ATC Humour (Merged)
Joined: May 2008
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From: Portsmouth
ATC Humour for LATCC Book?
There is a lot of stuff here that I would love to use in my forthcoming book on LATCC. If any of you would like to contact me direct with your stories for inclusion in this publication. If you look at the thread further down entitle Book on LATCC it will give more idea of what I am trying to achieve. These are exactly the bits and pieces I feel should go down in print for posterity!
Lorie Coffey
Lorie Coffey
Joined: May 2007
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From: Chad
True story - but 18 years old!
China Air out of Sharjah eastbound - airborne off Runway 12 calls airborne.
ATC clears Air China direct LALDO [entry point Muscat FIR on A1] climb FL330.
Air China responds "Lodger - dilect RARLDO FL330".
ATC responds "negative - direct LALDO"
Air China responds "Lodger, dilect RARLDO".
ATC responds "negative, negative - track direct LALDO".
Air China responds "how you spell RARLDO"
ATC responds "RIMA ALPHA RIMA DELTA OSCAR"!!
China Air out of Sharjah eastbound - airborne off Runway 12 calls airborne.
ATC clears Air China direct LALDO [entry point Muscat FIR on A1] climb FL330.
Air China responds "Lodger - dilect RARLDO FL330".
ATC responds "negative - direct LALDO"
Air China responds "Lodger, dilect RARLDO".
ATC responds "negative, negative - track direct LALDO".
Air China responds "how you spell RARLDO"
ATC responds "RIMA ALPHA RIMA DELTA OSCAR"!!
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 30
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From: UK
EGBJ the other day...
Too busy talking to my passenger, obviousily not paying attention to the ATIS...
Me: Glos Tower, G-XX with information err, um, err... whatever it was, Rwy 27, QNH 1015 (not even close) for taxi
TWR: G-XX, Glos Tower, whatever it was has now changed to Mike, QNH is now 1005 and the Rynway is still 27, so one out of three correct!
Me: Unable to replay as I was laughing so much....
Me: Glos Tower, G-XX with information err, um, err... whatever it was, Rwy 27, QNH 1015 (not even close) for taxi
TWR: G-XX, Glos Tower, whatever it was has now changed to Mike, QNH is now 1005 and the Rynway is still 27, so one out of three correct!
Me: Unable to replay as I was laughing so much....
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 10
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From: Australia
I'm currently flying light aircraft a lot around Sydney and typically encounter a lot of indian students from the bankstown pilot factories.
One time after one of these indian pilots made a departure call a comedian in the circuit came over the radio, simpsons style, with 'thank-you. Come again'. Rightly or wrongly it still made me laugh.
One time after one of these indian pilots made a departure call a comedian in the circuit came over the radio, simpsons style, with 'thank-you. Come again'. Rightly or wrongly it still made me laugh.
More than just an ATCO
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,773
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From: Up someone's nose
Almost as old as me; apologies if it's been posted before.
"JAL nnn resume own navigation to Pole Hill."
"Dilec whea?"
"Pole Hill, POL."
"Not can find, Porill."
American voice. "Makes you wonder how they found Pearl Harbor."
"JAL nnn resume own navigation to Pole Hill."
"Dilec whea?"
"Pole Hill, POL."
"Not can find, Porill."
American voice. "Makes you wonder how they found Pearl Harbor."
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,359
Likes: 46
From: Hollister, Hilo, Pago Pago, Norfolk Is., Brisbane, depending which day of the week it is...
On the Indian theme...
Following several inbound calls made by students with heavy accents
"Tower, XYZ, tomahawk, inbound with information PAPADOM...."
Following several inbound calls made by students with heavy accents
"Tower, XYZ, tomahawk, inbound with information PAPADOM...."
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15
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From: Hampshire
Heathrow Ground and BA pilot................
HG - SpeedbirdXXX are you fully parked?
BA - Errrr about another 4" sir........
HG - Roger thats good enough for me
BA - My wife says the same.......
Cue laughter from ground!!
HG - SpeedbirdXXX are you fully parked?
BA - Errrr about another 4" sir........
HG - Roger thats good enough for me
BA - My wife says the same.......
Cue laughter from ground!!
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6
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From: Breeza
Virgins .....
