Thick passenger comments
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: United Kingdom
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The things (some) cabin crew say...
Before I share my story with you all, let me make it clear that I fly enough to realise that not all CC are like this individual.
I was sat on the back row of a 738 flight back from Sharm el Sheikh, along with the group I had being diving with. Fortunately we are frequent fliers and have a sense of humour.
The fun started a few minutes before TO when the 2 CC seated in the aft galley drew the curtain. The young lady CC in question clearly thought the curtain was soundproof, and for the next quarter of an hour she loudly chatted away to her colleague.
First we were treated to the story of her missing lipstick, including a blow by blow description of each shop she had visited until finally she found just the right shade of colour. She then explained how said lipstick had rolled under a trolley in the galley on TO, and disappeared through a gap into the fuselage a few weeks ago. She had looked for it on subsequent flights but not found it. Let's just hope it isn't wedged into anything too important then...
Next we were treated to an explanation of why she wasn't afraid to die in a plane crash (although apparently her mum worries ever so much, even though "I have told her it would be very quick and I wouldn't feel a thing").
Unfortunately we were deprived of any more pearls wisdom as the CC were released after TO.
CC
I was sat on the back row of a 738 flight back from Sharm el Sheikh, along with the group I had being diving with. Fortunately we are frequent fliers and have a sense of humour.
The fun started a few minutes before TO when the 2 CC seated in the aft galley drew the curtain. The young lady CC in question clearly thought the curtain was soundproof, and for the next quarter of an hour she loudly chatted away to her colleague.
First we were treated to the story of her missing lipstick, including a blow by blow description of each shop she had visited until finally she found just the right shade of colour. She then explained how said lipstick had rolled under a trolley in the galley on TO, and disappeared through a gap into the fuselage a few weeks ago. She had looked for it on subsequent flights but not found it. Let's just hope it isn't wedged into anything too important then...
Next we were treated to an explanation of why she wasn't afraid to die in a plane crash (although apparently her mum worries ever so much, even though "I have told her it would be very quick and I wouldn't feel a thing").
Unfortunately we were deprived of any more pearls wisdom as the CC were released after TO.
CC
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Flying from Singapore to Sydney a few years back, after take off Captain makes a pa to pax about en route weather expected time of arrival etc.
Finishes pa by saying just about to fly over the equator and if you look carefully you'll be able to see the red line which circles the earth and is the equator..cue 300 odd pax straining to see the red line, one of which was clearly heard to say.."ooh look..you can see it!!"
Finishes pa by saying just about to fly over the equator and if you look carefully you'll be able to see the red line which circles the earth and is the equator..cue 300 odd pax straining to see the red line, one of which was clearly heard to say.."ooh look..you can see it!!"
Manila, flying to FRA on LH flight via BKK. Need ticket to enter terminal, security guy looks at ticket and utters word, me hard of hearing mutters nice words in response and enter. Can't find LH check in counter.......strange, they normally open two hours ahead of ETD. Double check board, hmmm flight departure time much later than expected, much like the departure time for direct flights MNL-FRA, but.....but that's on odd, not even days. Re-check ticket, check watch. Bummer, flight was yesterday!
Very nice lady at check-in, very polite, hardly laughed..............much.
On business ticket, day saved. Wifey bit ticket off when I showed up one day late.
Per
Very nice lady at check-in, very polite, hardly laughed..............much.
On business ticket, day saved. Wifey bit ticket off when I showed up one day late.
Per
Join Date: Jul 2008
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Its not only the SLF who say daft things!
Once had CC ask me " Would you like the meat or the fish?"
I replied "I'll have the fish".
"The fish has all gone" was her quick reply!
I said " Is this your first flight?"
Her surprised reply " Yes it is - How do you know? "
LOL
Once had CC ask me " Would you like the meat or the fish?"
I replied "I'll have the fish".
"The fish has all gone" was her quick reply!
I said " Is this your first flight?"
Her surprised reply " Yes it is - How do you know? "
LOL
Join Date: Nov 2001
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Its not only the SLF who say daft things!
Once had CC ask me " Would you like the meat or the fish?"
I replied "I'll have the fish".
"The fish has all gone" was her quick reply!
