ATC Humour (Merged)
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Maldives
Posts: 32
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Yes, NL becomes SR but usually they don't land on this lane because NL is very close to their docks so they like to use it for only departures. Even in high crosswind and tailwinds they prefer to take NL for departures....taxiing in water perhaps is not the easiest of things to do. It takes a lot of time for them to taxi to SL and SR is almost never used for departures because there is no taxi lane for SR and they have to backtrack on SR. And there is no point in taxiing to NR if wind favours a northbound departure. Thus NR is almost all the time used for landings and NL for departures. It's forbidden by procedure to use NL for landings because the final approach path runs over docked aircraft and terminal buildings of the seaplane operators.
And yeah, there is one more lane, West/Eastbound - a crossing lane. Depending on the wind these lanes are used for dep. and landings.
Our main RWY is 36/18 and almost through out the year we have a crosswind. No choice, it's on an island and that's how the island is.
I hope that gives a glimpse of our aerodrome.
Thanks.
And yeah, there is one more lane, West/Eastbound - a crossing lane. Depending on the wind these lanes are used for dep. and landings.
Our main RWY is 36/18 and almost through out the year we have a crosswind. No choice, it's on an island and that's how the island is.
I hope that gives a glimpse of our aerodrome.
Thanks.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Maldives
Posts: 32
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
12 DME arc
EXV127 (Expo 127) is a frequent cargo plane to the Maldives from VCBI. Usually it's an AN12 flown by Russian pilots. The following happened a few years ago before we got radar, during a moderately busy hour, in the afternoon.
Pilot: Male Tower this is EXV127 with you, from Control.
TWR: EXV127, Male Tower good afternoon, report position.
Pilot: We are 11 miles on the 12 DME arc, crossing radial 130, EXV127.
TWR:
Pilot: Male Tower this is EXV127 with you, from Control.
TWR: EXV127, Male Tower good afternoon, report position.
Pilot: We are 11 miles on the 12 DME arc, crossing radial 130, EXV127.
TWR:
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: LHR
Posts: 187
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
What's wrong with that? He's in limits. As for your previous, I thought you'd posted because he'd had a comm failure yet was still talking to you, not because of his runway request. I'm a bit confused...
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Maldives
Posts: 32
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Oops my bad. I didn't know that...actually never thought about that. Our AIP doesn't say anything about the arc tolerance limits. But since you said so I thought about it and it makes perfect sense because there is a tolerance limit in everything. I just read an Australian AIP and it says you got to be within plus or minus 2 miles but our AIP is silent about that. Thanks HPbleed because of you I have learnt something...I would just digest the fact that I made a fool of myself in the process 
Can I delete that 
?
As for the comm failure thing...yes I posted it because he reported a comm failure over the radio, RWY request was not important there. Later I gave a little information about our aerodrome to give an idea of the place to gizmocat, because he asked a question.
Can I delete that ?As for the comm failure thing...yes I posted it because he reported a comm failure over the radio, RWY request was not important there. Later I gave a little information about our aerodrome to give an idea of the place to gizmocat, because he asked a question.
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Belgium
Age: 41
Posts: 35
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
When I was training in Maastricht, another mate of mine was working a position next to me....
Pilots had already all the time been requesting different levels than what they filed.
suddenly pilots comes in, was flying something like 330.
Pilot: "Maastricht, XYZ123 request higher"
mate: "Roger, XYZ123, What level would you like"
Pilot: "Euhm.... well any Level would do, just just would like to get anything higher if possible, XYZ123"
we all look at each other, immediatly thinking the same thing....
mate: "XYZ123, climb FL550"
everybody starts laughing like hell, other pilots also show their respect for this one on freq.
Pilot comes back also laughing out loud: "well euhm, thank you
, but euhm maybe we'll only start climbing FL370 for now if that's fine as well "
Sometimes the funniest things can be so obvious and sooo simple
Pilots had already all the time been requesting different levels than what they filed.
suddenly pilots comes in, was flying something like 330.
Pilot: "Maastricht, XYZ123 request higher"
mate: "Roger, XYZ123, What level would you like"
Pilot: "Euhm.... well any Level would do, just just would like to get anything higher if possible, XYZ123"
we all look at each other, immediatly thinking the same thing....
mate: "XYZ123, climb FL550"
everybody starts laughing like hell, other pilots also show their respect for this one on freq.
