Thick passenger comments
what was it about the passenger concerned that made it apparent that he was from Yorkshire
Join Date: Sep 2003
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The best I ever had was a passenger who called me and asked me to let the pilots know that we were not moving....36,000ft above France!! Admittedly it was an overcast day and all we could see was a sea of low clouds....but still!!!!! 
Join Date: Feb 2001
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My sister assures me that the 747 on which she flew to Hong Kong 'hovered' for 10 minutes before landing.
The same sister also assures me that in the US they drive on the left, the same as in the UK. When I challenged her I was told I didn't know what I was talking about and that she had driven 2000 miles on the left during a two week holiday. I commented that I was surprised she survived to tell the tale.
When we were viewing some old family 'cine' films, the same sister, when I commented that part of it was when Dad went to Lagos, said it was when he went to New York. As it was a Nigeria Airways 'plane I said he was going to Lagos. No, she said, why couldn't he have gone to New York on Nigeria Airways (from London). Then there was a shot in the street of obviously West African people on location, but she insisted it was New York - "there are black people in New York too, you know."
Finally, when we saw a bus that said : 'Lagos Muncipal Transport' on the side, she said : "You always have to be bloody right."
The same sister also assures me that in the US they drive on the left, the same as in the UK. When I challenged her I was told I didn't know what I was talking about and that she had driven 2000 miles on the left during a two week holiday. I commented that I was surprised she survived to tell the tale.
When we were viewing some old family 'cine' films, the same sister, when I commented that part of it was when Dad went to Lagos, said it was when he went to New York. As it was a Nigeria Airways 'plane I said he was going to Lagos. No, she said, why couldn't he have gone to New York on Nigeria Airways (from London). Then there was a shot in the street of obviously West African people on location, but she insisted it was New York - "there are black people in New York too, you know."
Finally, when we saw a bus that said : 'Lagos Muncipal Transport' on the side, she said : "You always have to be bloody right."
Join Date: Dec 2006
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An American lady asks me after take off out of LHR....
Lady - "excuse me Sir, but why did your Queen build her Castle so darn close to the airport?"
Me- " Oh I can only presume she is a plane spotter"
I then walked off in disbelief
Lady - "excuse me Sir, but why did your Queen build her Castle so darn close to the airport?"
Me- " Oh I can only presume she is a plane spotter"
I then walked off in disbelief
Rotate on this!
Join Date: Jan 2004
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"An American lady asks me after take off out of LHR....
Lady - "excuse me Sir, but why did your Queen build her Castle so darn close to the airport?"
Me- " Oh I can only presume she is a plane spotter"
I then walked off in disbelief"
My my, this gets said an awful lot.
Lady - "excuse me Sir, but why did your Queen build her Castle so darn close to the airport?"
Me- " Oh I can only presume she is a plane spotter"
I then walked off in disbelief"
My my, this gets said an awful lot.
Join Date: Jun 2002
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On an overbooked flight, passengers at the gate were offered £250 cash, the current flight for free flight plus HOTAC and a guarantee to fly the following day. The required number accepted and boarding commenced. After boarding was completed, somebody asked if it was too late to accept the offer.
PM
PM
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Stuck in the snow a few years ago, the pax have been on board for hours, the airport is shut and the buses can't remove them as the aprons are snow covered. Everyone getting a little tetchy, when a Dutch lady elects to use the forward loo. She emerges within seconds and announces at the top of her voice to the whole cabin, "There ish a very big **** in there." Lightened the atmosphere for a while.
Piltdown man, this is probably a stupid question (in keeping with the thread) but,
I understand the cash, hotel and next day guarantee, but what does "the current flight for free flight" mean? Do you mean the original cost of the ticket refunded? If so it sounds like a good deal, I would have taken it. Before boarding.
On an overbooked flight, passengers at the gate were offered £250 cash, the current flight for free flight plus HOTAC and a guarantee to fly the following day
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Do you mean the original cost of the ticket refunded?
PM
Join Date: Jun 1999
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On a flight I was operating a CC member shared this experience with the crew and made me laugh.
A well dressed lady and her daughter were making their way through the business class cabin into the economy cabin to take their seats. The lady turned to her daughter in front of a CC member and said,
'Darling, if you dont work hard at school and get good grades you will be doing that for a living...' looking at the CC.
As cool as a cucumber the CC member came back with, looking at the child..
'if Daddy had worked harder at school yourself and mummy would be sitting this side of the curtain (looking into the business class cabin), your seat 28 A and B madam' ...
