Thick passenger comments
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: any town as retired.
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Not a stupid question at all
Many years ago, at a small airport with many restrictions, we had to delay a flight for boarding due to a strong wind component. Since the restrictions (runway slope, etc) only allowed take off in a certain direction, the wind on this day was blowing in the "wrong" direction for take off and thus the flight was grounded until it either calmed down or changed. One particular loud American lady was making herself know throughout the event and eventually piped up with the most seriously demanding question - almost shouting:
"So WHEN is the wind gonna change direciton??" ..
The wind very often changes direction just before sunset, and just after sunrive, very common.
This is used by many operators, as a window for heavier weight take offs.
So not so stupid.....
Glf
"So WHEN is the wind gonna change direciton??" ..
The wind very often changes direction just before sunset, and just after sunrive, very common.
This is used by many operators, as a window for heavier weight take offs.
So not so stupid.....
Glf
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Ok, you may as well have mine, I was but a huble tea boy at Manchester in T1 in 1990 for SAS Service Partner, was there for a summer.
Peeople pushing trays along the tray run to the till, loaded up with tea and cakes, then pushing them off the end onto their feet, will never forget a massive fat woman in a Shell Suit having dumped a litre or so of hot tea onto her fat trotters shouting "F*ck f*ck F*" at the top of her voice and doing a silly dance.
Whne the PIA flight was going 350 people on the plane and five times that seeing them off, mainly from Bradford, they used to ask for drinks in a broad Bradford accent, asking for four "Cokes" came out as "Four Corks", so we had a pile of wine bottle Corks ready to dispense, being the smart arse minimum wage twallops we were.
Every day some hapless pillock would select part of the display from the top of the counter, this involved plaster of paris Crosissants, varnished with a piece of green felt glued underneath and a manufactueres label, not even that realistic to look at there on the top glistening with a few Coffee beans around to look rustic and appetising but apparently realistic enough to fool holidaymakers, even though they weighed about 8 timmes what a normal Croissant weighs, I used to politely inform them of their error when they asked where the butter for them was, then I just got bored and waited until the sheepishly reappeared with it having had a good gnaw on it
Peeople pushing trays along the tray run to the till, loaded up with tea and cakes, then pushing them off the end onto their feet, will never forget a massive fat woman in a Shell Suit having dumped a litre or so of hot tea onto her fat trotters shouting "F*ck f*ck F*" at the top of her voice and doing a silly dance.
Whne the PIA flight was going 350 people on the plane and five times that seeing them off, mainly from Bradford, they used to ask for drinks in a broad Bradford accent, asking for four "Cokes" came out as "Four Corks", so we had a pile of wine bottle Corks ready to dispense, being the smart arse minimum wage twallops we were.
Every day some hapless pillock would select part of the display from the top of the counter, this involved plaster of paris Crosissants, varnished with a piece of green felt glued underneath and a manufactueres label, not even that realistic to look at there on the top glistening with a few Coffee beans around to look rustic and appetising but apparently realistic enough to fool holidaymakers, even though they weighed about 8 timmes what a normal Croissant weighs, I used to politely inform them of their error when they asked where the butter for them was, then I just got bored and waited until the sheepishly reappeared with it having had a good gnaw on it
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Not a stupid question at all
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Many years ago, at a small airport with many restrictions, we had to delay a flight for boarding due to a strong wind component. Since the restrictions (runway slope, etc) only allowed take off in a certain direction, the wind on this day was blowing in the "wrong" direction for take off and thus the flight was grounded until it either calmed down or changed. One particular loud American lady was making herself know throughout the event and eventually piped up with the most seriously demanding question - almost shouting:
"So WHEN is the wind gonna change direciton??" ..
The wind very often changes direction just before sunset, and just after sunrive, very common.
This is used by many operators, as a window for heavier weight take offs.
So not so stupid.....
Glf
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago, at a small airport with many restrictions, we had to delay a flight for boarding due to a strong wind component. Since the restrictions (runway slope, etc) only allowed take off in a certain direction, the wind on this day was blowing in the "wrong" direction for take off and thus the flight was grounded until it either calmed down or changed. One particular loud American lady was making herself know throughout the event and eventually piped up with the most seriously demanding question - almost shouting:
"So WHEN is the wind gonna change direciton??" ..
The wind very often changes direction just before sunset, and just after sunrive, very common.
This is used by many operators, as a window for heavier weight take offs.
So not so stupid.....
Glf
What if it didn't change at sunset (which was a few hours from current time)? This can't be predicted accurately! lol ...
