Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > Ground & Other Ops Forums > ATC Issues
Reload this Page >

ATC Humour (Merged)

ATC Issues A place where pilots may enter the 'lions den' that is Air Traffic Control in complete safety and find out the answers to all those obscure topics which you always wanted to know the answer to but were afraid to ask.

ATC Humour (Merged)

Old 2nd Dec 2008, 00:32
  #1141 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South of England
Posts: 18
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
General naughtiness... (controller is female by the way, and anonymous voice is male!)

Easter Sunday:

Pilot: "Tower, any good news on my slot?"
ATC: "Negative, still 20 minutes for start. Sorry."
Pilot: "This is boring."
ATC: "Affirm. I could be at home eating an Easter Egg right now."
.
.
.
Long silence.
.
.
.
Anonymous voice: "You could suck my eggs anytime".
Fenella is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2008, 16:01
  #1142 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Italy
Age: 38
Posts: 136
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
A couple of months ago after my first solo x-country flight in Italy I did use English phraseology for practice, which is not really appreciated by ATCOs as I increase their workload.

After landing TWR came over with the following:

"I-IABS on ground at xx..ehm are you a military pilot?"

"Ehm.. on ground at xx ... and negative just a student!!"

I had a good laugh and did smile for some time. (had only 17 flight hours at the time)

RMarvin86 is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2008, 16:34
  #1143 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: LIME&LIPO
Posts: 15
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
A couple of months ago after my first solo x-country flight in Italy I did use English phraseology for practice, which is not really appreciated by ATCOs as I increase their workload.

After landing TWR came over with the following:

"I-IABS on ground at xx..ehm are you a military pilot?"

"Ehm.. on ground at xx ... and negative just a student!!"

I had a good laugh and did smile for some time. (had only 17 flight hours at the time)
Sorry to ask, but...
...what's the funny part of it?
lucavettu is offline  
Old 2nd Dec 2008, 17:16
  #1144 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Italy
Age: 38
Posts: 136
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Sorry to ask, but...
...what's the funny part of it?
It was funny at the time as I just achieved an important step of my flight training and I was asked with such a strange question. I still don't understand why, but I guess it was because I was using English phraseology and they were not used to! (it's an intl airport).

Probably it's more funny when I fly VFR in Italy using English RT and the guys at the other side of the mike get annoyed and switch to italian

I was just sharing my personal experience

You don't like it? you skip it.
RMarvin86 is offline  
Old 8th Dec 2008, 02:09
  #1145 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Not as funny as some other ones, but at least it's original

As a student pilot, I had my share of radio blunders. Here is one.

I'm returning to my home base on the last leg of my first solo cross-country. Due to stronger winds than predicted, later start than anticipated, and lower a/c performance than published, the flight has taken longer than I thought it would. I realize that I might end up cutting it a little too fine with respect to the search and rescue time, so I decide to call up a flight information centre, give them a position report and a new ETA.

Me: London Radio, this is C-XXXX, position report.

London Radio: C-XXXX, go ahead.
Me: London Radio, C-XXXX is on a VFR flight plan, en route to so-and-so airport, at such-and-such altitude, over such-and-such town, yada-yada-yada (where yada-yada-yada is the rest of the relevant details)
London Radio: Roger.

So far so good, and I should have just stopped there, of course, but because this is the first time I strayed any distance from my controlled homebase, that exchange just didn't feel right. Before this flight, talking to someone on the ground equalled talking to the ATC, and the voice on the other end always gave me instructions at the end! Plus, that last "Roger" didn't sound like an end to a conversation; the intonation seemed to be implying that there was more for me to say... and I already said everything I thought I was supposed to. So, knowing full well that I'm doing something kinda dumb, I keyed the mike and meekly asked:

Me: Um, London radio... is there anything you would like me to do?

If I were London radio people, I probably would have said something along the lines of "draw me a bath". But they seemed perplexed, not amused, by my silly question, and just mumbled something along the lines of "Um, no, C-XXXX, it's all good, have a good flight".
chephy is offline  
Old 10th Dec 2008, 10:15
  #1146 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Berlin
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Happened in the Seventies:

Lufthansa XXX contacts Zürich Radar.