I said " Is this your first flight?"
Her surprised reply " Yes it is - How do you know? "
LOL
Once had CC ask me " Would you like the meat or the fish?"
I replied "I'll have the fish".
"The fish has all gone" was her quick reply!
I said " Is this your first flight?"
Her surprised reply " Yes it is - How do you know? "
LOL
I very often do this, had you said you wanted the meat then she wouldn't have had to disappoint you. People seem to get a tad ticked off if you tell them they have no choice, but if they happen to pick the option that you have left in the trolley then everyone's a winner!
Join Date: Dec 2004
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i am a sccm based in lpl.every now and again we operate lpl~bfs~lpl~bfs~lpl~bfs~lpl.
its not unknown for me to forget which airport we are landing into and have a 'brain fart'.
i always try and remember this when a pax has a 'brain fart'.
and try not to laugh to much!.
we are all human,we all make mistakes and sometimes say the funniest thinks!.
sometimes i dont know if i get a bigger laugh from pax or crew!.
its not unknown for me to forget which airport we are landing into and have a 'brain fart'.
i always try and remember this when a pax has a 'brain fart'.
and try not to laugh to much!.
we are all human,we all make mistakes and sometimes say the funniest thinks!.
sometimes i dont know if i get a bigger laugh from pax or crew!.
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Hilarious
I have a friend that pilots a 1900 Beechcraft, and a few years ago was transporting a few American pax...
In the cruise, this one woman suddenly started screaming her lungs out... "OMG, OMG... WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!! THE ENGINE'S FALLEN OFF!!!!!"
After the pilot calmed himself & this glorious screamer down... turns out, she just couldn't see the propeller blades anymore, and gave her the illusion that the engine had 'disappeared' or in her case... 'fallen off'...
Uhm, yeah... Engine no.2 gracefully fluttered off like a butterfly without anyone noticing... particularly not something that'll happen subtly...
That was hilarious! I laughed for a few days after hearing that... Don't you just love them... Pure Bliss! Lol lol lol
In the cruise, this one woman suddenly started screaming her lungs out... "OMG, OMG... WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!! THE ENGINE'S FALLEN OFF!!!!!"
After the pilot calmed himself & this glorious screamer down... turns out, she just couldn't see the propeller blades anymore, and gave her the illusion that the engine had 'disappeared' or in her case... 'fallen off'...
Uhm, yeah... Engine no.2 gracefully fluttered off like a butterfly without anyone noticing... particularly not something that'll happen subtly...
That was hilarious! I laughed for a few days after hearing that... Don't you just love them... Pure Bliss! Lol lol lol
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Here's a pax you want to fly with...
This guy wrote a review on EY on Skytrax... early in his post he makes a good point about exit rows etc... but then I read THIS gem...
What a tool!!!
One other thing. On each leg of the journey we were told our choice of food was not available. Neither my wife or myself liked the remaining option. The FA apologised but said there was nothing she could do. She 'couldn't give us what she didn't have'. I pointed out that there were around a dozen cabin crew onboard and at least two of them must be having what my wife and I wanted. After about 15 minutes she came back and said that we could have crew meals. After another 30 minutes we finally got what we wanted.
Join Date: Jun 2008
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female passenger on Tenerife Charter flight when advised that delay to departure was caused by the unexpected winter weather, worst snow storm in years and subsequent lack of de-icing fluid due to the suppliers running out after pumping the stuff for hours.
Airline Duty Manager; (0400hrs flight had been due off at 2330hrs)
"I am terribly sorry we are doing everything we can to solve the problem and get your aircraft ready for departure. Unfortunately we have exhausted our supplies of de-icing fluid, our Engineering staff are doing all they can to locate additional supplies. We will have further information for you in 1 hour"
Female Passenger (whilst being restrained by Airport Police after threatening the Airline Duty Manager);
"Ah! don't give us that sh
t ya muppet why don't ya just send one of yar wee goafers down to HALFORDS and buy another couple of cans"
Airline Duty Manager; (0400hrs flight had been due off at 2330hrs)
"I am terribly sorry we are doing everything we can to solve the problem and get your aircraft ready for departure. Unfortunately we have exhausted our supplies of de-icing fluid, our Engineering staff are doing all they can to locate additional supplies. We will have further information for you in 1 hour"
Female Passenger (whilst being restrained by Airport Police after threatening the Airline Duty Manager);
"Ah! don't give us that sh
t ya muppet why don't ya just send one of yar wee goafers down to HALFORDS and buy another couple of cans"
Join Date: Dec 2006
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I LOVE it when pax moan about the weather. If they are willing to risk flying with no de-icer and in snow and fog etc lets shove them all on a plane together and set it to auto-pilot.
