Thick passenger comments
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: In transit
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Not on board, but in a travel agency.
A secretary 'phoned to make a booking for her boss :
"Mr. Smit would like a room at the Holiday Inn in Johannesburg from the 14th for 2 nights ..... and he'd like a room with a sea view."
" Err .... sea view ... Johannesburg? "
"Yes, he had one at the Holiday Inn in Durban last month."
A secretary 'phoned to make a booking for her boss :
"Mr. Smit would like a room at the Holiday Inn in Johannesburg from the 14th for 2 nights ..... and he'd like a room with a sea view."
" Err .... sea view ... Johannesburg? "
"Yes, he had one at the Holiday Inn in Durban last month."
Irate pax after tech delay: this delay means I'll miss an important meeting!
Cc: you should worry, I've got a leg of lamb in the oven!
Cc: you should worry, I've got a leg of lamb in the oven!
Aircraft delayed in Manchester overnight due technical fault. Standby stewardess went bananas. Seems she and her partner practised bondage foreplay, and she had left him tied up in the wardrobe, as she was only going to be gone a couple of hours !!
Takes all sorts !
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Denver, CO
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Not Necessarily Thick...
Ex writes:
Seems she and her partner practised bondage foreplay, and she had left him tied up in the wardrobe
Seems she and her partner practised bondage foreplay, and she had left him tied up in the wardrobe
I love this thread, as it makes me feel better about my micro-lapses in common sense and attentiveness when flying. I try very hard not to be a pain in the backside, because I understand how hard the CC work, and feel bad if I miss something (like what's for lunch or dinner) and have to ask about it even though I know it's been explained to the rows directly in front of me, usually because the people around me are making too much noise to hear clearly.
I at least try to be personable, though.
A couple years ago, flying out of DEN in absolutely miserable, cold, windy, wet early winter weather, I shared a good laugh with a F/A as I boarded.
The wind was howling and the jetway was actually humming and vibrating in the wind, with little gusts of wettish wind making its way past the seals.
As I was stepping on, an especially virulent blast of cold wet air came in with me.
I threw my arms wide and looked, wide-eyed, at the F/A unlucky enough to be stationed in this cold, nasty spot.
"Hold me!" I said, and then smiled.
She completely cracked up, and simply nodded down-aisle with an expression that said "thanks, I needed that, now go so I can deal with the idiots soon to come."
Mid-flight as I was making my way to the head, I passed by her - she smiled and said "thank you."
It was a very genuine moment - certainly made my flight better, and prolly made her shift better as well.
I spoke with her briefly on my way out, and she let on that she had dealt with a lot of cranky pax boarding before me, and that my little remark was "the 10 best seconds" of the whole flight.
I think the most important thing one can bring with is one's sense of humor - it's the grease that keeps people from galling and abrading each other.
I enjoy the tales of "thick" a lot, but end up shaking my head at the mean things some pax are reported to have said/done.
It shouldn't be that way.
Crashes are rare enough indeed, but many people need to think how bad would it be to die in one after having been horribly rude or inconsiderate to those around you.
RR
Join Date: Dec 2009
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me: "Sir, do you need a landing card for entry into the US?
pax: "mmmmmmmmmmm I dunno"
me: "Sir, are you a US citizen?"
pax: "no."
me: "Sir, do you hold a green card?"
pax: "mmmmhhhh, I don't think so, BUT I GOT AMEX AND VISA"
pax: "mmmmmmmmmmm I dunno"
me: "Sir, are you a US citizen?"
pax: "no."
me: "Sir, do you hold a green card?"
pax: "mmmmhhhh, I don't think so, BUT I GOT AMEX AND VISA"
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Suffolk
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Works both ways....some years ago whilst flying with Thompsons I was lucky enough to get a seat next to the emergency exit door (no seat in front). Young cc approached on prep for takeoff and says demandingly, "You cannot stick your feet out sir,tuck them under the seat...."
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Not so much a dumb comment as a dumb action - pax recently tried to open the rear emergency door of our B-717 thinking it was the toilet. She even had the bright red plastic shield off and was ready to attack the handle before we intervened. 
