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Caption Competition Mk III

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Caption Competition Mk III

Old 1st Mar 2021, 14:50
  #161 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
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Man kneeling remembers....The Blue cable is attached to the Red shackle... on no account the green one...Or was it? Should have paid more Attention to Carrier Ops 101...
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 14:51
  #162 (permalink)  
 
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Sharkey in the Cockpit...When I was on Harriers did not have this faffing about. ...
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 14:52
  #163 (permalink)  
 
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Goose, kick the tyres and light the fires...
Talk to me Goose...Goose..
Shit it's a single seater
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 18:00
  #164 (permalink)  
 
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Location: UK
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Gp Cap Monsieur LeHoskins checks his log book, confirmed this is his 17th catapult launch as noted on the aircraft stencils, However Checks the Trap column is still blank, empty, zero , zilch nada.

Last edited by Kiltrash; 1st Mar 2021 at 18:57.
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 18:05
  #165 (permalink)  
 
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Kiltrash, you beat me to the draw ....

”Hoskins’ successful ejections were recorded on yet another airframe”
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 19:23
  #166 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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Captain of ship asked to slow down, as the Jag was approaching Vne on the deck.
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 19:44
  #167 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
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The Pilot was surprised to run out of fuel on the practice bombing run when he discovered the external tank was actually a bucket of instant sunshine.
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 19:47
  #168 (permalink)  
 
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The Red Shirts had heard what usually befell them on the USS Enterprise so when needed were not to be seen.
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 19:54
  #169 (permalink)  
 
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Hurry up, the boy on the beach has to go home for his tea.
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 20:13
  #170 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: One Three Seven, Disco Heaven.
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Why all the jibes about the jags speed?
Because the bridle will probably get further!







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Old 1st Mar 2021, 20:17
  #171 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: One Three Seven, Disco Heaven.
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Trainee launch guy, "Why does the nose wheel extend like that"?
Experienced launch guy, "Because it generates more lift, same idea as on the Phantom".
Pilot, "PHANTOM!!!! WHERE"?
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 20:22
  #172 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: One Three Seven, Disco Heaven.
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You'd be better sending those bombs by Packlink. They're more likely to get delivered!
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 21:04
  #173 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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"I hear that Jaguar is to become an all electric brand after 2025".

"I hope that these cables will be long enough to reach the target then".
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 21:44
  #174 (permalink)  
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Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
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Bridge to Engine Room - Warp factor 7, Scotty

She cannae take it Captain... Can we no' beam the bloody thing up?
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 21:55
  #175 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Not really a caption, but a good excuse for a really old joke...

"Doctor! I think that I have Hermes".

"Don't you men Herpes?"

"No - I think I'm a carrier".
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Old 1st Mar 2021, 22:47
  #176 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hants
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The Captain won't have it in the hangar, so just to make sure we've hung 3 tonnes of bomb-shaped concrete on it, we've hung Chiefy's model submarine on it and we've stuck the fat work-experience kid in the cockpit, but orders is orders so we tie it down. Finish tightening that and we can get below. Storm forecast or not, this one's not going anywhere.
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Old 2nd Mar 2021, 01:02
  #177 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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"Somebody tell this idiot that with his tailhook down, the thing won't launch!"

"That's exactly why he put it down! He is only the cook's assistant, sitting in there for the photo shoot."
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Old 2nd Mar 2021, 02:52
  #178 (permalink)  

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Little known fact about the French Navy, when they launched, the Pilots shouted Foch Off!!!
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Old 2nd Mar 2021, 05:48
  #179 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
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International woman's day...wtf .. next thing you know it's will be the pu$$ypit.
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Old 2nd Mar 2021, 05:55
  #180 (permalink)  
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It's going whether it flies or not - the ship's cat is jealous.

I think it's a mutual feline, Sir.
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