I Wish I Hadn't Said That ...
Describing the role which the C-130K played with 1312 Flt, the following appears in the latest ARSAG newsletter:
Islands which can only be reached by air or sea, eh? No $hit, Sherlock! How else are you going to reach islands in the South Atlantic? By train? By walking?
The C-130K also patrols to the islands of South Georgia and South Sandwich. These islands are British Colonies, which lay many hundreds of miles to the southeast and can only be reached by air or sea.
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Meet and greet at the start of BFTS.
The deputy CI (whose name escapes me, but he liked to be known as 'BloodAxe' on account of his chop rate) starts making small talk with a mate of mine (fellow student).
Bloodaxe " Ah, Pilot officer Bloggs, been into town yet?"
My mate "Yes Sir!"
Bloodaxe "What do you reckon to the local girls eh?"
My mate "Pretty good to look at sir! Unfortunately as soon as they open their mouths and start talking the illusion is shattered... they are as thick as pig****!"
Bloodaxe muses "hmmmmmmm. By the way, my wife is a local girl"
The deputy CI (whose name escapes me, but he liked to be known as 'BloodAxe' on account of his chop rate) starts making small talk with a mate of mine (fellow student).
Bloodaxe " Ah, Pilot officer Bloggs, been into town yet?"
My mate "Yes Sir!"
Bloodaxe "What do you reckon to the local girls eh?"
My mate "Pretty good to look at sir! Unfortunately as soon as they open their mouths and start talking the illusion is shattered... they are as thick as pig****!"
Bloodaxe muses "hmmmmmmm. By the way, my wife is a local girl"
Graduation lunch at Sleaford Tech late 70s/early 80s - Mother of recently graduated N Irish cadet to Commandant - "So tell me how you can achieve in 18 weekhs what I could not do in 21 years".
Ears and nose clogged, flight trainng, assigned the daily assistant to Flight Duty Officer, who runs the daily flight schedule. Learned much about radio comms, I did -- stuff that wasn't in the book.
Frustrated sounding aviator in training: "Looks like I f(#*$^d that one up, sir."
Tower: "Last transmission, say call sign."
Pause
Another Voice: "Tower, he said he f*&$$d up, not that he's f&^$*ing stupid."
Yet another voice: "This is Charlie Oscar, knock it off."
I got to hear the CO and "Another Voice" in the not so quiet conversation about a half hour later, regarding comms discipline, as the Flight Duty spot was adjacent to the CO's office.
The CO had recognized his voice.
Frustrated sounding aviator in training: "Looks like I f(#*$^d that one up, sir."
Tower: "Last transmission, say call sign."
Pause
Another Voice: "Tower, he said he f*&$$d up, not that he's f&^$*ing stupid."
Yet another voice: "This is Charlie Oscar, knock it off."
I got to hear the CO and "Another Voice" in the not so quiet conversation about a half hour later, regarding comms discipline, as the Flight Duty spot was adjacent to the CO's office.
The CO had recognized his voice.
As an antidote to all the smartarse responses of the ginger beers to aircrew snaggings.
Coningsby, early '90s
pilot on sign in; "Right Chief, the rudder caption comes on intermittently, the UHF radio has a max range of 40nm,....., and the left engine's well
fu(&ed"
Chief (fairy): I'm fed up with you aircrew; you can't put well fu(&ed in the F700. I'll get the Engines Sargeant.
On appearance of same:
Chief (in very patronising tone): Right Sir, can you do your best to give us some clue about the engine?
Pilot looks at kneepad: OK, S+L, M1.3, FL360, OAT -53; deselected reheat, pop surge, nozzle to ENC,.. blah, blah, in best I've got a degree in Jet Engines style.
Engine Sargeant turns to Chief: "Ooooh, that's well fu(&ed!"
To be fair, Chiefie bought me a drink and apologised for not realising that "well fu(&ed" was a technical term for sooties.
Nice to get one over on them occasionally.
Coningsby, early '90s
pilot on sign in; "Right Chief, the rudder caption comes on intermittently, the UHF radio has a max range of 40nm,....., and the left engine's well
fu(&ed"
Chief (fairy): I'm fed up with you aircrew; you can't put well fu(&ed in the F700. I'll get the Engines Sargeant.
On appearance of same:
Chief (in very patronising tone): Right Sir, can you do your best to give us some clue about the engine?
Pilot looks at kneepad: OK, S+L, M1.3, FL360, OAT -53; deselected reheat, pop surge, nozzle to ENC,.. blah, blah, in best I've got a degree in Jet Engines style.
Engine Sargeant turns to Chief: "Ooooh, that's well fu(&ed!"
To be fair, Chiefie bought me a drink and apologised for not realising that "well fu(&ed" was a technical term for sooties.
Nice to get one over on them occasionally.
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RAF/USAF socialising
In the late 70s a group of Wildenrath F4 Pilots was talking to their USAF counterparts who were on detachment from California and occupying an empty dispersal site. For some reason their Colonel decided to give the Brits his extremely original slant on the Northern Ireland situation. After a lengthy diatribe he concluded with the statement that no self respecting Irishman would have anything to do with the British, let alone serve in their armed services. 'Hello Colonel' said a visiting Squadron Leader, 'I didnt catch your name' 'I'm Lieutenant Colonel ........... from Texas'. 'Nice to meet you: I'm George Lee from Dublin'.
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Slight thread drift, but it fits with the theme of the "Maybe I'd better check things first . . ." thread.
In 1974 George Lee, as formation leader, had an air miss filed against him (and 8 other F4s) on a photoshoot for the newly converted 111 Sqn, with Boston Stump as the back drop.