Pilot comes back also laughing out loud: "well euhm, thank you
, but euhm maybe we'll only start climbing FL370 for now if that's fine as well "Sometimes the funniest things can be so obvious and sooo simple
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St-Hubert_CYHU
Age: 77
Posts: 1
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Mixing ends.
Hi Lasiorhinus.
Hi have no problem understanding his "mixing" of the
ends of his words. B-)
I often rent a Cessna 172, in CYHU airport.
It's call sing is C-GSEN.
And we know that: once the communication is established,
we use only the last 3 letters/numbers/digits. . .
So, OBVIOUSLY, I DID make THE mistake, once:
"St-Hubert tower, here is SIERRO ECHA november. . ." B-)
Blue skies.
Hi have no problem understanding his "mixing" of the
ends of his words. B-)
I often rent a Cessna 172, in CYHU airport.
It's call sing is C-GSEN.
And we know that: once the communication is established,
we use only the last 3 letters/numbers/digits. . .
So, OBVIOUSLY, I DID make THE mistake, once:
"St-Hubert tower, here is SIERRO ECHA november. . ." B-)
Blue skies.
Probably the best one for me so far-after giving a helicopter the new weather information a dash 8 calls up "Link XXX request taxi and we copy information.... errrm..... ummmm.... what letter comes after I???" Ya gotta wonder sometimes 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 342
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Was on first solo excursion out of the zone at Liverpool.
Poodling down the Mersey, ATC said "call Seaforth outbound"
I replied " Wilco will call seabound outforth" (un-intentional)
Everyone else on frequency laughed.....
Poodling down the Mersey, ATC said "call Seaforth outbound"
I replied " Wilco will call seabound outforth" (un-intentional)
Everyone else on frequency laughed.....
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nawth Flawaduh
Age: 79
Posts: 5
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
New poster, hope this works, bear with me.
35 year US enroute ATCS, 13 years in Chicago, then 22 years in Jacksonville. I have read the entire thread, lots of good stuff, but lots of old and stale ones.
I was not exactly 'by the book' on phraseology and such PC stuff, so I seemed to get involved in strange things, many of my own doing. Most of my stuff will be lengthy, but it WILL be new to you. I'll give you one now, then titles for you to select from....I'll post the story when the pain subsides...you see, I'm not a typist, I'm a 'hunt'n pecker, so when my pecker gets too much of a workout, it gets sore & can't reach the keyboard.
Story One....The Rabbit Died
This one was actually passed to us at Chicago by Oshkosh tower the day it happened, the guys there were squealing about it for weeks.
A married female GA instructor had just departed and informed the tower she thought they had hit a bunny on RWY27. Ramp rats checked, deceased bunny. Tower guy knew the gal's hubby, called him up and told him his wife had confided to him "The Rabbit Died".
Well, the guy gets all excited, rushes out and buys her flowers and gets to the airport to meet her after her lesson. She hops out, he hugs her & hands her the flowers, there is a long conversation, he starts laughing, she storms over to the tower.
The tower guys bought her a bottle of champagne to soothe her feathers.
For the young readers who don't understand the technology involved with dead bunnies, ask yer mum.
Okay, here's a short list of possible stories to choose from.....
I kiss Arnie Palmers putter
Southwest is going down
New color radar
Tiger pilot gets his peepee kissed
The UFO (not a funny story, real UFO)
Airways quiz of the hour
Flaming Butts
Airshows at FL370
Lethal Linda's F-16
Carrot on a Stick
Step right up and makes yer choice, the bar is open and smoking lamp lit
35 year US enroute ATCS, 13 years in Chicago, then 22 years in Jacksonville. I have read the entire thread, lots of good stuff, but lots of old and stale ones.
I was not exactly 'by the book' on phraseology and such PC stuff, so I seemed to get involved in strange things, many of my own doing. Most of my stuff will be lengthy, but it WILL be new to you. I'll give you one now, then titles for you to select from....I'll post the story when the pain subsides...you see, I'm not a typist, I'm a 'hunt'n pecker, so when my pecker gets too much of a workout, it gets sore & can't reach the keyboard.
Story One....The Rabbit Died
This one was actually passed to us at Chicago by Oshkosh tower the day it happened, the guys there were squealing about it for weeks.
