what's the most stupid thing a passenger has done?
what's the most stupid thing a passenger has done?
I had one die mid-sector; that's pretty daft!
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doing a spot of tourism one day - a blisteringly hairy armippeted do-gooder from down south rejoined my usual patter about the scenery the aboriginal history etc with a - "yes but we owe them lots" !!!!
Another day a verrrrry swish fair lady dropped a verrry expensive earing on the floor which promplty rolled out into 200' of crocodile infested water from 800'.
The best I have seen i think is one day two of us were mustering years ago. early eighties it was, - mate calls up very excited - "well fair dainkum come and have a look at this, this stupid bastard (his middle aged pax) has threatened to spew, so I tells him, you spew - you clean"
I get - over there - shortly, there he is the pax, sitting up fat dumb and a stupid look on his face, just like he had when we took off at daylight.
'what's the deal?' says I.
Well - mate says, it's too late he's already gone through the white, grey, green, spectrum, decides he HAS to spew - pulls his hat orff and chunders into it then being pretty dumb and not knowing what to do with the hat - like - yeah like puts it back on-- little dribbles of spew coming down past his temples, I could then see.
I left
Another day a verrrrry swish fair lady dropped a verrry expensive earing on the floor which promplty rolled out into 200' of crocodile infested water from 800'.
The best I have seen i think is one day two of us were mustering years ago. early eighties it was, - mate calls up very excited - "well fair dainkum come and have a look at this, this stupid bastard (his middle aged pax) has threatened to spew, so I tells him, you spew - you clean"
I get - over there - shortly, there he is the pax, sitting up fat dumb and a stupid look on his face, just like he had when we took off at daylight.
'what's the deal?' says I.
Well - mate says, it's too late he's already gone through the white, grey, green, spectrum, decides he HAS to spew - pulls his hat orff and chunders into it then being pretty dumb and not knowing what to do with the hat - like - yeah like puts it back on-- little dribbles of spew coming down past his temples, I could then see.
I left
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De Guzman, a Bre-X geologist, died in March last year when he fell from a helicopter while he was on his way to Busang in Indonesia's East Kalimantan province (AMM, March 25, 1997).
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santa
many moons ago, flying in Canada, the company only had bell 47's, one of the pilots was tasked to take Santa to a shopping Mall where a gaggle of kids were waiting in anticipation to meet Santa.
Santa arrived at the base and was given instructions on how to leave the helicopter rotors turning as it had to leave for another task.
After many dry runs and words of advice because of his 6ft 4 inch stature,the 47 flapped towards the Mall. (I was not the pilot).
They landed in a large carpark close to where the children and mothers were waiting, now full of excitement seeing Santa duck out of his red and white flying machine.
He walked out to the edge of the disk, and with great gusto, threw his arm in the air and with a ho ho ho the blade took his hand off at the wrist and deposited it into the crowd of now screaming children and fainting mothers
Santa arrived at the base and was given instructions on how to leave the helicopter rotors turning as it had to leave for another task.
After many dry runs and words of advice because of his 6ft 4 inch stature,the 47 flapped towards the Mall. (I was not the pilot).
They landed in a large carpark close to where the children and mothers were waiting, now full of excitement seeing Santa duck out of his red and white flying machine.
He walked out to the edge of the disk, and with great gusto, threw his arm in the air and with a ho ho ho the blade took his hand off at the wrist and deposited it into the crowd of now screaming children and fainting mothers
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There's the tale of the passenger who exited the 206 with the blades turning. The pilot forgot to tell her not to walk up the hill right next to the helicopter. She walked right into the blades.
Darn 212man....I knew you scared folks with your flying but I never guessed it was that bad!
Question....did you amend the Mass and Balance documentation to reflect cargo in a pax seat? Also...how did you get around the prohibition on having cargo in the passenger compartment? Surely, there was a Hazmat issue to be addressed as well?
Errrrr....radio calls....POB change without landing....that must have drove the PHC Airwork crazy!
Question....did you amend the Mass and Balance documentation to reflect cargo in a pax seat? Also...how did you get around the prohibition on having cargo in the passenger compartment? Surely, there was a Hazmat issue to be addressed as well?