Point is one would not have been able to give the pax a correct answer (which a passenger would hold you to and blame you if it didnt work out and make it even worse!!)... as wanted to know now! Even the cockpit crew shook their heads at this one - they were sitting nearby hearing all this. Tower could not even assist with accurate TAF/MET at the time...
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Today on my flight and I'm still confused 
Me: "That's £6.75 for the drinks please"
Pax : "There's £10.15"
Me: "Why have you given me 15 pence?"
Pax: "Because that's all the change I have"
Me: "That's £6.75 for the drinks please"
Pax : "There's £10.15"
Me: "Why have you given me 15 pence?"
Pax: "Because that's all the change I have"
Join Date: Feb 2001
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Some peoples' idea of geography leaves a lot to be desired. On a flight from LHR - HOU as we tracked over the southern tip of Iceland or Greenland (I've forgotten which it was) the couple next to me were discussing whether it was New Zealand or Norway ..... and decided it must be New Zealand!
Was watching a rerun of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' last night.
Question :
"Which of these is a state on the East coast of the USA :
Maryland, California, Washington, Oregon?"
Contestant : "I am fairly sure it's California, but I'll use a lifeline and ask the audience."
Audience :
California : 33%
Washington : 38%
Oregon : 8 %
Maryland : 21%
Contestant : "I'll go 50/50.
Remaining answers :
California / Maryland
Contestant : "I'll go for California"
Fortunately he left with only £1000 .... I hope he invested it in an atlas. Washington at least has some kind of logic to it, even if wrong ... but California .. East Coast ......!
Was watching a rerun of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' last night.
Question :
"Which of these is a state on the East coast of the USA :
Maryland, California, Washington, Oregon?"
Contestant : "I am fairly sure it's California, but I'll use a lifeline and ask the audience."
Audience :
California : 33%
Washington : 38%
Oregon : 8 %
Maryland : 21%
Contestant : "I'll go 50/50.
Remaining answers :
California / Maryland
Contestant : "I'll go for California"
Fortunately he left with only £1000 .... I hope he invested it in an atlas. Washington at least has some kind of logic to it, even if wrong ... but California .. East Coast ......!
Join Date: May 2010
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Not exactly thick passenger 'comment' but I always have a silent laugh when some wally takes a photo of 'Paris/Buenos aires/London by night' from 41,000 feet and wonder why all they get is a reflection of their own camera in the glass.
You also have to try and fill the window reflection with your own body when you take the picture.
English is my wife's second language. We went on a cruise once, and the second we reached our cabin she asked where the clock was.
Me: I guess they figure folks on cruises aren't too worried about the time.
Her: But where's the clock?
Me: You brought your little travel alarm, and I'm sure we could get a wakeup call if we needed one.
Her: But there's supposed to be a clock.
Me: Well, there isn't one. Why does it matter?
Her: The brochure says they serve sandwiches around the clock.
Me: I guess they figure folks on cruises aren't too worried about the time.
Her: But where's the clock?
Me: You brought your little travel alarm, and I'm sure we could get a wakeup call if we needed one.
Her: But there's supposed to be a clock.
Me: Well, there isn't one. Why does it matter?
Her: The brochure says they serve sandwiches around the clock.
Join Date: Jul 2010
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short dress
Winter 2009 domestic flight DUS-TXL
Woman covered in a blanket boards and asks
w: Can you tell the captain to turn up the heat im cold
me: Sure thing and don´t worry ma´am, once we close up the door it´ll get warm and cozy
after take-off, cabin temparature very nice... Bing..cabin call by same woman
me: Yes ma´am can i do something for you
w: I´m still very cold did you tell the captain to turn up the heat?
me: Yes ma´am, if you are still cold i can fetch you another blanket and bring you a hot tea if you like?
w: no just the blanket please
Reaching my station i call up the captain:
CPT:Warmer?
me:errr oh yeah please
After bringing her the blanket she gets up to get something out of the bin and drops her own blanket only for me to discover that she is just wearing a short dress of the kind you would normally wear during warm days.
All i thought was that she probably saved the fur to wear on sunnier days in mid June....
Woman covered in a blanket boards and asks
w: Can you tell the captain to turn up the heat im cold
me: Sure thing and don´t worry ma´am, once we close up the door it´ll get warm and cozy
after take-off, cabin temparature very nice... Bing..cabin call by same woman
me: Yes ma´am can i do something for you
w: I´m still very cold did you tell the captain to turn up the heat?
me: Yes ma´am, if you are still cold i can fetch you another blanket and bring you a hot tea if you like?
w: no just the blanket please
Reaching my station i call up the captain:
CPT:Warmer?
me:errr oh yeah please
After bringing her the blanket she gets up to get something out of the bin and drops her own blanket only for me to discover that she is just wearing a short dress of the kind you would normally wear during warm days.
