ATC Humour (Merged)
Join Date: Jun 2006
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Hi!
Veeeeery easy:
CO writes down the given and coordinated dircet clearance onto the strip - done!
This can be done even in the busiest environment and nobody HAS to talk to each other if everybody is so busy! It can be soooo easy...and safe!
What if the pilots had found an intersection with sounds like MINTI and had selected a heading towards this unknwown fix......uhhhh...
==============
Back to topic:
This day a belgium Avroliner called in: "......leveling off FL 440!"
2. just how would little pieces of paper have prevented this misunderstanding?
CO writes down the given and coordinated dircet clearance onto the strip - done!
This can be done even in the busiest environment and nobody HAS to talk to each other if everybody is so busy! It can be soooo easy...and safe!
What if the pilots had found an intersection with sounds like MINTI and had selected a heading towards this unknwown fix......uhhhh...
==============
Back to topic:
This day a belgium Avroliner called in: "......leveling off FL 440!"
More than just an ATCO
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Up someone's nose
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Veeeeery easy:
CO writes down the given and coordinated dircet clearance onto the strip
CO writes down the given and coordinated dircet clearance onto the strip
What if the pilots had found an intersection with sounds like MINTI and had selected a heading towards this unknwown fix......uhhhh...
Originally Posted by FlyVMO
Another time, cleared to land with the advisory "traffic on the runway is a turtle crossing right to left, advise in sight"....
And to chip in with my own experience from flying round the US last summer..
1) En route from Crystal River to Sarasota, we decide to check in for flight following.
Me: Miami Centre (I think it was), Skyhawk N961MC...
MC: Skyhawk 1MC, go ahead
Me: Blah blah...
MC: 1MC, I have you on radar, squa.......(silence)
10 or 15 seconds later he comes back on frequency
MC: Sorry about that 1MC, we're having a bit of fun here today, and somebody unplugged me
1) En route from Crystal River to Sarasota, we decide to check in for flight following.
Me: Miami Centre (I think it was), Skyhawk N961MC...
MC: Skyhawk 1MC, go ahead
Me: Blah blah...
MC: 1MC, I have you on radar, squa.......(silence)
10 or 15 seconds later he comes back on frequency
MC: Sorry about that 1MC, we're having a bit of fun here today, and somebody unplugged me
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Air Blue XXX, Bavarian captain: ahh departures, is zer some kind of strange, funny noise coming through viss my transmissions?
Departures: I would never say that about your accent, sir!
Luckily, he had a SOH.
Departures: I would never say that about your accent, sir!
Luckily, he had a SOH.
Last edited by Scooby Don't; 21st Sep 2008 at 03:03. Reason: Captain told me where he's from
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Hellfire Corner
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The usual fairly busy comms at Headcorn.
G-XXXX good afternoon, inbound from yyy request joining information
G-XXXX 11 left QFE 1030
etc
All measured and pleasant, vaguely as per the book.
Then, equally pleasant, but a shock to all sensitive ears:
HEADCORN RADIO, G-ZZZZ RADIO CHECK
G-ZZZZ readability 6
Thanks Pat, I enjoyed that.
G-XXXX good afternoon, inbound from yyy request joining information
G-XXXX 11 left QFE 1030
etc
All measured and pleasant, vaguely as per the book.
Then, equally pleasant, but a shock to all sensitive ears:
HEADCORN RADIO, G-ZZZZ RADIO CHECK
G-ZZZZ readability 6
Thanks Pat, I enjoyed that.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: england
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Boulmer "Hi, we're launching Q for an intercept against ABC123"
LATCC "Roger"
Boulmer "We'll be coming out hdg 180"
LATCC "Confirm ABC123?"
Boulmer "Yes, coming out hdg 180"
LATCC "Can I suggest hdg 350 and a handover to Scottish?"
I guess you had to be there.
LATCC "Roger"
Boulmer "We'll be coming out hdg 180"
LATCC "Confirm ABC123?"
Boulmer "Yes, coming out hdg 180"
LATCC "Can I suggest hdg 350 and a handover to Scottish?"
I guess you had to be there.
Join Date: Jun 2001
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HEADCORN RADIO, G-ZZZZ RADIO CHECK
G-ZZZZ readability 6
G-ZZZZ readability 6
1. unreadable;
2. readable now and then;
3. readable with difficulty;
4. readable;
5. perfectly readable; and
6. unbearable.
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Between a rock and a hard place
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New student with instructor onboard strayed into the TMA,
TWR: S-XX you are penetrating my TMA
Student: Penetrating your TMA, S-XX
Happily unaware of what he just did Guess the instructor had to sort out the paperwork.
TWR: S-XX you are penetrating my TMA
Student: Penetrating your TMA, S-XX
Happily unaware of what he just did Guess the instructor had to sort out the paperwork.
Last edited by 172_driver; 5th Oct 2008 at 06:49.
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Aircraft on 4nm final approach, just been issued clearance to land.
Pilot: Tower, is there going to be a delay for our outbound flight to XXX
Tower: Affirm, they need 15 minutes between departures.
Pilot: Uh, copied..... Request push back and start!
Pilot: Tower, is there going to be a delay for our outbound flight to XXX
Tower: Affirm, they need 15 minutes between departures.
Pilot: Uh, copied..... Request push back and start!
Join Date: Apr 2006
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As told by a now pensioned controller:
Controller: 'ABCxxx, confirm visual with traffic on righthand side'
ABCxxx: 'Ehh, negative..'
Controller: 'Roger, juuuuust keep looking right'
(Hint, this was before TCAS )
Controller: 'ABCxxx, confirm visual with traffic on righthand side'
ABCxxx: 'Ehh, negative..'
Controller: 'Roger, juuuuust keep looking right'
(Hint, this was before TCAS )
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Melbourne
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To the Camden Tower controller today who told a Twin Commanche that his inbound call was 'about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike': I am still wiping the tears from my eyes! I salute you!
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Simulator stuff...
We were simulating some unusual occurances:
Pilot (a girl...): Maastricht, mayday, we have smell of co%k in the cockpit!!"
ATC: -no comment-
Instructor: Laughing his head off..
Pilot (a girl...): Maastricht, mayday, we have smell of co%k in the cockpit!!"
ATC: -no comment-
Instructor: Laughing his head off..
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Maastricht
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lost on freq...
A spanish pilot got lost on our frequency, so, since we couldn't speak to him, we thought that he might be in rcf:
ATC: "C/S123, is you read, squawk ident."
A/C: "Roger, squawking ident, C/S123."
ATC: "C/S123, is you read, squawk ident."
A/C: "Roger, squawking ident, C/S123."