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Caption competition

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Old 12th Jul 2016, 12:52
  #36781 (permalink)  
 
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"Could you also fill up "Rover" my skate powered guide dog please"

"err he's just off chasing "Jaguar" next doors skate powered cat sir..he'll be back in a 'mo sir as its unlikely Rover will catch Jaguar"

"oh that's Ok then"
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 13:10
  #36782 (permalink)  
 
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Big watch .... Check.... Ray-bans....Check.... Looks like a total c*ck..... Check..... Ok ready to taxy.
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 13:12
  #36783 (permalink)  
 
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So I will just put some lead in your propelling pencil.
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 13:12
  #36784 (permalink)  

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Wait...what the...man, that's my colostomy bag you idiot!
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 13:14
  #36785 (permalink)  
 
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"So who's the guy spread all over the back of that car?"

"Oooh him, he was your predecessor"
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 13:18
  #36786 (permalink)  

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Originally Posted by NutLoose
"So who's the guy spread all over the back of that car?"

"Oooh him, he was your predecessor"
Well, at least I'll have somewhere to park my bicycle.
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 14:02
  #36787 (permalink)  
622
 
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'Oh, and by the way Sir - I think you have had an oil leak down the back of your trousers!'


'...That's not oil mate, you try riding these on the M25 at rush hour!'
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 15:22
  #36788 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Check my water and clean glasses too
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 15:24
  #36789 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Certainly Sir, the Latvian car washers can get your trousers cleaned and wheels polished while you wait.
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 21:02
  #36790 (permalink)  
 
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"The only drawback is that I don't think my Suffolk Punch will ever be the same again."
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 21:26
  #36791 (permalink)  
 
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"I'm on my way to register it at the DVLA. They said they needed to see my VIN, so I've brought a case."
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 22:22
  #36792 (permalink)  

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I know I can't officially enter, but:

"Well, it started off as a painful hump until my wife accidentally massaged it with 20W/50 instead of liniment then we thought - what the hell, may as well make use of it!"
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Old 12th Jul 2016, 22:44
  #36793 (permalink)  
 
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"My wife says I can use her heated rollers in the winter."
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 00:03
  #36794 (permalink)  
 
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Sorry that your self-starter doesn't work, sir, but I am not going to give you a hand-crank!
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 00:56
  #36795 (permalink)  
 
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Ascend Charlie, In my Younger Years...you would have to had been very careful my Crank did not kick back and break your arm!

(Notice to all....that is a caption....not an assertion!)
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 03:21
  #36796 (permalink)  

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The FBI went to great lengths to capture Tonya Harding.
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 08:32
  #36797 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Well Archie, this model works well, but they haven't figured out the tandem yet.
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 09:08
  #36798 (permalink)  
 
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You'll have a job to outpace the modern fully-equipped Jehova's Witness!
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 09:32
  #36799 (permalink)  
 
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Having raced the Veyron against a Typhoon, Top Gear prepare for a re run against the mighty Jaguar.
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Old 13th Jul 2016, 09:46
  #36800 (permalink)  
 
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"I am a Terminator from 2016, sent back to eliminate Donald Trump!"

"Yeah? Have another gallon on me!"
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