All i thought was that she probably saved the fur to wear on sunnier days in mid June....
I did it and I need to confess it.
Some years ago a friend of mine decided to make true his dream to visit the tomb of Jim Morisson of Doors at a Paris cemetery (I hope the name is correct). I decided to go along since it was an unusual activity and I wanted to be part of it.
So we booked the tickets boarded the A319, doors were closed and a delay on start up was announced. During that delay I decided to make some forward planning. So I turned around to him and I asked in a fairly loud voice: "Are we going straight to the tomb" instead of going first to the hotel to leave our stuff.
I was told a number of heads were turned in horror.
Rwy in Sight
Some years ago a friend of mine decided to make true his dream to visit the tomb of Jim Morisson of Doors at a Paris cemetery (I hope the name is correct). I decided to go along since it was an unusual activity and I wanted to be part of it.
So we booked the tickets boarded the A319, doors were closed and a delay on start up was announced. During that delay I decided to make some forward planning. So I turned around to him and I asked in a fairly loud voice: "Are we going straight to the tomb" instead of going first to the hotel to leave our stuff.
I was told a number of heads were turned in horror.
Rwy in Sight
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Misinformed, Stupid or Both/
The wife of a friend of mine used to work at Heathrow as Meet and Greet for American passengers who were arriving and being coached on to Southampton to join a luxury cruise.
She once had an American family who refused to get on the coach because they were told by their travel agent that they would get off the plane and get immedialtely onto a boat. They expected to walk from the arrivals hall to a large cruise ship that was parked outside at Heathrow airport. Having been told that their travel agent was incorrect, they still refused to get on a coach or in a taxi.
When you start having conversations with people like "Sir, we are in the middle of London. It's not possible to get a cruise ship that close to the steps of the plane", you know you're having a bad day.
She once had an American family who refused to get on the coach because they were told by their travel agent that they would get off the plane and get immedialtely onto a boat. They expected to walk from the arrivals hall to a large cruise ship that was parked outside at Heathrow airport. Having been told that their travel agent was incorrect, they still refused to get on a coach or in a taxi.
When you start having conversations with people like "Sir, we are in the middle of London. It's not possible to get a cruise ship that close to the steps of the plane", you know you're having a bad day.
Join Date: May 2010
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A taxing question.
Another friend of a friend went to the USA on holiday with his other half.
When he got to his destination airport he had an argument with the local agent as he was expecting a taxi to take him from the airport to his hotel.
The agent explained that a taxi was not included in the price of his holiday.
He then said that when he booked the holiday that the brochure said "Price includes all airport taxes"
Conclusion: As a race, we are doomed!
When he got to his destination airport he had an argument with the local agent as he was expecting a taxi to take him from the airport to his hotel.
The agent explained that a taxi was not included in the price of his holiday.
He then said that when he booked the holiday that the brochure said "Price includes all airport taxes"
Conclusion: As a race, we are doomed!
Join Date: Feb 2001
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In a travel agent in CPT :
Secretary : "Mr. Smith would to book a room at the Holiday Inn Johannesburg ..... "
Clerk : "No problem ..."
S : "Oh and he'd like a sea view room."
C :"Sea view... I thought you said Holiday Inn Johannesburg. There are no sea view rooms there"
S : "Well he always has one at the Holiday Inn in Durban ....."
Secretary : "Mr. Smith would to book a room at the Holiday Inn Johannesburg ..... "
Clerk : "No problem ..."
S : "Oh and he'd like a sea view room."
C :"Sea view... I thought you said Holiday Inn Johannesburg. There are no sea view rooms there"
S : "Well he always has one at the Holiday Inn in Durban ....."
Está servira para distraerle.
Perhaps a request for a sea facing room is the politically correct manner by which to ask for a room facing eastwards and thus towards Mecca?
Heard by an SLF some years ago:
CC: 'Sir, would you like a chicken salad or beef casserole?'
Native English speaking PAX across aisle from me: 'Is the salad cold?'
CC (with straight face) 'Salads usually are, sir, but I can warm it up if you wish.'
CC: 'Sir, would you like a chicken salad or beef casserole?'
Native English speaking PAX across aisle from me: 'Is the salad cold?'
CC (with straight face) 'Salads usually are, sir, but I can warm it up if you wish.'