Pilot: Zurich Radar, LH XXX, good morning, FL290, estimating Trasadingen at 45.
Controller: Good morning LH XXX, proceed via Amber 9, maintain FL 290 and report Trasadingen.
Pilot: Roger LH XXX, maintaining 290 and call you Trasadingen.
Controller: Negative, call me Leo and report Trasadingen.

Not my story (taken from eddh.de), but one of the best I read so far.
Opinel is offline  
Old 10th Dec 2008, 14:26
  #1147 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Hamburg
Age: 46
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Ask-21 Heavy

My favourite from eddh.de:

At a glider site's take-off position. Take-off supervisor to winch driver.
Supervisor: "ASK-21 heavy at the northern rope. Start pulling."
Driver: "ASK-21 heavy...???"
Supervisor: "
Yeah. My missis is on board."
Reported by Klaus Nuss

(translated by hvogt)
hvogt is offline  
Old 10th Dec 2008, 16:17
  #1148 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: se england
Posts: 1,606
Likes: 0
Received 67 Likes on 30 Posts
More humorous than intentional humour although the BA captains' comments are shall we say tinged with a hint of sarcasm. Both times I am listening to ATC as family on board and want to be sure they get away ok.

It’s late at night about 2330 in Bermuda in the 1980s. Kindley Field (BDA was a US Naval Air Station doubling as a civil airport had US Military controllers handling the civil fights. The 5 times a week BA Tri-Star is the last (only) night departure and has just pushed back.

'BA 2233 ready for taxi ' says a very British voice
No answer
Again BA 2233 etc etc .....repeats 4 times in fact
Fifth time a very exasperated BA 'Captain Speaking' voice calls the tower frequency to complain that he is the only aircraft on the field and why isn't he being answered.
Tower explains – ‘Oh we did not answer as we have flashed you a green signal light’. You can sense the stunned reaction on the flight deck and several seconds elapse before before, ‘Well , I am afraid we Brits have moved on a bit since signal lights and I would like a proper taxi clearance please!!!'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the other hand people can talk a little too much (though there was not much to do on the nightshift in Bermuda Tower)

BA Tri Star 'Bermuda Tower BA2233 for Airways clearance please'

(excuse me if I have the reporting points wrong)

Tower 'BA2233 is cleared to London Heathrow Airport climbing ahead to 2000ft then enroute via FLANN, TARGA 35N 50W ( then all the Oceanic reports are listed) Lands End ,Sampton, Midhur..... at which point BA interrupts with ‘ errr Yes I think we can just about manage to find our own way from there thank you'

PB
pax britanica is online now  
Old 8th Jan 2009, 20:01
  #1149 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: georgia
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
from personal experienece just few meeks ago.
TWR: set squawk 6747
PILOt: roger squawk 6748
TWR: If u'll manage to set squawk 6748, just leave it
looooooong silence
Hopefully I was ATCO
kokako7 is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2009, 09:34
  #1150 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: australia
Posts: 606
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Asked outbound United today for his estimate for the FIR boundary (approximately 500nm to the boundary). Pilot needs to check and comes back with 'United XXX ahh ....one second (while he looks it up)
Qantas wit dives in " Jeez thats quick"
max1 is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2009, 22:47
  #1151 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cedar Rapids
Age: 49
Posts: 44
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
An American tramp freighter departing Rome some years ago:

ATC: Freightdog 123, president.

A/C: Um say again? <franticly reviewing NOTAMs during climb>

ATC: Freightdog 123, president.

A/C: Say again please?

ATC: On your transponder, press ident.
Semu is offline  
Old 15th Jan 2009, 18:17
  #1152 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Belgium
Age: 46
Posts: 24
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
In a complex airspace as the Belgian east sectors, things sometimes get even more complicated by the fact that Flemish and French speaking controllers are working together...

