Caption competition

[Go Smoke]

OK, time to divvy up I guess.

If I’d been able to submit I think I’d have put the following.



“Famed with the ladies for his ‘stamina’ Cpl Bickers realised with a shudder that this was a double edged sword as the biscuit began to disappear before his eyes”


Honourable mentions go to the following submissions:

Onan the Clumsy

It was an airshow afterall, so why shouldn't the medical branch put on their much talked about "Parts of the Body" display?


adr

The Staish's wife's decision to get her film developed for free only backfired because the boss of the PR section was one of the Staish's golfing buddies. Her assertion that she had no idea how that picture got there collapsed when she smirked as she recalled what had happened next.


An Teallach

The visiting USN pilots' obvious delight on finding the Golden Rivet aboard HMS Ark Royal was to be short-lived.


Toxteth O'Grady

That's quite a small jacuzzi. If we all jump in together people might think we're gay.


But, the winner is:


ACW599

A group of OASC candidates were tasked with establishing the firing order of a single-row radial from first principles. The DS were rather surprised at their approach but awarded high marks for initiative and entertainment value.


Congrats ACW599

Thanks for making me laugh so much everyone.

GS

[Conan the Librarian]

Things pretty dire here - No Private Eye in the post... pi**ing down outside.... New Laptop batt flat after one hour... Bank statement just arrived. Hilarity state nil. Any sign of the next subject picture?

looking forward to more collected mirth from the Pprune caption team
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Bad teeth

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embarrasment

[airborne_artist]

We've had complaints in the past from winners who were too busy at work (shurely shome mishtake) to acknowledge their win and set the next round, so I think we'll have to give ACW599 a day or two more before inviting one of the Highly Commended to stand in.

[ACW599]

Greetings from sunny downtown Shenzhen. Something seems a bit amiss with either the site or the local ISP since I've been watching this thread on and off for a couple of days and it's only just updated -- many thanks to Simon Lord for the tip-off.

Any road up, I'm delighted to have won (bows, scrapes, gracious waving of hands, etc) I but won't be in a position to provide a pic for a week or two until I get back to the office. I thought runner-up Toxteth O Grady's caption was much better than mine, so he is hereby nominated as the supplier of the next item.

[Go Smoke]

Ok, despite a couple of pm's it looks like Toxteth O'Grady has gone to ground.

For the next submission I'd like to nominate An Teallach for "The visiting USN pilots' obvious delight on finding the Golden Rivet aboard HMS Ark Royal was to be short-lived."

Step up to the blocks 'An Teallach'

Go Smoke.

[An Teallach]

Cheers GS. Afraid after much trawling the interweb, the most (potentially) fruitful pic I found was this one. see what you can do with it chaps and chapesses!

[Beeayeate]

"Jet noise is a killer I know, but I wish we had funding for more a modern type of hearing aid. Can you hear me know?"

[engineer(retard)]

But my Mum always used a basin and scissors

[adr]

The conversion in 2017 of the remaining legacy fleet to UAVs by installing animatronic pilot droids was hampered by the need for frequent chip replacement, though this was offset by an improved rapport between aircrew and ground trades.

or

The animatronic pilot droids each required a regular supply of chips. Little had changed.

adr

[BikerMark]

"...and just a gentle tap on this button reboots the autopilot."

[ShyTorque]

Bloggs had never been known for his aptitude or intellect but in the days of ever more swingeing defence cuts, he was the only man whose head would fit into the one remaining pilots' helmet.

Bloggs was later chopped on the night flying phase, as he turned back into a pumpkin at midnight.

[SASless]

Cor' Sah! Nuttin' inside here but lots of little hairy things!

[Toxteth O'Grady]

Lee Bowyer tries the latest Newcastle United protective gear for his next training session with Kieron Dyer.

Go Smoke

Ok, despite a couple of pm's it looks like Toxteth O'Grady has gone to ground.

Apologies, entirely missed my opportunity to post. More than happy to go next; I've got a good piccy for it.



TOG

[Go Smoke]

'His Chief was always bitching about Tornado crews being two faced Bast**ds but he never took it literally until he saw one getting a shave at the barbers.'

or

'With the comms interface in the new JSF overlooked it was considered cheaper to upgrade the crew with the new telepathy module.'

or

'As if trashing the undercarriage wasn't embarrassing enough the final ingominy had to be having the nav's teeth pulled out of his helmet.'

or

'Sgt Frankensteins hands were trembling as he made the final terminations - could it be that this time it would work?'

or

Survival Instructor - "now, if you drive hard upwards at an oblique angle you should be able to sever the brain stem like so - 'Hmmpf' - err oops.........can I have another volunteer please"



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Hi Toxteth,

Maybe we should just run with the latest picture as it has now recieved a few captions. I'm looking forward to seeing your submition in the future though.
Warm Regards,
GS.

[Lafyar Cokov]

The first full sized Action Man's Eagle Eyes were a bugger to open - just when the technician thought he had the end of the bungee, it would spring out of the grip of his pliers...

[diginagain]

You just have to be careful not to over-tighten the spring.

[Milt]

"Hold still will you. I think I have found another one."

or

"Any pilot who thinks he can fly with the cover on his visor and the chin strap undone needs his head examined."

[Darth Nigel]

"So the thin red wire is the comms in, the thin grey wire is comms out, the thin brown wire is comms ground, the thick brown wire is the power line for the heating pad and the thick white wire is the return. Or is it the thick brown wire which is the comms ground and the ... B@llocks, what a day to forget my spectacles"

--or--

Pilot: "Stop complaining, Blacksheep, the chap on eBay said it was practically identical to standard issue."

--or--

"No sir, it's yer imagination. It just feels like the wire's gorn right through and is coming out of yer left ear. "

[Go Smoke]

Taking STOROB to new heights.
The Cannibalisation Chit said "Plt Officer Barker's cerebral cortex for transplant to Plt Officer Wilkes"

[ShyTorque]

Now, I've tightened up the earpices fully, can you hear me, young sir? No? Good! Well in that case you're a pompous lanky tw^t! He,hehe!