A married female GA instructor had just departed and informed the tower she thought they had hit a bunny on RWY27. Ramp rats checked, deceased bunny. Tower guy knew the gal's hubby, called him up and told him his wife had confided to him "The Rabbit Died".
Well, the guy gets all excited, rushes out and buys her flowers and gets to the airport to meet her after her lesson. She hops out, he hugs her & hands her the flowers, there is a long conversation, he starts laughing, she storms over to the tower.
The tower guys bought her a bottle of champagne to soothe her feathers.
For the young readers who don't understand the technology involved with dead bunnies, ask yer mum.
Okay, here's a short list of possible stories to choose from.....
I kiss Arnie Palmers putter
Southwest is going down
New color radar
Tiger pilot gets his peepee kissed
The UFO (not a funny story, real UFO)
Airways quiz of the hour
Flaming Butts
Airshows at FL370
Lethal Linda's F-16
Carrot on a Stick
Step right up and makes yer choice, the bar is open and smoking lamp lit
Last edited by wonnski; 3rd Dec 2010 at 22:29. Reason: more stories added
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ether
Posts: 19
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Controller answers phone and responding the Pilots query asks ground:
Supervisor: "Do you have a plan for ANG400 to Moro?"
Ground : "No, but I have one for Today........oh ****"
ANG400 -Air Nugini 400
Moro - AYMR
Supervisor: "Do you have a plan for ANG400 to Moro?"
Ground : "No, but I have one for Today........oh ****"
ANG400 -Air Nugini 400
Moro - AYMR
More than just an ATCO
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Up someone's nose
Age: 75
Posts: 1,768
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Back when we still phoned estimates between units the Papa Alpha Oscar November Echo or Papa Alpha Tango Whisky Oscar often had people writing out strips; usually the penny dropped after the second or third one.
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nawth Flawaduh
Age: 79
Posts: 5
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
First Request Granted
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Nawth Flawaduh
Age: 79
Posts: 5
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Airshows at FL370
An A/C dealer in Tampa was giving demo flights on a Global Express, usually north out of Tampa, up over to JAX to Columbia, SC, West to Tallahassee, back to Tampa.
On one of his flights, I had a flight of 4 F-15's head-on with him, 2,000' below. I loved letting the military show off, so I asked the Express if he had a camera in cockpit...he did. I told him I'd give him a look at something cool, which side did he want it on...he said port.
So I called traffic to Eagles at 12 o'clock & 60 miles...he called a lock. I told him the guy wanted them to smile down his port side for photo..he said "we'll give him a show".
I kept the Express advised of the traffic, then when they had passed he said "Damn, I didn't know they could even do that", I asked what it was, he said better I didn't know, but to thank the Eagles for him, which I did.
About a week later, another demo flight, but it went badly. Lost radios just North of JAX, much confusion resulted between sectors and military controllers in a Warning Area, ended up with 2 F-16's at about a mile & zero feet vertical from the Express.
When the Express got near Tallahassee, he came up on my freq, said he'd had a bus failure, comm was not reliable, asked for lower & next freq if he lost me.
I then told him he had missed another picture opportunity & how it happened.
He said "Well, these airshows are one hell of a lot of fun, but if it's ok with you we'll just be spectators from now on."
On one of his flights, I had a flight of 4 F-15's head-on with him, 2,000' below. I loved letting the military show off, so I asked the Express if he had a camera in cockpit...he did. I told him I'd give him a look at something cool, which side did he want it on...he said port.
So I called traffic to Eagles at 12 o'clock & 60 miles...he called a lock. I told him the guy wanted them to smile down his port side for photo..he said "we'll give him a show".
I kept the Express advised of the traffic, then when they had passed he said "Damn, I didn't know they could even do that", I asked what it was, he said better I didn't know, but to thank the Eagles for him, which I did.
About a week later, another demo flight, but it went badly. Lost radios just North of JAX, much confusion resulted between sectors and military controllers in a Warning Area, ended up with 2 F-16's at about a mile & zero feet vertical from the Express.
When the Express got near Tallahassee, he came up on my freq, said he'd had a bus failure, comm was not reliable, asked for lower & next freq if he lost me.
I then told him he had missed another picture opportunity & how it happened.
He said "Well, these airshows are one hell of a lot of fun, but if it's ok with you we'll just be spectators from now on."