Stop bitching about lying out in the open, if I had my way you’d be sleeping in a Washington underground carpark.

Damn, I was sure they were burning electoral postal votes.

(Thinking..) "Big horse, you're mine, I'll walk the line...nope, just don't understand that Johnny Cash dude.."

First Ronald, now Donald. The procession of red headed clowns retiring continues......

Hell even that Jimmy Carter gets more invites to parties than I do now...

Mel went for a pint of milk 4 days ago, left me a note. Think she has it wrong, my names not John.

Jeez I’ve never seen anything like it, we fire off orange smoke and Trump walks through it and absorbs all the orange dye out of it.

OK, which wise guy put glue on the soles of my shoes?

The former President unveils plans for his Library. Inside the main body will be a spiral ramp with the full canon of Tweets reproduced along the (abdominal) walls.

Cost? The Mexicans are paying for it.

Couple of months ago I pardoned the Presidential Turkey, now she has written a kiss and tell book

Sir what about the Army firing off behind you?

That was on Pg 17....

Look stop taking the mick, I may be ( ahem ) retired but I am STILL Mr President to you.

Soldier, yes but I did NOT vote for you...

Look I even tried to appear insane by putting pencils up my nostrils and saying " wibble " but they still did not invalid me back to Florida. So I tried to convince them by going " over the top " and walking through " no man's land "

"How does that go again, oh yeah, left foot..right foot..left foot.. ahh rats, forgot how to walk again..."

I'm off to the NAAFI van, you guys want anything?



https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....56cd084782.jpg

Why are you walking like Frankenstein's monster?
Cause I **** myself when that Howitzer went off!

Believe me, there's more to being POTAS than clicking "I accept" on every cookie tab you csn find.
Melania could have told him that already.

Had a offer to be the next " Michelin Man " but I found that a bit deflating

When Joe Biden said he was drawing a line under my presidency, he wasn't kidding!

Joe asked me to help bring the country back together, so I'm off to Antarctica

At Fort Bragg the Marines change the targets from armed insurgents to giant cut out ex President Trump. Accuracy however did not improve.