Mrs Bloggs 'At Home' Etiquette/Protocols
So, guys and gals, thanks for all the comments over the past couple of months, as I've posted before; this has probably one of the best Threads on pprune for ages.
If nothing else, I'd love to see this as a sticky, but I have to say a hard copy of this thread would have been a damn sight more informative than the CESR lessons we had at Sleaford Tech!
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
The first thing to sort is the date.
Too soon and it would look too obviously duty. Too long and people might wonder.
Then there are 'no dates'. Easter is one and the Royal Wedding is one. 8th May is another.
Too soon and it would look too obviously duty. Too long and people might wonder.
Then there are 'no dates'. Easter is one and the Royal Wedding is one. 8th May is another.
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Ah,
this is Mills and Boon, sorry, Mills and SAS, no actual willy waving is EVER allowed to intrude, it has to be a mere hint of a suggestion....
Like that chap on the Little Britain (?) sketches, I am prepared if need be to charicature Dame Barbara Cartland for another chapter or two...
Dave
(Her bosom heaved, he felt himself thrutching with ever increasing urgency...)
this is Mills and Boon, sorry, Mills and SAS, no actual willy waving is EVER allowed to intrude, it has to be a mere hint of a suggestion....
Like that chap on the Little Britain (?) sketches, I am prepared if need be to charicature Dame Barbara Cartland for another chapter or two...
Dave
(Her bosom heaved, he felt himself thrutching with ever increasing urgency...)
Oh my!........
....I like that word Dave. "Thrutching" brings all sorts of mental images to the surface (some of which will need suppressing).
However comma it being Christmas Eve, not in the workhouse, and having for a heathen been to g'daughetrs carol Service this afterrnoon in Brizzle, and feeling generally benevolent, I wish you all a good Christmas and a better 2011 - particularaly to the all worried folks at ISK.
The Ancient Mariner
However comma it being Christmas Eve, not in the workhouse, and having for a heathen been to g'daughetrs carol Service this afterrnoon in Brizzle, and feeling generally benevolent, I wish you all a good Christmas and a better 2011 - particularaly to the all worried folks at ISK.
The Ancient Mariner
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Ah bless,
the one thin g Ian Hislop would not worry about is the need to apologise to his mighty organ <g>
'Might I press you to a small fancy?' Enquired the dashing young blade, his ostensible paramour felt her heart flutter before replying coyly - 'Well sir, I suppose I might partake of the merest touch of your - how should I put it - relish?'
Baronet Musclemech gazed into her doe like eyes in wonder, whilst using the spike on his Swiss Army Knife to spread the Patum Peperium over a handy oatcake, was there nothing that could daunt this lovely young girl?
(c) Mills and Hooligan, 2010
For anyone struggling to understand the social occasion described, this might help:
YouTube - Gay Bar Song - The Armstrong and Miller Show - S2 Ep4 Preview - BBC One
Happy Christmas John, all the best to Colleen also, I guess you aren't sharing the bracing Kinloss weather just now.... -18 at Findhorn the other morning, Brrrrr!
Dave
the one thin g Ian Hislop would not worry about is the need to apologise to his mighty organ <g>
'Might I press you to a small fancy?' Enquired the dashing young blade, his ostensible paramour felt her heart flutter before replying coyly - 'Well sir, I suppose I might partake of the merest touch of your - how should I put it - relish?'
Baronet Musclemech gazed into her doe like eyes in wonder, whilst using the spike on his Swiss Army Knife to spread the Patum Peperium over a handy oatcake, was there nothing that could daunt this lovely young girl?
(c) Mills and Hooligan, 2010
For anyone struggling to understand the social occasion described, this might help:
YouTube - Gay Bar Song - The Armstrong and Miller Show - S2 Ep4 Preview - BBC One
Happy Christmas John, all the best to Colleen also, I guess you aren't sharing the bracing Kinloss weather just now.... -18 at Findhorn the other morning, Brrrrr!
Dave
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Beags
aka Scroggs...