Errrrr....radio calls....POB change without landing....that must have drove the PHC Airwork crazy!
Nigerian In Law
Hong Kong, late 80's. Flying a Scout (doors off as usual), with Gurkhas abseiling on a FIBUA (Fighting In Built Up Area) exercise.
Four of them jumped off, two at a time each side as planned. I flew away and as I turned I saw them all lying on the ground motionless.
I then got a call to return, pick them up and take them to hospital as they were all injured, having forgotten to tie off before jumping !!
Elite fighting force
Four of them jumped off, two at a time each side as planned. I flew away and as I turned I saw them all lying on the ground motionless.
I then got a call to return, pick them up and take them to hospital as they were all injured, having forgotten to tie off before jumping !!
Elite fighting force
Hauled a fellow who liked to chew Beechnut chewing tobacco. Big Mike was just that....looked like a Cotton Bale with the center tie busted....huge man. Getting him into the front seat of a MD-500 was some feat....getting him out was a bigger trick.
Enroute over the Cascade Mountains near Snoqualamie Pass east of Seattle we encountered a wee bit of turbulence caused by the 25-35 knot winds as a cold front passed through. (I know...should not have been there but despite my pleading, whining, and crying..."We just absolutely got to be there for the meeting...won out over commonsense.)
As we scurried up the Green River canyon, Mike started looking about as green as the Fir tree tops and began burping. Ever seen a Hippo burp? At that time I noticed he had done the chipmunk bit with the wad of chew and he was beginning to regret it.
Passing over the metropolitan downtown area Lester, about halfway up the canyon, the road got rough and upon surviving a nasty bump I heard a sickening sound of Big Mike trying to move the wad from its new location somewhere in the middle of his goozle.
Knowing what a nice man and dear friend he was I was in a real dilemna. As much as I would hate to lose him from choking, I considered it the better of the two choices, that being him choking or chundering. The image of Big Mike holding a standard issue Air Sickness Bag in front of his face and knowing how that would play out was a chilling thought. Big Mike was dark green, sweating buckets, and making noises that still make me shudder.
The next fifteen minutes it took to land outside the Number Nine Pub (where the Northern Exposure TV show was filmed) took a life time. Most of us enjoyed a nice lunch while Big Mike conversed over the Great White Telephone with some guy named Earl about a Buick.
As a result of this educational experience, I made a few changes in my helicopter and procedures.
First thing was installing a new warning placard that read "Masticators Of Worm Dirt Shall Fully Expectorate Prior To Closing Doors!
The other was to throw out all of the standard sized Chunder Sacks and replace them with 50 Gallon Bin Liners....a size that should accomodate even Big Mike.
Enroute over the Cascade Mountains near Snoqualamie Pass east of Seattle we encountered a wee bit of turbulence caused by the 25-35 knot winds as a cold front passed through. (I know...should not have been there but despite my pleading, whining, and crying..."We just absolutely got to be there for the meeting...won out over commonsense.)
As we scurried up the Green River canyon, Mike started looking about as green as the Fir tree tops and began burping. Ever seen a Hippo burp? At that time I noticed he had done the chipmunk bit with the wad of chew and he was beginning to regret it.
Passing over the metropolitan downtown area Lester, about halfway up the canyon, the road got rough and upon surviving a nasty bump I heard a sickening sound of Big Mike trying to move the wad from its new location somewhere in the middle of his goozle.
Knowing what a nice man and dear friend he was I was in a real dilemna. As much as I would hate to lose him from choking, I considered it the better of the two choices, that being him choking or chundering. The image of Big Mike holding a standard issue Air Sickness Bag in front of his face and knowing how that would play out was a chilling thought. Big Mike was dark green, sweating buckets, and making noises that still make me shudder.
The next fifteen minutes it took to land outside the Number Nine Pub (where the Northern Exposure TV show was filmed) took a life time. Most of us enjoyed a nice lunch while Big Mike conversed over the Great White Telephone with some guy named Earl about a Buick.
As a result of this educational experience, I made a few changes in my helicopter and procedures.
First thing was installing a new warning placard that read "Masticators Of Worm Dirt Shall Fully Expectorate Prior To Closing Doors!
