Hauled a fellow who liked to chew Beechnut chewing tobacco. Big Mike was just that....looked like a Cotton Bale with the center tie busted....huge man. Getting him into the front seat of a MD-500 was some feat....getting him out was a bigger trick.
Enroute over the Cascade Mountains near Snoqualamie Pass east of Seattle we encountered a wee bit of turbulence caused by the 25-35 knot winds as a cold front passed through. (I know...should not have been there but despite my pleading, whining, and crying..."We just absolutely got to be there for the meeting...won out over commonsense.)
As we scurried up the Green River canyon, Mike started looking about as green as the Fir tree tops and began burping. Ever seen a Hippo burp? At that time I noticed he had done the chipmunk bit with the wad of chew and he was beginning to regret it.
Passing over the metropolitan downtown area Lester, about halfway up the canyon, the road got rough and upon surviving a nasty bump I heard a sickening sound of Big Mike trying to move the wad from its new location somewhere in the middle of his goozle.
Knowing what a nice man and dear friend he was I was in a real dilemna. As much as I would hate to lose him from choking, I considered it the better of the two choices, that being him choking or chundering. The image of Big Mike holding a standard issue Air Sickness Bag in front of his face and knowing how that would play out was a chilling thought. Big Mike was dark green, sweating buckets, and making noises that still make me shudder.
The next fifteen minutes it took to land outside the Number Nine Pub (where the Northern Exposure TV show was filmed) took a life time. Most of us enjoyed a nice lunch while Big Mike conversed over the Great White Telephone with some guy named Earl about a Buick.
As a result of this educational experience, I made a few changes in my helicopter and procedures.
First thing was installing a new warning placard that read "Masticators Of Worm Dirt Shall Fully Expectorate Prior To Closing Doors!
The other was to throw out all of the standard sized Chunder Sacks and replace them with 50 Gallon Bin Liners....a size that should accomodate even Big Mike.