AAC 50th birthday, looking for 50 cracking good stories
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Bosnia 96. Flying around above the snowcovered landscape to see a person gesticulating to us from a track surrounded by woods. Not having anywhere to land and being concerned that he may be in touble or wish to convey important info to the brave men of IFOR I decided to head for a nearby British outpost. Did all the good stuff before landing and then briefed the doorgunner A/Tpr Lilley (if my memory serves me) to wade through the snow and pass on what we had witnessed so that it could be further investigated. Sat there with the Kev Allan and watched him struggle through the knee high snow, brief the troops and return to the aircraft tracing his outbound footsteps. Oh how we laughed, having failed to dress for the outside environment and put his gaiters on he was obviously trying to lessen the soaking his trousers were getting. Lilley arrives at the aircraft, climbs aboard, shuts door plugs in and announces "They said we're in a minefield!" 
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Lured into a trap by Mick Thompson....Twice!!
1. At MW doing Basic Rotary, the Crabs are having their annual attempt at marching and doing military stuff with the Battle of Britain Memorial just in front of flying wing. "Have you seen what's happening outside?" enquires Mick. thinking that something out of the ordinary had happened a number of us stand up amd peer out of the window, only for Thompson to hammer on it and disappear through the door into the hangar (and out of sight) faster than an escapie from the WRAC block when it got raided!
2. Still on Pilots course but now down at 'Mountbatten' doing the sea survival stuff. Enjoying a beer in downtown Plymouth at a place that was a converted bank. Sat up on a mezanine (?) level on a very busy night Mick calls out "Have you seen the fanny in the corner?" Instantly we all stand up and push our heads through/over the decorative foliage to peer towards the corner, just as he has lets loose from behind us with a generous handful of the stones from the hydroponic plant pots. He's out of the building before they reach their target with the stacato sound of a firecracker. We joined him swiftly before we could get lynched by the customers in the target area!
1. At MW doing Basic Rotary, the Crabs are having their annual attempt at marching and doing military stuff with the Battle of Britain Memorial just in front of flying wing. "Have you seen what's happening outside?" enquires Mick. thinking that something out of the ordinary had happened a number of us stand up amd peer out of the window, only for Thompson to hammer on it and disappear through the door into the hangar (and out of sight) faster than an escapie from the WRAC block when it got raided!
2. Still on Pilots course but now down at 'Mountbatten' doing the sea survival stuff. Enjoying a beer in downtown Plymouth at a place that was a converted bank. Sat up on a mezanine (?) level on a very busy night Mick calls out "Have you seen the fanny in the corner?" Instantly we all stand up and push our heads through/over the decorative foliage to peer towards the corner, just as he has lets loose from behind us with a generous handful of the stones from the hydroponic plant pots. He's out of the building before they reach their target with the stacato sound of a firecracker. We joined him swiftly before we could get lynched by the customers in the target area!
2 stories that were before my time relating to Soest but still spoken of.
The Sioux left in a field at endex and not noticed as missing until return to base.
The pilot on his last army flight who ended up in a Scout to tower discussion at 12 inch blade tip clearance with the OC who objected to his flying through the lights on top of the hangar.
anybody confirm either of the above?
The Sioux left in a field at endex and not noticed as missing until return to base.
The pilot on his last army flight who ended up in a Scout to tower discussion at 12 inch blade tip clearance with the OC who objected to his flying through the lights on top of the hangar.
anybody confirm either of the above?
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Deepest darkest Germany on some exercise or another again early eighties with 653 Sqn. Can't remember who it was but some trooper trotts of for a shovel recce (after foolishly announcing to all present). Lightning exchange of glances and off go two deviants and follow him (all at night). Said trooper find suitable tree to hold on to (you all know the position), drops trousers and proceeds to do the business. Unbeknown to him the deviants have spotted his secret place and have crept up silently behind and place shovel under dropping zone. Deed done, shovel withdrawn, trooper checks for quality of deed and panicks..turd no-where to be seen. Checks trousers..boots...etc. The face on him when he came back was priceless but he didn't say a word which made it even funnier.
Letsby: I remember a bloke called Stu (653sqn. can't remember surname) peeing into the front of his NBC suit in the same way, brilliant
Rick
Letsby: I remember a bloke called Stu (653sqn. can't remember surname) peeing into the front of his NBC suit in the same way, brilliant
Rick
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Sitrep
[SITREP 18:00 LOCAL]
.... got as far as post #62 ... tears in eyes ... uncontrolled giggling. Will have to calm down before leaving my office!
