Favourite Military Banter/Phrases
Red On, Green On
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Between the woods and the water
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GI at BRNC trying to get the International Officers to fall in.
"Fall in three deep" - They shuffle about a bit, trying not to be in front, but looking more like a bus queue than a military section, some on their own, others up to five deep.
With raised voice "All right then, just stand one behind the other, twice"
"Fall in three deep" - They shuffle about a bit, trying not to be in front, but looking more like a bus queue than a military section, some on their own, others up to five deep.
With raised voice "All right then, just stand one behind the other, twice"
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Somerset
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"PVR - You know it makes sense"
... written on the inside of a green, plastic portaloo doubling as a guard hut at the entrance to Lyneham, back when Techies like me spent more time doing guard duty than we did Techying.
... written on the inside of a green, plastic portaloo doubling as a guard hut at the entrance to Lyneham, back when Techies like me spent more time doing guard duty than we did Techying.
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: where should i be today????
Age: 57
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For those who work in an environment where you still have brew lists
Tea/Coffee Julie Andrews - Tea/coffee white none(nun)
Tea/coffee Whoppi Goldburg - Tea/coffee blach none (nun)
Tea/Coffee Julie Andrews - Tea/coffee white none(nun)
Tea/coffee Whoppi Goldburg - Tea/coffee blach none (nun)
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Temporarily missing from the Joe Louis Arena
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Some from my world,
"Its no good pointing, USAS says its not there".
"You can't have it, someone else might want it".
"Its no good pointing, USAS says its not there".
"You can't have it, someone else might want it".
At Swinberdy, late 70's, cpl Garstang, spot inspection:
Him: Air Cadet Golf, are you switching to rockape?- Ithought you were an aerocrat (generic baby aircrew pisstake)
Me: No corporal
Him: Then why does your space look like an indoor grenade range then?
CG
Him: Air Cadet Golf, are you switching to rockape?- Ithought you were an aerocrat (generic baby aircrew pisstake)
Me: No corporal
Him: Then why does your space look like an indoor grenade range then?
CG
During basic training at Ashford in the early 70s, when the news was packed nearly every day with stories of the human and financial costs of the terrorist bombing campaign:
Cpl (after less-than-satisfactory block inspection): "If the IRA planted a bomb in here it'd do £10,000 pounds worth of improvements!"
---
Generic one I only ever heard once - used when anyone was heard to mutter "schidt":
"..said-the-King,-and-five-thousand-&rses-heaved-and-strained-'cos-in-those-days-it-was-no-mean-thing-to-disregard-the-word-of-royalty" (reeled out in one long without-pauses spiel)
Cpl (after less-than-satisfactory block inspection): "If the IRA planted a bomb in here it'd do £10,000 pounds worth of improvements!"
---
Generic one I only ever heard once - used when anyone was heard to mutter "schidt":
"..said-the-King,-and-five-thousand-&rses-heaved-and-strained-'cos-in-those-days-it-was-no-mean-thing-to-disregard-the-word-of-royalty" (reeled out in one long without-pauses spiel)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Hants
Age: 80
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Heard in a factory making parts of Exocets (for the RN not the Argies) in the early 1970's. Production Manager to a better than average looking young lady on the production line. "Hello Spanner Face". She "Why are you calling me Spanner Face". He "Cos every time I look at you it makes makes my nuts tighten".
Don't think you could get away with that these days!
ACW
Don't think you could get away with that these days!
ACW
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Formerly resident of Knoteatingham
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Army type ex jungle training in WMSJ having an honest attempt to chat up particularly attractive VC10 stewardess. Thinks he's doing ok so comes out with "Do you fancy jumping in the forward loo with me and joining the mile high club darling?"
Reply from 5 feet 5 stewardess to 6 feet 6 army type "Listen mate, I've already got one @rsehole in my knickers. If I ever want another one I'll let you know!"
Reply from 5 feet 5 stewardess to 6 feet 6 army type "Listen mate, I've already got one @rsehole in my knickers. If I ever want another one I'll let you know!"
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Strasbourg and hotter places
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Short Briefing for about 8 of HM's best just prior to the most glorious liberation of the Falklands (or was it Falkirk?)
Greying, distinguished seniorish Brit """"OK that's it, any questions or comments ?""""
Perfect Spanish speaker, obviously not me, ventriloquises from the back somewhere """ Muy interesante, un bien plan, Muy Bien, Muchas Gracias Senor !""" Or something of that ilk.
Greying, distinguished seniorish Brit """"OK that's it, any questions or comments ?""""
Perfect Spanish speaker, obviously not me, ventriloquises from the back somewhere """ Muy interesante, un bien plan, Muy Bien, Muchas Gracias Senor !""" Or something of that ilk.
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Formerly resident of Knoteatingham
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And in similar vein,
Ex RN Stoker and Falklands Vet Mike Osman, now a DJ at Capital Gold in London tells the story of arriving outside the studios at oh christ hundred one particularly wet and cold November morning to see a beggar sitting on a sheet of cardboard, wearing an eye patch and with one arm missing.
In front of him is a sign stating " I lost my eye and arm in the service of my country in the South Atlantic in 1982."
Mike Osman fumbles in his pockets for some change, thinks again, pulls out his wallet and puts a 20 pound note in the guys hand.
Guy looks at the note witha tear in his good eye and says "Muchus Gracias Senor."
Ex RN Stoker and Falklands Vet Mike Osman, now a DJ at Capital Gold in London tells the story of arriving outside the studios at oh christ hundred one particularly wet and cold November morning to see a beggar sitting on a sheet of cardboard, wearing an eye patch and with one arm missing.
In front of him is a sign stating " I lost my eye and arm in the service of my country in the South Atlantic in 1982."
Mike Osman fumbles in his pockets for some change, thinks again, pulls out his wallet and puts a 20 pound note in the guys hand.
Guy looks at the note witha tear in his good eye and says "Muchus Gracias Senor."
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
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Far too many posts to read them all, so apologies in advance if this has already appeared, but one of my favourites is:-
From the confidential bit of a student pilot's debrief write-up ;
"When this student presses the button to start the aircraft engine, he initiates a chain of events over which he has no further control..."
From the confidential bit of a student pilot's debrief write-up ;
"When this student presses the button to start the aircraft engine, he initiates a chain of events over which he has no further control..."
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Military Banter
As quoted by Monty Python,
Wingo Type (big Moustache etc): "Bally Gerry did a whirley, aley ooped and stuck his can in the cinker"
RAF Type: "Pardon"
WT: repeats
RT: "No sorry can you say it slower?"
WT: "Banter! Slower! Never!"
However:
"Munter", been out with some of these, usually after donning "Beer goggles"
"FUBAR"
"SNAFU"
Wingo Type (big Moustache etc): "Bally Gerry did a whirley, aley ooped and stuck his can in the cinker"
RAF Type: "Pardon"
WT: repeats
RT: "No sorry can you say it slower?"
WT: "Banter! Slower! Never!"
However:
"Munter", been out with some of these, usually after donning "Beer goggles"
"FUBAR"
"SNAFU"