Seriously, I think they would rather us take off and die. They would be the first ones to complain if they were dead. If they could.
Seriously, I think they would rather us take off and die. They would be the first ones to complain if they were dead. If they could.
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I know this is an echo of previous threads but I recently came across this on a flight from Sydney to Perth.
Unfortunately our Catering dep are trying to cut costs in food wastage which results in us explaining to passengers nearly every flight, that we are sold out.
Pax: Hi, 2 x Chicken Wraps, an OJ, a Coke, a Mars Bar and a packet of chips.
Me: I'm sorry we have run out of Chicken Wraps and all Sandwiches however, we do have Cheese & Crackers, Muffins, Hot Noodles if you are looking for something substantial?
Pax: "NO SANDWICHES?"
Me: "Yes I'm afraid, I do apologise, perhapsI can get you something else I mentioned?"
Pax: "So you don't have any sandwiches"
Me: "No I'm sorry we do not"
Pax: "Are you sure? You have no sandwiches?"
Me: "I'm sorry sir there are no sandwiches left. All sold out"
Pax: "Do you have a Ham Cheese & Tomato Sandwich?"
Me: "Sir we're sold out of ALL sandwiches, I can get you some Cheese & Crackers or a Muffin"
Pax: "So no Ham Cheese & Tomato Sandwiches?"
Me: Wondering how long this is going to go on for! Gives pax look as if to say "your starting to sh*t me now.
Pax: "Ugh this happens all the time! This airline is hopeless"
Me thinking shouldn't you have flown enough times before and learned last time to buy something in the terminal?
Unfortunately our Catering dep are trying to cut costs in food wastage which results in us explaining to passengers nearly every flight, that we are sold out.
Pax: Hi, 2 x Chicken Wraps, an OJ, a Coke, a Mars Bar and a packet of chips.
Me: I'm sorry we have run out of Chicken Wraps and all Sandwiches however, we do have Cheese & Crackers, Muffins, Hot Noodles if you are looking for something substantial?
Pax: "NO SANDWICHES?"
Me: "Yes I'm afraid, I do apologise, perhapsI can get you something else I mentioned?"
Pax: "So you don't have any sandwiches"
Me: "No I'm sorry we do not"
Pax: "Are you sure? You have no sandwiches?"
Me: "I'm sorry sir there are no sandwiches left. All sold out"
Pax: "Do you have a Ham Cheese & Tomato Sandwich?"
Me: "Sir we're sold out of ALL sandwiches, I can get you some Cheese & Crackers or a Muffin"
Pax: "So no Ham Cheese & Tomato Sandwiches?"
Me: Wondering how long this is going to go on for! Gives pax look as if to say "your starting to sh*t me now.
Pax: "Ugh this happens all the time! This airline is hopeless"
Me thinking shouldn't you have flown enough times before and learned last time to buy something in the terminal?
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Passenger on Charter Flight when aked if she would like a hot towel replies;
"sure dear I don't mind helping you out if you're busy" she then proceeds to use the towel to wipe down the tray and seat back as she turns to her husband beside her and says "these poor girls work so hard and imagine the airline expecting them to clean all these tables as well tut tut"
"sure dear I don't mind helping you out if you're busy" she then proceeds to use the towel to wipe down the tray and seat back as she turns to her husband beside her and says "these poor girls work so hard and imagine the airline expecting them to clean all these tables as well tut tut"
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Also not so nice SLF
As my GF is a flight attendent (engineer myself) she came across a rude pax a while ago, this bloke and his mates got on board already a bit pissed, once in their seats, the bag with beer soon came out and they cont'd drinking (still at the gate), when he was asked to put his seat upright and please put the drink away he told her : you F#&#ng b!!ch you are here so serve me and not command me around, he said this in Polish, not knowing that she speaks Polish, so after talking to the No1 and the capt he was nicely offloaded, being pissed and abusive as a reason, needles to say that his mates went silent, and behaved like good schoolboys. Just a shame that sometimes the groundstaff lets these people thru and is not more on the case.