Keep 'em coming lads - BRILLIANT!
.... got as far as post #62 ... tears in eyes ... uncontrolled giggling. Will have to calm down before leaving my office!
Keep 'em coming lads - BRILLIANT!
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Friend is on leave in the UK and gets so pissed at the club in Hereford that he fails to wake up in time on the Sunday morning.
No worries says his mate I fly you back in my Scout.
All going well at this point right up until on the return trip flying through Holland the helicopter goes tech.
The names of those involved will remain secret to protect the guilty.
Explaining why the helicopter was in Holland and not working must have been a tad tricky.
No worries says his mate I fly you back in my Scout.
All going well at this point right up until on the return trip flying through Holland the helicopter goes tech.
The names of those involved will remain secret to protect the guilty.
Explaining why the helicopter was in Holland and not working must have been a tad tricky.
Join Date: Oct 2010
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extra flying pay
There is no truth in the rumour that I picked up a German farmer instead of the Brigadier at San Sebastian in 1974 and gave him a FREE ride...
HE PAID ME FOR THE TRIP
Sorry about that Spencer but I was saving for my new BMW.
HE PAID ME FOR THE TRIP
Sorry about that Spencer but I was saving for my new BMW.
669 Sqn in the field, one autumn, Lynx Flt led by WO2 Mac Burns, Gazelle Flt under the 'supervision' of an officer. It's cold and dark and Gaz Flt are huddled around a single hexy cooker, struggling to keep warm. Ian White steps out of his luxury 9x9 to complain about the lack of tactical awareness among us, and promptly drops the contents of his mug on our hexy-telly.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the clearing, Lynx Flt can be seen, silhouetted by the light of a huge bonfire...........
Meanwhile, on the other side of the clearing, Lynx Flt can be seen, silhouetted by the light of a huge bonfire...........
Join Date: Jul 2005
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Only 50!!!
Night flying exercise for 3 Flt in the wilds of North Yorkshire late '84.
All 3 A/C out with YT as OC night teamed up with IM (small furry rodent) as crew out last. Gin clear night with brilliant hunters moon. Not much point going as you could virtually 'see' all the turning points! But those were the gud 'ol days when we weren't worried about flying hours/costs etc.
Having completed all points west, started transiting east towards Sutton bank at 1500' and working 'Crab Air' at Linton. Quiet night air traffic wise but didn't mind as the 'lumpy jumper' at Linton was a bit of a honey! Anyway, whether she was bored or just trying to be helpful.....she sent a transmission;-
Lumpy jumper - Army 354 got an intermittant contact, slow moving, north to south about 2 NM ahead. It may be a train.
Me (in best serious & concerned for my safety voice) - Army 354 roger - (pause) - visual the train - (pause) - should pass underneath.
Lumpy jumper (amid echoy laughter from Linton night crew) -.......Er....roger.
Mouse in hysterics, and that was the last she spoke to us all night!
Earlier post about 'The Klink' reminded me of the time exercising with 656 in Otterburn late 70's. When getting seated in a scout, Bill S had a habit of bracing his back on the seat, feet on the pedals and 'adjusting' himself before doing up the harness. Out in the sticks and Bill jumps in to start and 'CRACK'.... snaps off right yaw pedal!
Lots of muttering and expletives follow! No duals & no spares either. 'No problems' said Klink, 'I'll take it back'...............WOT!
And he did..... all the way to Farnboro with 1 pedal and a 2" stub!
Couldn't posssibly talk about flying in S. Georgia with Stephanovich, Thompson et al. Maybe save that for another day
aaaah memories!.............Where did the good times go?
All 3 A/C out with YT as OC night teamed up with IM (small furry rodent) as crew out last. Gin clear night with brilliant hunters moon. Not much point going as you could virtually 'see' all the turning points! But those were the gud 'ol days when we weren't worried about flying hours/costs etc.
Having completed all points west, started transiting east towards Sutton bank at 1500' and working 'Crab Air' at Linton. Quiet night air traffic wise but didn't mind as the 'lumpy jumper' at Linton was a bit of a honey! Anyway, whether she was bored or just trying to be helpful.....she sent a transmission;-
Lumpy jumper - Army 354 got an intermittant contact, slow moving, north to south about 2 NM ahead. It may be a train.