The Meaning of Liff
I don't know about flies in the meat, but there were a few dubious looking curly black hairs in the pasta....
The Meaning of Liff
A splendid little book which I've had for years!
I particularly like 'Lossiemouth', 'Scrabster', 'Theakston' and 'Toronto'!
Happy Christmas!!
I particularly like 'Lossiemouth', 'Scrabster', 'Theakston' and 'Toronto'!
Happy Christmas!!
Re: the 'Return Match'
I've been to five drinks parties between 18th and 26th Dec and at each one it was clear that the host was not a beer drinker.
I know that it is possible to buy Boddingtons/John Smiths/Carling/Stella and similar, at prices where the supermarket is almost paying you to take it away......but...
Can I make a plea to MM and ask him to buy some 'proper' beer for the return match and not take the cheapskate route and buy rubbish beer.
I've been to five drinks parties between 18th and 26th Dec and at each one it was clear that the host was not a beer drinker.
I know that it is possible to buy Boddingtons/John Smiths/Carling/Stella and similar, at prices where the supermarket is almost paying you to take it away......but...
Can I make a plea to MM and ask him to buy some 'proper' beer for the return match and not take the cheapskate route and buy rubbish beer.
Beer served at an 'At Home'?
Oh dear, are there no standards?
Completely inappropriate at such an event. Perfectly acceptable at a barbi', of course, but simply not correct form for an 'At Home'...
Oh dear, are there no standards?
Completely inappropriate at such an event. Perfectly acceptable at a barbi', of course, but simply not correct form for an 'At Home'...
I wouldn't go that far BEagle - not everybody - me included has what might be called a well developed palate. For instance I absolutely detest wine, it all tastes the same (tannin) and gives me ferocious hangovers in the smallest quantities. If I were invited to such an evening and knew before hand that it was going to be hours of something undrinkable followed by a serious hangover, I would really have to think hard about whether to go. Surely not a particularly good excuse for being anti-social, but I think the hostess might be a little surprised if I spent the evening asking for neat vodka as an alternative to the dreaded grape juice!
In the interests of that old Noo Lab favourite social inclusivity, I would always have a few beers on standby, albeit decent beers, served in decent glasses. None of the usual muck you get from an off licence, but something seasonally appropriate from a niche brewer.
Surely that would be a better way than either putting off your prospective guests before they even arrive or making them feel uncomfortable. Unless of course, you are holding an At Home under duress and are keen to minimise the number of attendees and further reduce the time those brave enough to attend spend with you!
In the interests of that old Noo Lab favourite social inclusivity, I would always have a few beers on standby, albeit decent beers, served in decent glasses. None of the usual muck you get from an off licence, but something seasonally appropriate from a niche brewer.
Surely that would be a better way than either putting off your prospective guests before they even arrive or making them feel uncomfortable. Unless of course, you are holding an At Home under duress and are keen to minimise the number of attendees and further reduce the time those brave enough to attend spend with you!
Last edited by Melchett01; 28th Dec 2010 at 13:46.
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albeit decent beers, served in decent glasses. None of the usual muck you get from an off licence, but something seasonally appropriate from a niche brewer.
I must agree with you there Melchett01. Hook Norton, Shepherd Neame are two Breweries that come to mind.
I think Beagle is harking back to the 'Party 7' days
Nope, Party Seven (with that awful sparklet dispenser thing) notwithstanding, offering guests a glass of some Camra-approved rectal-reaming ale, probably with bits of wood floating in it, just isn't done at such an event.
I can understand an aversion to the choice wines of the seventies such as grotty-Pedrotti, Hirondelle, Bull's Blood, Blue Nun or the Officers Mess 'wine from several countries' (aka the European wine lake) Dom Kellerstolz
- but that's about all. I don't include Kokkinelli in that list, of course, as it isn't really 'wine' as such...
Perhaps if you really cannot drink wine, then a gin and tonic or somesuch? If that's still too girly for you, then a scotch? Otherwise you'll just have to sit it out with the fat wheezy boys with their chits from Matron and drink water!