The other was to throw out all of the standard sized Chunder Sacks and replace them with 50 Gallon Bin Liners....a size that should accomodate even Big Mike.
Avoid imitations
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Carrying out a troop insertion in the Belize jungle with a certain group of people that we don't mention. Had a senior member of said group in left hand seat as he wanted to recce the area as we looked for a suitable landing site. Just coming to a high hover (about 100 feet) inside a clearing when the LHS passenger decided it was time to get out.
Without saying anything he took off his headset, unstrapped and began to climb over the jumpseat into the cabin.
Problem was, the cyclic was in his way - so he just pushed it hard to the left and for good measure gave it a backwards kick as he vacated the seat. The aircraft rolled left and then forwards and down towards the trees. He suddenly realised what he had done and froze, hanging onto the the broom cupboard corner - and ME. I elbowed him very hard across the back of his legs and he let me go. It was VERY close to a disaster.
He did apologise afterwards.
Not as bad as a colleague's incident. He was carrying out a night insertion exercise with a stick of troops in the back. The crewman opened one of the doors at 200 feet on the approach, as per the SOP. As he moved across the cabin to open the second door, the soldiers began shouting. He turned around to see a vacant seat and horrified looks from the remaining soldiers. Their CO, a Major, who had been asleep by all accounts, had woken up, immediately unstrapped and walked out of the door into the night.
Without saying anything he took off his headset, unstrapped and began to climb over the jumpseat into the cabin.
Problem was, the cyclic was in his way - so he just pushed it hard to the left and for good measure gave it a backwards kick as he vacated the seat. The aircraft rolled left and then forwards and down towards the trees. He suddenly realised what he had done and froze, hanging onto the the broom cupboard corner - and ME. I elbowed him very hard across the back of his legs and he let me go. It was VERY close to a disaster.
He did apologise afterwards.
Not as bad as a colleague's incident. He was carrying out a night insertion exercise with a stick of troops in the back. The crewman opened one of the doors at 200 feet on the approach, as per the SOP. As he moved across the cabin to open the second door, the soldiers began shouting. He turned around to see a vacant seat and horrified looks from the remaining soldiers. Their CO, a Major, who had been asleep by all accounts, had woken up, immediately unstrapped and walked out of the door into the night.
Nigerian In Law
Sas/212man,
A bit off thread, but you guys may remember a certain American mutual friend of ours in Warri (I think he was Chief Pilot Shell at the time) who used to chew the Worm Dirt while flying.
He needed to "expectorate" (nice turn of phrase Sas) in the cruise, so he stuck his head out the window of a 212 and spat, only to have the slipstream (yes, you get that even in a 212) suck it back directly in to the face of the right hand forward facing passenger.
Needless to say, said passenger was less than impressed and complained to Big Brother (Shell) when he got off. Nothing happened though. Can't think why.
Aaah, memories are just great. Shame there aren't too many REALLY good ones
A bit off thread, but you guys may remember a certain American mutual friend of ours in Warri (I think he was Chief Pilot Shell at the time) who used to chew the Worm Dirt while flying.
He needed to "expectorate" (nice turn of phrase Sas) in the cruise, so he stuck his head out the window of a 212 and spat, only to have the slipstream (yes, you get that even in a 212) suck it back directly in to the face of the right hand forward facing passenger.
Needless to say, said passenger was less than impressed and complained to Big Brother (Shell) when he got off. Nothing happened though. Can't think why.
Aaah, memories are just great. Shame there aren't too many REALLY good ones
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I was on a trial flight with a strange Asian Boy. Throughout the flight he had been a little funny but not done anything too unusual. As part of the flight we had of course covered handover of controls etc. At the end of the flight I demostraighted an Autorotation, Much to my surprise at about 300 AGL this guy decides to grab on to all 3 controls and lock every mussle in his body. Even when I yelled at him he still held strong! In the end I just had to over power him and finish auto with him fighting the whole time (Lucky for me he was a little fellow).
As you can imagine I was not to impressed and when trying to explain that he just about killed us he just started laughing. It was not untill I had landed the machine and told him to stop laughing and pay attention that he actually listened as I firmly told him never to grab controls on ANYTHING whilst someone else is in control.
After that I had to cover Hovering with him which was about as much fun.