Me (in best serious & concerned for my safety voice) - Army 354 roger - (pause) - visual the train - (pause) - should pass underneath.
Lumpy jumper (amid echoy laughter from Linton night crew) -.......Er....roger.
Mouse in hysterics, and that was the last she spoke to us all night!
Earlier post about 'The Klink' reminded me of the time exercising with 656 in Otterburn late 70's. When getting seated in a scout, Bill S had a habit of bracing his back on the seat, feet on the pedals and 'adjusting' himself before doing up the harness. Out in the sticks and Bill jumps in to start and 'CRACK'.... snaps off right yaw pedal!
Lots of muttering and expletives follow! No duals & no spares either. 'No problems' said Klink, 'I'll take it back'...............WOT!And he did..... all the way to Farnboro with 1 pedal and a 2" stub!
Couldn't posssibly talk about flying in S. Georgia with Stephanovich, Thompson et al. Maybe save that for another day
aaaah memories!.............Where did the good times go?
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Friendly Fire or Russian Roulette?
8 Indep. Recce. Flt. Serengeti 63-'64
I was refuelling one of our Alouettes after an early morning sortie looking for poachers, and noticed a white splodge on the underside of one of the blades, thinking that bird droppings were usually on the top of the blades I went over to find that it was daylight I could see! There was a nice neat hole just aft of the main spar and the angle of entry and exit left no doubt where the shot had originated!
It turned out that the game warden in the back had loosed off at a gang of poachers they had come across,not realising he was firing through the rotor disc when they were banking around them. I've often speculated on the odds involved, and how lucky they were!
I was refuelling one of our Alouettes after an early morning sortie looking for poachers, and noticed a white splodge on the underside of one of the blades, thinking that bird droppings were usually on the top of the blades I went over to find that it was daylight I could see! There was a nice neat hole just aft of the main spar and the angle of entry and exit left no doubt where the shot had originated!
It turned out that the game warden in the back had loosed off at a gang of poachers they had come across,not realising he was firing through the rotor disc when they were banking around them. I've often speculated on the odds involved, and how lucky they were!
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651 Sqn Verden 1970 a PR excercise to show how we really loved the Signals Regiment we lived with.
Was it possible to get their latest highly secret aerial to the top of the tower near the barrack gate ?
No probs !!
In a moment of madness I voluntered to be strapped face down on the side pod to guide the pilot.
Few dummy runs and we were away !!
Over the top of the tower, no load swing.
This is a doddle !!
Then an over eager Signals Sergeant leaned out from the railings and grabbed the aerial.
He was desperately clinging on to his new toy connecting him to 3000 pounds of Sioux in a very dodgy hover a few feet above his head to a 300 foot metal tower !!
“Drop load - go left !!”
Aerial and strop tumbled in slow motion to the “pave” below
.......yes it did cost a bloody fortune in beers in the Sqn Bar that night !!
Was it possible to get their latest highly secret aerial to the top of the tower near the barrack gate ?
No probs !!
In a moment of madness I voluntered to be strapped face down on the side pod to guide the pilot.
Few dummy runs and we were away !!
Over the top of the tower, no load swing.
This is a doddle !!
Then an over eager Signals Sergeant leaned out from the railings and grabbed the aerial.
He was desperately clinging on to his new toy connecting him to 3000 pounds of Sioux in a very dodgy hover a few feet above his head to a 300 foot metal tower !!
“Drop load - go left !!”
Aerial and strop tumbled in slow motion to the “pave” below
.......yes it did cost a bloody fortune in beers in the Sqn Bar that night !!
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Kenya 1985. Gazelle pilot flying solo back to Nanyuki spots a buffalo skeleton in the bush with magnificent horns that would look just dandy behind the Squadron bar back in UK. Looks for a place to land and finds a small clearing 50m west of the skeleton. Lands shuts down.
Bush is about 10 feet high but he thinks he can find the buffalo so walks east through the bush and sure enough there it is. Picks up horns and walks west back towards helicopter. 50 metres later - no helicopter. Walks back east 50 metres to buffalo - no buffalo. First signs of panic set it. Keep calm. Sit down and think first - then panic.
Fortunately the African bush is fairly quiet during the day and even more fortuitously a cooling Astazou makes a noticeable pinging noise that can be heard 50 metres away.
Could have been ugly.
