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Old 1st Jun 2016, 06:41
  #35861 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Sorry, went base over apex
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 07:15
  #35862 (permalink)  

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Cheers mate. Everything I had was too big to get that wax out of my ear...
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 07:55
  #35863 (permalink)  
 
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"No, I said get down on your knees and fire the Schmeisser!"
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 17:59
  #35864 (permalink)  
 
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Setting a match to a fart is for wimps - real men do it with tracer!
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 18:12
  #35865 (permalink)  
 
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"I have no live rounds or range produce in my possession, Sah!"
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 19:38
  #35866 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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I meant pull the cocking lever not lever my f^ck cock.
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 20:31
  #35867 (permalink)  
 
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No I won't pull your finger, just pull the effing trigger!
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Old 1st Jun 2016, 20:37
  #35868 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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"Stop it - you're tickling me !"
 
Old 2nd Jun 2016, 08:17
  #35869 (permalink)  
 
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OK, I think we've pretty much bottomed out on this, so last change to let one go - I'll pick off a winner in a wee while!


Thought For The Day
_Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but
_give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 09:13
  #35870 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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"Much more of this, and we'll have to get married !"
 
Old 2nd Jun 2016, 10:34
  #35871 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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They'll think you're praying
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 11:24
  #35872 (permalink)  

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Is it 32 to the left or 32 to the right???
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 13:29
  #35873 (permalink)  
 
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In times of war, men are often forced to do terrible things........
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 13:32
  #35874 (permalink)  
 
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When Pvt. Smith was subsequently wounded by the enemy's counterfire, surgeons could not locate the entry wound.
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 13:40
  #35875 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by WeeJeem

Thought For The Day
_Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but
_give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

I prefer:

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day.
Give him a fishing rod and you'll feed him for a decade.
Give him a credit card and you'll get 78.8% of his accumulating debt as income for the rest of his life...

PDR
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 13:43
  #35876 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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Is it a Tableau Vivant of Yin and Yang to entertain the troops ?




Last edited by Danny42C; 2nd Jun 2016 at 13:46. Reason: Add a few words.
 
Old 2nd Jun 2016, 13:47
  #35877 (permalink)  
 
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"And he is doubly useful, when you clear your weapon, you have an ideal hole to fire off the action into"
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 14:19
  #35878 (permalink)  
 
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As ever, lot of very funny answers, so well done all - had me laughing right up to the biter end.

Now that we all know our top receivers from our bottom receivers, we can confirm Honourable Discharges from Wensleydale and Buster for
Originally Posted by Wensleydale
No - I said 'Cock, Hook and Look'....not 'suck'.
and
Originally Posted by Buster Hyman
Lets be honest...you've seen me in worse positions....
The winner, putting it right up auntie, is - err, stby 1, err was, repeat was - going to be Traffic with
Originally Posted by Traffic_Is_Er_Was
"Biped, rifle, for the supporting of." How one simple typo changed the careers of thousands of soldiers.
until Danny's extra-time snapshot had me spraying coffee into my keyboard with
Originally Posted by Danny42C
Is it a Tableau Vivant of Yin and Yang to entertain the troops ?

Well played, Danny!!! You have control


Wife: "Is that an 'o' or an 'i', dear?" (pointing at letter she's reading)
Husband: "It's an 'o', dear."
Wife: "Oh, my God! My brother's shot himself!"
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 14:33
  #35879 (permalink)  
 
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Well played Danny
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Old 2nd Jun 2016, 14:50
  #35880 (permalink)  
 
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Good one Danny
Wander00 is offline  


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