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Bondage
The bondage story is correct. Must have been around 1980. It was at Gatwick and the FA was called out for a short European trip, to Brussels or Amsterdam, I don't remember exactly. The local Plod had to be called to release the poor fellow. Imagine being tied up in a darkened cupboard when you hear Size 12s pounding up the stairs!
However, the episode was reported in 'The Log' at the time, with a competition for the wittiest message from the Captain to the Airline explaining the predicament.
However, the episode was reported in 'The Log' at the time, with a competition for the wittiest message from the Captain to the Airline explaining the predicament.
Join Date: Oct 2007
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Tea or coffee?
Slightly unrelated as not a thick comment (I haven't asked this on any of the flights I've been on as a passenger), but why does no-one ever have anything other than tea or coffee? 
I almost understand the silly 'do you have hot chocolate?' question after only tea or coffee has been offered...
I almost understand the silly 'do you have hot chocolate?' question after only tea or coffee has been offered...
Join Date: Sep 2006
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I ask for it (Hot Chocolate that is), but then I know I can.
Sometimes I even ask for a decaffinated tea depending on the time of day and airline/route.
(Or course I expect it to take longer to prepare than a simple batch of tea and coffee).
Sometimes I even ask for a decaffinated tea depending on the time of day and airline/route.
(Or course I expect it to take longer to prepare than a simple batch of tea and coffee).
Join Date: May 2002
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We only carry tea / coffee in economy. Business class have a selection of fruit and herbal teas. If you want a hot chocolate, you'll have to ask VERY nicely, and I might raid my personal stash. Nothing stopping you bringing your favourite brand on board and asking for some hot water.
Join Date: Feb 2009
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Virgin Atlantic flight PVG-LHR. I went to the galley, "could I have two vodkas please". How stupid was that? Was told I could only have one at a time. Gave it to my girlfriend then went back for mine.
Virgin Atlantic flight MCO-MAN. Travelling alone and asked if I could have two vodkas but didn't mind if they were one at a time as Virgin's policy is one drink only. "Might be on the Heathrow flights but this one's going to Manchester". The crew on the Manchester flight were the best I have ever met, the crew on the Heathrow flight, the most ignorant.
Virgin Atlantic flight MCO-MAN. Travelling alone and asked if I could have two vodkas but didn't mind if they were one at a time as Virgin's policy is one drink only. "Might be on the Heathrow flights but this one's going to Manchester". The crew on the Manchester flight were the best I have ever met, the crew on the Heathrow flight, the most ignorant.
Join Date: Feb 2010
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Don't spoil your dinner..
On a similar note to the vodka story.. not quite a thick comment, but i was certainly made to feel a bit dumb! Flying back from MBJ in club, post take off drinks being brought round. Glass of bubbly with obligatory bag of nuts which were macadamias which i HATE. Hungry from not having eaten for 6 hours, and having seen another passenger ask for and receive a bag of crisps from the larder with their drink, when my crew lady finally came round, i politely ventured a request for some crisps with my drink..
the answer...
"No, we will be serving dinner soon".
That was me put in my place!
the answer...
"No, we will be serving dinner soon".
That was me put in my place!
Join Date: Feb 2008
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What's with the pax on boarding that bark their seat number at you when all you've actually said to them is 'Hello' or 'Welcome on board'?
Some pax feel that when CC tell them the seat number which is written on their ticket, it implies that the passenger is too stupid to read it themselves. Of course sometimes that is true.
A few years back I boarded and managed to get a row one seat on an early morning Ryanair flight from PIK-BVA. I could hear the CC querying the head count as bodies didn't match the number that passed through the gate. Five minutes later a rather sheepish looking chap wandered across the pan from the RAF Tristar parked next to us. He had somehow managed to miss-identify his plane in the dark, boarded and sat down!
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Checking heads
I have often wondered why, when an aircraft is almost full, the CC count the heads - would it not be easier to count the empty seats?
bizdev
bizdev
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On a plane with 150 seats and 148 passengers the attendants will always count the passengers and not the empty seats. They do this at all airlines all over the world. Nobody knows why. If you ask them they will answer something about infants or pax in the lav or just mumble something incomprehensible. So sadly we will never know.