Bush is about 10 feet high but he thinks he can find the buffalo so walks east through the bush and sure enough there it is. Picks up horns and walks west back towards helicopter. 50 metres later - no helicopter. Walks back east 50 metres to buffalo - no buffalo. First signs of panic set it. Keep calm. Sit down and think first - then panic.
Fortunately the African bush is fairly quiet during the day and even more fortuitously a cooling Astazou makes a noticeable pinging noise that can be heard 50 metres away.
Could have been ugly.
.
This was during the first Army Air Corps (1942-1957) when my godfather (Col. Bob Smith) was flying Field Marshall (Viscount) Montgomery to attend an inspection of kilt-wearing guards. Evidently 'Monty' was a stickler for punctuality and wanted to arrive on location at the precisely appointed time.
My godfather and the Field Marshall had made good speed (I shall have to ascertain which aircraft was used) so that they arrived some minutes early. Monty then told Bob to 'wait a few minutes' whereupon my godfather decided to hover behind a small tree line a short distance from the parade ground. During the animated discussion between Monty and my godfather the 'appointed time' came and went so that they were now one minute late!
In his best effort to minimise any further delay my godfather expedited a transition towards the parade ground resulting in a mini quick-stop-and-flare the effect of which was to expose Monty to the strapping manliness of a good number of the guards!
~
On a seperate occasion my godfather was caught red-handed in his mess kit on his hands and knees removing the toilet seat from a lavatory which had been specifically constructed for a visit by HM.
Knowing the prankster my godfather was, his CO collaborated with his seniors in forming a hoax court martial during which he was asked "and what exactly was your intention with this item of Her Majesty's property" and to which my godfather explained "I had wanted to hang it in the Officer's Mess with the inscription "Queen Elizabeth sat here .. or words to that effect Sir!".
Some of the older boys may recall these (and other) stories relating to the Colonel.
S.
This was during the first Army Air Corps (1942-1957) when my godfather (Col. Bob Smith) was flying Field Marshall (Viscount) Montgomery to attend an inspection of kilt-wearing guards. Evidently 'Monty' was a stickler for punctuality and wanted to arrive on location at the precisely appointed time.
My godfather and the Field Marshall had made good speed (I shall have to ascertain which aircraft was used) so that they arrived some minutes early. Monty then told Bob to 'wait a few minutes' whereupon my godfather decided to hover behind a small tree line a short distance from the parade ground. During the animated discussion between Monty and my godfather the 'appointed time' came and went so that they were now one minute late!
In his best effort to minimise any further delay my godfather expedited a transition towards the parade ground resulting in a mini quick-stop-and-flare the effect of which was to expose Monty to the strapping manliness of a good number of the guards!
~
On a seperate occasion my godfather was caught red-handed in his mess kit on his hands and knees removing the toilet seat from a lavatory which had been specifically constructed for a visit by HM.
Knowing the prankster my godfather was, his CO collaborated with his seniors in forming a hoax court martial during which he was asked "and what exactly was your intention with this item of Her Majesty's property" and to which my godfather explained "I had wanted to hang it in the Officer's Mess with the inscription "Queen Elizabeth sat here .. or words to that effect Sir!".
Some of the older boys may recall these (and other) stories relating to the Colonel.
S.
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Falklands 1983. Two Scouts depart Port Stanley for somewhere on West Falkland. One piloted by Sqn QHI WO2 Bill C the other by some gullible young Sgt. Bill says - 'Bet I can beat you there if I go via the longer route'. Sgt says - 'You're on'.
Weather awful, low cloud and poor vis but just flyable. 10 minutes later Sgt Gullible calls Bill -'What's the weather like where you are?' Bill replies 'Nay problem laddie - I'm VFR on top at 1500 feet - gin clear up here'.
10 minutes later another call 'Bill - I am at 4000 feet climbing and still in cloud'
Sounds of giggling 'Ayyyeee laddie - I got you there! - See you back in Stanley!'
Weather awful, low cloud and poor vis but just flyable. 10 minutes later Sgt Gullible calls Bill -'What's the weather like where you are?' Bill replies 'Nay problem laddie - I'm VFR on top at 1500 feet - gin clear up here'.
10 minutes later another call 'Bill - I am at 4000 feet climbing and still in cloud'
Sounds of giggling 'Ayyyeee laddie - I got you there! - See you back in Stanley!'