I can understand an aversion to the choice wines of the seventies such as grotty-Pedrotti, Hirondelle, Bull's Blood, Blue Nun or the Officers Mess 'wine from several countries' (aka the European wine lake) Dom Kellerstolz
- but that's about all. I don't include Kokkinelli in that list, of course, as it isn't really 'wine' as such...Perhaps if you really cannot drink wine, then a gin and tonic or somesuch? If that's still too girly for you, then a scotch? Otherwise you'll just have to sit it out with the fat wheezy boys with their chits from Matron and drink water!
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Perhaps if you really cannot drink wine, then a gin and tonic or somesuch? If that's still too girly for you, then a scotch? Otherwise you'll just have to sit it out with the fat wheezy boys with their chits from Matron and drink water!
And it was more gin than vomit.
In Belize the boys on orange juice certainly did have a chit but from the doc due to a certain medical consition that may or may not result in a tour extension if not cleared up.
Gentlemen, Gentlemen,
The purpose of an 'At Home' or whatever you want to call it, is to socialise with ones friends and colleagues etc: it is not a contest as to who can produce the strongest, most exotic brew leading to all sorts of hangovers (in whatever sense you mean that).
If you want to explore the boundaries of real ale etc, a boys night on the patio is the place.
Yours boringly,
Old Duffer
The purpose of an 'At Home' or whatever you want to call it, is to socialise with ones friends and colleagues etc: it is not a contest as to who can produce the strongest, most exotic brew leading to all sorts of hangovers (in whatever sense you mean that).
If you want to explore the boundaries of real ale etc, a boys night on the patio is the place.
Yours boringly,
Old Duffer
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is to socialise with ones friends and colleagues etc:
Old-Duffer, quite so. The very thought of some uncultured oik quaffing beer at such a gathering.... How dreadfully lower order.
Drink at an 'At Home' is merely a courtesy, not an enabling device.
How dreadfully lower order.Drink at an 'At Home' is merely a courtesy, not an enabling device.
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Surely it is 'a basic courtesy' in this new enlightened era to ensure that one's guests feel comfortable and relaxed? And why should that not extend to what they feel comfortable drinking?
When friends old and new, including those comfortable and those uncomfortable with formal gatherings, gather at Cargo Towers, we feel the least we can do is to put them at their ease with a glass of something they enjoy.
Obviously quality must prevail but I can think of quite a few guests who have been very relieved to have been offered a chilled Weiss bier or a decent bottle conditioned real ale, a quality non-alcoholic fruit juice [basic OJ just doesn't cut it these days] or similar, rather than something they didn't enjoy.
Plus, let's face it, when civvie guests come round at the same time as any ex-mil mates, the civvies need all the help and comforting they can get! Err, and ear plugs .. allegedly
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I remember working on a very big aeroplane in the 90's and there was a techy corporal who was a workmate of mine with the surname of a very famous supermarket chain who was in fact a member of said family. He regularly entertained the high and mighty and suchlike at his farmhouse. As he rightly said, treat everyone with courtesy and respect, expect the same in return and you can't go far wrong.
I well remember at a fighter staish in the 70's we had a visit from Roy Mason who was Minister of Defence at the time. He had a look round our Sqdn and greeted me, a lowly SAC at the time by name, shook hands etc much to the bemusement of the entourage. I of course had the advantage of my old man and he being old politico mates. I was asked by OC Admin later in the day in a very round about way whether 'I had his ear' which I found and still do rib burstingly funny.
I well remember at a fighter staish in the 70's we had a visit from Roy Mason who was Minister of Defence at the time. He had a look round our Sqdn and greeted me, a lowly SAC at the time by name, shook hands etc much to the bemusement of the entourage. I of course had the advantage of my old man and he being old politico mates. I was asked by OC Admin later in the day in a very round about way whether 'I had his ear' which I found and still do rib burstingly funny.