Nope, Party Seven (with that awful sparklet dispenser thing) notwithstanding, offering guests a glass of some Camra-approved rectal-reaming ale, probably with bits of wood floating in it, just isn't done at such an event.
I can understand an aversion to the choice wines of the seventies such as grotty-Pedrotti, Hirondelle, Bull's Blood, Blue Nun or the Officers Mess 'wine from several countries' (aka the European wine lake) Dom Kellerstolz
- but that's about all. I don't include Kokkinelli in that list, of course, as it isn't really 'wine' as such...
Perhaps if you really cannot drink wine, then a gin and tonic or somesuch? If that's still too girly for you, then a scotch? Otherwise you'll just have to sit it out with the fat wheezy boys with their chits from Matron and drink water!