Later on that day one of the other pilots found him sitting in the AS350 playing with switches and told him to piss off! Only one hour later to find him in it again this time asleep in the back seats.
We came to the conclussion that he was not quite all there!!
As you can imagine I was not to impressed and when trying to explain that he just about killed us he just started laughing. It was not untill I had landed the machine and told him to stop laughing and pay attention that he actually listened as I firmly told him never to grab controls on ANYTHING whilst someone else is in control.
After that I had to cover Hovering with him which was about as much fun.
Later on that day one of the other pilots found him sitting in the AS350 playing with switches and told him to piss off! Only one hour later to find him in it again this time asleep in the back seats.
We came to the conclussion that he was not quite all there!!
Last edited by crispy69; 18th Jun 2006 at 22:36.
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I was doing a post servicing test flight on a Black Hawk (aircraft engineer) with my avionics counterpart when the pilot complained that the RH cargo door was unlocked (we were at about 3500'). The avionics lad (who didn't close the door properly in the first place) unbuckled from the RH Loadmasters seat, went down the back and knelt next to the door. Rather than just push it closed, he fully opened it then slammed it shut, scaring the **** out of me and the pilot in the front. All we herd was a sudden rush of air, a loud bang followed by a loss of comms and visual with the avionics lad! Needless to say he received another arsehole after we landed. On another flight over Brisbane many moons ago, another avionic guy was sitting in the RH loadmasters seat again taking photo's during a flypast when he accidently dropped his lens cover out the window. He quickly put his head out the window to see were it went and lost his headset for the effort.
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Drag him out.
Doing joy flights at a school fete with some other low hour pilots. Woman comes up with teenage son who suffers autism or similar and wants to go for a fly. We put him in the back (R44) with her and brief the pilot. Mum reckons the lad will be under control. Off they go.
Pilot takes off and does very short circuit and lands. Two of us walk out see the face on the pilot as he picks boots and socks off his head. The teenage pax had taken his boots and socks off and started throwing them around the R44! Lad was luaghing and having a great time. Mum says that he often strips when he is having fun (Don't we all??)
Mum coaxed the son out and two of us lifted and carried him away from the machine. (Helps when you've got a copper and ex-soldier working together, wink, nod, drag!)
The pilot left with the front seat passenger for a more enjoyable flight and to settle his nerves...
Pilot takes off and does very short circuit and lands. Two of us walk out see the face on the pilot as he picks boots and socks off his head. The teenage pax had taken his boots and socks off and started throwing them around the R44!
Lad was luaghing and having a great time. Mum says that he often strips when he is having fun (Don't we all??)Mum coaxed the son out and two of us lifted and carried him away from the machine. (Helps when you've got a copper and ex-soldier working together, wink, nod, drag!)
The pilot left with the front seat passenger for a more enjoyable flight and to settle his nerves...
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scenic flight
I had an American ex Viet vet naval skyhawk pilot climb into the pilots seat, buckle up and began to "fiddle" with things while I loaded the horrified Pax in the back. He realised what was wrong as i climbed into the co pilots seat and couldnt appologize enough. I was a little nervous after that.
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I haven't had any really stupid passengers, but I had one that as we were coming in to land in order to deliver a Teddy Bear holding an engagement ring, he decided to open the door and jump to the grass with the bear, when I still had about 8 feet of altitude and was still moving forward considerably, The only thing was he didn't tell me he was goint to do it. Everyone was really excited and there was a big party going on with lots of girls in there so I guess he wanted to play stuntman, which BTW got him the goodies later that afternoon. 
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During a practice auto in an R22, my young CFI decided to daydream and leaned on his side of the T-cyclic.
As a student pilot at the time doing autos was scary enough, but to have your instructor daze out on you like that too? I was wondering why we were pitching forward so much when I realized he was leaning on the cyclic. I left elbowed him a good one. I wont name names.
Da Monk
As a student pilot at the time doing autos was scary enough, but to have your instructor daze out on you like that too? I was wondering why we were pitching forward so much when I realized he was leaning on the cyclic. I left elbowed him a good one. I wont name names.
Da Monk
Last edited by TheMonk; 19th Jun 2006 at 02:45.