Situation:
Three French speaking controllers (trainee, instructor and planning) at the sector, trainee is holding the mike. Flight ANE8283 comes up on the radar, and since we don't see those very often, he asks the planning controller if he knows the callsign. Planning controller, helpful as he is, sais: 'oh, that's "EZEL"' (since ANE is French for donkey, and donkey in Flemish is EZEL).

On first contact, the trainee replies with: 'EZEL 8283, radar contact!'

It only took him a few extra seconds to realize his mistake...
matsATC is offline  
Old 19th Jan 2009, 16:22
  #1153 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 65
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
One from my own personal experience.

EZY a/c departs early morning. Routine runway insection finds the departing a/c hit a bird on departure. I relay message to pilot through neighbouring sector, he seems fine. Later on in day whilst on Ground the same a/c came in taxiing back to stand. Pilot informs me he was pilot of bird stike flight from earlier in the day and asked me:

Pilot: 'Ground, EZYxxx, hi, we were the ones who struck the bird on departure this morning, dont suppose you know what type of bird it was do you? For form-filling'
Me (having found out a few hours earlier it was a very strange sounding bird that i'd never heard of): 'Ezyxxx, affirm, it was called a "xxxxxx' (cant remember name anymore)
Pilot: 'oooh sounds rare..'
Me: 'Even rarer now!!'

I thought was funny...thats all that matters
DAL208 is offline  
Old 22nd Jan 2009, 00:33
  #1154 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: South Africa
Posts: 42
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
It's cruel I know, but one should never pass up the opportunity to welcome an FNG (... new guy) by taking advantage of their lack of experience.


Twr calls approach at Jhb International (it's name has changed several times, but at least this one had a location in it) and says some guy wants to join VFR, what would I like them to squawk.

I naturally answer 2909.

"ZSABC, squawk 2909"
"But M'am it's too high"
"Ok, squawk 2908"

She didn't find it as amusing as me, I suppose it's also 'cos I bring it up after a few libations, which is after morning shifts, most evenings and weekends.

Also, British Global freighters fly in from time to time, their designator being BGB. Again the Tower FNG asks what their callsign is, and I reply, "It's BUGBEAR". I'm sure you can guess the rest.
EltorroLoco is offline  
Old 22nd Jan 2009, 21:19
  #1155 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 607
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Heard on Amsterdam delivery. Delta pilot attempting to readback clearance:

Delta XX: "That's a BERGI....er....um......can't read my writing"
ATC: "That's ok, as long as you can fly the plane, that's what's important! Call ground for pushback [etc, etc]"
Betablockeruk is offline  
Old 28th Jan 2009, 09:52
  #1156 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hundred Acre Wood
Posts: 268
Received 5 Likes on 2 Posts
I love the Dutch approach to ATC; heard an inbound aircraft one day ask if there was any speed restriction to which the controller replied, "No Sir, you can go as fast as you dare!"
Doug E Style is offline  
Old 28th Jan 2009, 11:37
  #1157 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: EU
Posts: 218
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
yeah I like dutch as well,the other day, ACFT: Turkish xxx maintaining 300 kt fl 070.
ATC: Turkish xxx very good
ron83 is offline  
Old 28th Jan 2009, 12:07
  #1158 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Italy
Age: 38
Posts: 136
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
About Amsterdam ATC

... check this out!

dutch controllers are well funny!

YouTube - Funny ATC - Air Traffic Controller at Amsterdam Schiphol
RMarvin86 is offline  
Old 28th Jan 2009, 14:11
  #1159 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: EU
Posts: 218
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
a/p disconnectedyeah we'll try to stop it
ron83 is offline  
Old 28th Jan 2009, 16:34
  #1160 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Temporarily Uncertain...
Posts: 32
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
heard this recently when talking to Scottish....

ATC - "Ryanair123 cleared direct XXXX"
RYR - "Cleared...erm did you mean to say XXX?"
ATC - "Yes sir, well done your great and im just rubbish!! Your cleared direct XXX!"
Ollie268 is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.