Fearing that the Thatcher cosplay wasn't enough, Liz Truss has drastic plastic surgery to look like a strong leader...

Yes i know we ' borrowed ' a Cruiser from the Italians to replace Moskva, is that why the Engine room Telegraph has 6 reverse gears? ...

Ensign Hoskinski made full use of his uncanny likeness to the President to ensure he always got the cushty assignments. Lookout on the Moskva, what could possibly go wrong.

As the Sonar was giving intermittent outages, the lookout, Vasilly, was tasked to shout PING every 15 seconds

Yes, this IS my best side, you dont wanna get on the other side of me

Are you sure this publicity stunt will work comrade?
Yes Mr President, everyone loves a sailor.

Vlad contemplates applying to join the British Commonwealth ... then his gender-neutral athletes could sweep the medal awards at the next Games.

In another show of lunacy ......VP denies global warming is an issue whilst standing on the 4th floor balcony of the Kremlin!

No Sergie, just because he has 'Special Operation' ...we don't need to put pink curtains in his cabin!

Captain...the west has gone too far now.....
First they say I'm mad, then they oppose my Ukraine operation.....then they supply weapons....
...but now, they use me in Caption comp......train all your guns on PPRuNe towers and let loose!

Sorry, they were all out of Siberian Wolf fur, so you will have to make do with Grey Squirrel.

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....60af8a2cec.jpg

It's the British Sir, they decided the Penal colony you would serve out the rest of your life and I hear Australia isn't that bad.

It's a whale, I need a couple of Harpoons..

Gulp....Ukraine has signalled and they are on the way Sir.

Your turn in the barrel Sir..
But I am your Commander in Chief..
Well, you might not realise it, but you have been well and truly shafted since February, so another day won't matter.

If only VPs last reported words were:

"So you say the Ukrainians can get 7 HIMARS to hit one bridge? Well, let's see if they can do it when the bridge is moving.."

(PS - Nutloose, I believe they refer to that lining material as "fish-fur")

It takes a big man to admit that he's wrong. Good job I'm a short arse then...

We better not stray to close to the Ukrainian coast Sir, we've heard they've had their Weetabix

Yup, testicles still there.

Bloody Aussies. they cancelled Neighbours, why can't we do it just as easy.

UP Periscope orderred the Captain...Putin was MOST surprised