD!!"'


An embarrassing disaster at the village charity parachute jump was narrowly averted
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 11:22
  #11514 (permalink)  

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"If it helps darling...I am thinking of England!"
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 11:50
  #11515 (permalink)  
 
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Not long now lads - just a few more psi, the head will come up and she'll be ready for action.
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 14:38
  #11516 (permalink)  
 
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Not long now lads - just a few more psi, the head will come up and she'll be ready for action.
Or should that be...

"Not long now lads - just a few more psi, the head will come up and he'll be ready for action. "



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Old 16th Jul 2011, 16:03
  #11517 (permalink)  
 
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Now then, all together - "One red one, one white one and......"
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 16:45
  #11518 (permalink)  
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Trooper Bloggs wasn't used to carrying out close target recces in broad daylight.
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 17:52
  #11519 (permalink)  
 
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Laugh at him would they? When the rest of his squad turned up Corporal Bloggs was going to order the full strip search with an*l probe for the rest of the queue.
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Old 16th Jul 2011, 18:31
  #11520 (permalink)  
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Had finally located the source of the tuna fish like odour.
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