The air miss was filed by a glider pilot, who was somewhat disconcerted to see nine F4s in echelon port heading "straight towards me!!" I had to investigate the circumstances and knew it was an open and shut case before I even got to Coningsby.
George was at that time the world gliding champion . . . . . . . . .
In 1974 George Lee, as formation leader, had an air miss filed against him (and 8 other F4s) on a photoshoot for the newly converted 111 Sqn, with Boston Stump as the back drop.
The air miss was filed by a glider pilot, who was somewhat disconcerted to see nine F4s in echelon port heading "straight towards me!!" I had to investigate the circumstances and knew it was an open and shut case before I even got to Coningsby.
George was at that time the world gliding champion . . . . . . . . .
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Sat in the Nav planning room at a certain UAS at RAF Woodvale, some CFS lads were staying for the week, and one was unpacking his gear in the Nav room when his phone goes; he answers it, and in the quiet of the planning room, I can hear the other end - its his CO, who he is obviously good friends with. The following conversation took place:
"Bloggs mate, can you talk?"
"Oh hello boss, hows things?"
"Good thanks, got a question, do you fancy spending a week at Scampton with the Reds?"
"Week with the Reds? No thanks boss, they're all c*nts..."
Queue me collapsing in a fit of laughter and heading straight for the line book....
"Bloggs mate, can you talk?"
"Oh hello boss, hows things?"
"Good thanks, got a question, do you fancy spending a week at Scampton with the Reds?"
"Week with the Reds? No thanks boss, they're all c*nts..."
Queue me collapsing in a fit of laughter and heading straight for the line book....
From the latest RAF Club e-Newsletter:
No doubt that'll amuse our fishhead and mud-eating friends.....
Seafood and Sundaes
In the Dining Room through the summer we shall be serving some seafood specialities such as crab and lobster
In the Dining Room through the summer we shall be serving some seafood specialities such as crab and lobster
RAF club staff....
.....Beags:
I doubt if any of the current staff will have the faintest idea about that reference - most of them seem to have very little English. I had to sort out my bill one night with a chap from one of France's old African colonies in French as he felt more at home with that.
The Ancient Mariner
I doubt if any of the current staff will have the faintest idea about that reference - most of them seem to have very little English. I had to sort out my bill one night with a chap from one of France's old African colonies in French as he felt more at home with that.
The Ancient Mariner
Rossian, I know what you mean! In fact, rather than hijack this thread, I'm going to open a new thread about the Club......
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Good mate of mine, in the eng crew room at 72 Aldergrove, sitting having coffee one morning when the Sqdn WO walks in.
"Corporal Pxxx. I saw you leave the squadron at 17:20 last night. You know shift time is 17:30"
"Not me sir"
"Corporal Pxxx. Don't argue. I saw you leave at 17:20"
"No, must be mistaken sir"
(SWO is starting to vent small amounts of steam. Shouts...)
"Corporal Pxxx. I saw you leave at 17:20"
"No. Not me sir, I left about quarter past"
I swear the dear old WO, incandescent with rage, turned purple. Due in no small part to the assembled linies crying with laughter.
"Corporal Pxxx. I saw you leave the squadron at 17:20 last night. You know shift time is 17:30"
"Not me sir"
"Corporal Pxxx. Don't argue. I saw you leave at 17:20"
"No, must be mistaken sir"
(SWO is starting to vent small amounts of steam. Shouts...)
"Corporal Pxxx. I saw you leave at 17:20"
"No. Not me sir, I left about quarter past"
I swear the dear old WO, incandescent with rage, turned purple. Due in no small part to the assembled linies crying with laughter.
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Excellent thread which I stumbled across by accident - has kept me up all hours reading all the way through it.
One tale I was surprised I did not see. Not sure of the truth to it, but it was doing the rounds not long after it was supposed to have happened. I think it was even in some news articles, as much as that lends any credibility.
Story goes sometime shortly after "mission accomplished" was declared in Iraq II, well after the disappearance of any sort of Iraqi air forces. A RAF Chinook was doing one of its runs when over excited US ground forces opened up on it. The pilot takes action, then comes around and lands right next to the offending unit. Out hops the steaming mad pilot who charges over and starts laying into the grunt:
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A F--KING IRAQI HELICOPTER!".
The news article described the pilot as "someone who did not suffer fools well".
One tale I was surprised I did not see. Not sure of the truth to it, but it was doing the rounds not long after it was supposed to have happened. I think it was even in some news articles, as much as that lends any credibility.
Story goes sometime shortly after "mission accomplished" was declared in Iraq II, well after the disappearance of any sort of Iraqi air forces. A RAF Chinook was doing one of its runs when over excited US ground forces opened up on it. The pilot takes action, then comes around and lands right next to the offending unit. Out hops the steaming mad pilot who charges over and starts laying into the grunt:
"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A F--KING IRAQI HELICOPTER!".
The news article described the pilot as "someone who did not suffer fools well".
Have heard about the same sort of thing hapening in Afganhistan, RM secret squirel team droped of by US marine helicopter in the middle of nowhere at the wrong place. Change of radio freqs and codes, so have to walk for a number of days and eventually manage to attract attention of an RAF chinook crew. Get on board, marine asks if the chinnok crew would stop off at the helicopter unit on the way home. Lo and behol chinook lands, unhappy marine has crew keep engines running, deplanes and goes to have a communication with said pilot. Comes back to aircraft, saying leave now before I'm caught up with by the MPs amd I don't mean politicians. Rumour is that it took only one hit for the pilot to wake up with a crowd around him