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yesterday, A321, doors 2, after take-off
Pax Excuse me, is this noise going to carry on for thw whole flight?Its terrible!
Me I hope so, Madam
She (petrified) Why is that then?
Me Because that's the engines!
Couldnt make it up!
Pax Excuse me, is this noise going to carry on for thw whole flight?Its terrible!
Me I hope so, Madam
She (petrified) Why is that then?
Me Because that's the engines!
Couldnt make it up!
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Great one "Bondim"
Love CC put downs !
Years ago flying back from JHB to a city called "Salisbury" in a country named "Rhodesia" in an Air Rhodesia Viscount just a couple of weeks after one had been taken out the sky by a Sam7, I was sat next to a very mouthy American.
"Godamn place this Africa, only here because my company sent me, how you can sit on an old crate like this is beyond me"
At this point all the cabin and nav lights go out.
My American friend pushes attendant button.
Air hostess arrives "Yes Sir may I help you ?"
"Why have the godamn lights gone out, fuse blown I suppose ?"
"No Sir it is a safety procedure to make us less vunerable to a terrorist guided missile attack"
American looks at me "She takin' the p***"
"No she is dead serious - they got one of these two weeks ago"
Silence all the way home !!
Love CC put downs !
Years ago flying back from JHB to a city called "Salisbury" in a country named "Rhodesia" in an Air Rhodesia Viscount just a couple of weeks after one had been taken out the sky by a Sam7, I was sat next to a very mouthy American.
"Godamn place this Africa, only here because my company sent me, how you can sit on an old crate like this is beyond me"
At this point all the cabin and nav lights go out.
My American friend pushes attendant button.
Air hostess arrives "Yes Sir may I help you ?"
"Why have the godamn lights gone out, fuse blown I suppose ?"
"No Sir it is a safety procedure to make us less vunerable to a terrorist guided missile attack"
American looks at me "She takin' the p***"
"No she is dead serious - they got one of these two weeks ago"
Silence all the way home !!
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Me: Excuse me sir, please can you remove your headphones and put your seat upright for me? *said with a smile*
Pax: (Grumpy looking man) Glared at me and refused.
Me: I''m afraid we won't be able to take off until you do *still being smiley and pleasant*
Me: Because if we have to evacuate the aircraft you will need to be able to hear my shouted commands. Also having your seatback reclined may impede the escape of the passenger behind you and you willl not be able to adopt the brace position correctly.
Pax: If the plane crashes I'll be dead anyway won't I?
Me: Actually sir, 90% of accidents are survivable.
He did what I asked him and fell asleep. Looking on the PIL he was a silver card frequent flyer...I wonder if he tried to keep his headphones in and seat reclined on all flights? He seemed quite an unpleasant man. No great loss to the world there!
Pax: (Grumpy looking man) Glared at me and refused.
Me: I''m afraid we won't be able to take off until you do *still being smiley and pleasant*
Me: Because if we have to evacuate the aircraft you will need to be able to hear my shouted commands. Also having your seatback reclined may impede the escape of the passenger behind you and you willl not be able to adopt the brace position correctly.
Pax: If the plane crashes I'll be dead anyway won't I?
Me: Actually sir, 90% of accidents are survivable.
He did what I asked him and fell asleep. Looking on the PIL he was a silver card frequent flyer...I wonder if he tried to keep his headphones in and seat reclined on all flights?
He seemed quite an unpleasant man. No great loss to the world there!
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This was said to me a couple of years ago by a "nervous" passenger - it is the honest truth!
PAX to ME "Have you ever been involved in any fatal crashes?"
ME to PAX (after a short pause) "I wouldn't have thought so, would you?!"
PAX to ME "Have you ever been involved in any fatal crashes?"
ME to PAX (after a short pause) "I wouldn't have thought so, would you?!"