Made me smile
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A well dressed lady and her daughter were making their way through the business class cabin into the economy cabin to take their seats. The lady turned to her daughter in front of a CC member and said,
'Darling, if you dont work hard at school and get good grades you will be doing that for a living...' looking at the CC.
As cool as a cucumber the CC member came back with, looking at the child..
'if Daddy had worked harder at school yourself and mummy would be sitting this side of the curtain (looking into the business class cabin), your seat 28 A and B madam' ...
Made me smile
.
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Are we allowed stories about dimwit CC?
Many years ago FCC in flightdeck wants take a picture of the full moon. Winding her up the flight engineer says that the picture probably won't come out very well as it is dark outside. Quick as a flash (pun intended) she replies that it will be ok because she has put her camera on "flash".
Many years ago FCC in flightdeck wants take a picture of the full moon. Winding her up the flight engineer says that the picture probably won't come out very well as it is dark outside. Quick as a flash (pun intended) she replies that it will be ok because she has put her camera on "flash".
Join Date: Aug 2006
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Lady - "excuse me Sir, but why did your Queen build her Castle so darn close to the airport?"
My my, this gets said an awful lot.
My my, this gets said an awful lot.
Went to Windsor Castle yesterday for a tour and the guide told us that the number of Amuricans who really do ask that question (Why did HMQ build...) is stupendously high.
Mind you who thought it was a good idea to build an airport so that flights taking off go over the castle??
Mind you who thought it was a good idea to build an airport so that flights taking off go over the castle??
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Did you have this man as Guide ? Watch as after 1 minute he talks about the aircraft . Four parts but IMHO very funny, he doesnot like children and is a bit naughty re blond women
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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overheard this on a flight.
cc making small talk to eldery couple.
cc: so where are you from?
old man: winnepeg
old woman (hard of hearing i guess): what did he say?
om: he asked where we were from?
cc: my ex wife was from there. we got divorced because she liked to chase other men.
ow: what did he say?
om: he thinks he was married to your grand daughter!
made me chuckle.
cc making small talk to eldery couple.
cc: so where are you from?
old man: winnepeg
old woman (hard of hearing i guess): what did he say?
om: he asked where we were from?
cc: my ex wife was from there. we got divorced because she liked to chase other men.
ow: what did he say?
om: he thinks he was married to your grand daughter!
made me chuckle.
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Leaving the flightdeck for a "comfort break" in Londonderry or Derry, as you see fit, the crew were entertaining a little old lady waiting for help to leave the aircraft. Lovely old dear.
l was almost by when she mentioned that her husband had been dead for 27 years - to be frank, l thought l really don`t need this sob story - when she said " and that was the best 27 years of my life, he wasn`t a very nice man you know "
l nearly wet myself.
l was almost by when she mentioned that her husband had been dead for 27 years - to be frank, l thought l really don`t need this sob story - when she said " and that was the best 27 years of my life, he wasn`t a very nice man you know "
l nearly wet myself.
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Me trying to make small talk with a couple on a night flight just passing a beautiful thunderstorm. I'm telling them about how I have seen the Aurora Borialis and other wonderful natural phenomena during my years of flying, and asking them if they have seen any interesting natural phenomena. The wife says: Yes, well, we have been to the Taj Mahal, haven't we, darling? 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Not a good idea
I was travelling recently from yyz to dxb on Emirates business class. Shortly after take off, i decided to take out my ipad and headsets and watch Air Accident Investigation ( not a good idea i hear you say).
Having turned my seat to a bed, my eyes started closing and eventually i fell asleep, but still my ipad played on and headsets still on my ears... Suddenly i heard the following " ladies and Gentlemen this is an emergency, the plane will be ditching in the sea etc etc etc..."... Forgetting that i still had the ipad on, and thinking that this was an announcement on my flight, i jumped out of the seat/bed in horror... With a thousand things going through my mind... To my delight, the cabin was dark, everyone was asleep, the plane was still flying normally and the headset was still on my head..
Did i learn anything from this? No, because i still watch the same program when flying
Having turned my seat to a bed, my eyes started closing and eventually i fell asleep, but still my ipad played on and headsets still on my ears... Suddenly i heard the following " ladies and Gentlemen this is an emergency, the plane will be ditching in the sea etc etc etc..."... Forgetting that i still had the ipad on, and thinking that this was an announcement on my flight, i jumped out of the seat/bed in horror... With a thousand things going through my mind... To my delight, the cabin was dark, everyone was asleep, the plane was still flying normally and the headset was still on my head..
Did i learn anything from this? No, because i still watch the same program when flying