Some years ago I worked in a major Centre in Australia.The weather was exceptionally bad, and there were jets all over the place. I was doing an arrivals sector, and the controller sitting beside me had the airspace with the one hole in the weather. After copping nearly everyone's traffic that afternoon the final straw had come. He looked at the mess coming towards him, and remarked .. "I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but for f$cks sake, keep that Virgin away from me" !!!!
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 132
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From: As far from the sea as possible
When i was a lowly PPL bashing the circuit at Teesside, had the ultimate feeder line...
ATC "G-KV you are number 2 to a Fokker 100 on a 4 mile final, report visual"
[Pause for effect...]
Me "G-KV Visual... I have the fokker in sight"
ATC "You've always wanted to say that haven't you?"
Me "Oh Yes"
ATC "G-KV you are number 2 to a Fokker 100 on a 4 mile final, report visual"
[Pause for effect...]
Me "G-KV Visual... I have the fokker in sight"
ATC "You've always wanted to say that haven't you?"
Me "Oh Yes"
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 308
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From: Just south of the Keevil gap.
Last Thursday 19 June, about 1600 local ..
very efficient sounding G- XXXX " Filton Approach, G-XXX with you at XXXX on XXXX, out of XXXXX for XXXX, waffle waffle,....... and we have information Victor"
Filton Approach " Ah, that's interesting, we don't have an ATIS...."
Well, it made me chuckle.
very efficient sounding G- XXXX " Filton Approach, G-XXX with you at XXXX on XXXX, out of XXXXX for XXXX, waffle waffle,....... and we have information Victor"
Filton Approach " Ah, that's interesting, we don't have an ATIS...."
Well, it made me chuckle.
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,040
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From: Stockport
Heard a couple of weeks back at Lands End on a very blustery day
Microlight G-** just passing Pendeen ground speed 15 Knts
Controller Roger hope you have bought some sandwiches with you
Just made me laugh
Ian
Microlight G-** just passing Pendeen ground speed 15 Knts
Controller Roger hope you have bought some sandwiches with you
Just made me laugh
Ian
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 6
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From: Australia
Me on my 2nd solo nav training for PPL, after slightly bouncy crosswind landing and flustered taxi call I took off again and was departing Essendon via Yan Yean (a massive lake/reservoir)
EN TWR in a very -I'm talking to an idiot- kind of voice
"XYZ Yan Yean is at your 12 oclock, 1 mile, clear to close this frequency"
(Yan yean was filling about 3/4 of my windscreen at this point!)
EN TWR in a very -I'm talking to an idiot- kind of voice
"XYZ Yan Yean is at your 12 oclock, 1 mile, clear to close this frequency"
(Yan yean was filling about 3/4 of my windscreen at this point!)
Last edited by gotta_love_P28A; 25th June 2008 at 10:52.
Joined: Mar 2008
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From: In Denial
The other day there was a distinctly new lady pilot on frequency with an exceptionally nice voice...
She calls me up on ground for the clearance with I give (with absolute pleasure). She finishes up the read back and before I can say anything someone else cuts in and says:
"My apologies, I didn't catch that, say again..."
Again, before I could say anything, she starts off and gives me the whole thing again...
When she finishes our anonymous hero steps in again,
"Thanks, I'm not ground and I heard it all the first time. But I just wanted to hear you say it again!"
Good job that man!!
She calls me up on ground for the clearance with I give (with absolute pleasure). She finishes up the read back and before I can say anything someone else cuts in and says:
"My apologies, I didn't catch that, say again..."
Again, before I could say anything, she starts off and gives me the whole thing again...
When she finishes our anonymous hero steps in again,
"Thanks, I'm not ground and I heard it all the first time. But I just wanted to hear you say it again!"
Good job that man!!
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37
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From: Christchurch
Joined: Jan 2007
Aviation Qualifications: SLF
Posts: 415
Likes: 1
From: Chichester, UK
R/T funnies
(Don't know whether or not this has already been posted so apologies if it has)
Was crossing the north sea a while ago and heard (and recognised) a colleagues (anonymous) voice say to London:
"I'm bored!!" Silence from London et al. Then:
"Correction; i'm f**king bored!!"
London: "Who said that?" Stunned silence on a normally busy frequency, followed by:
"I said i'm f**king bored, not f**king stupid!!"
Could not string two coherent words together for some minutes!
Was crossing the north sea a while ago and heard (and recognised) a colleagues (anonymous) voice say to London:
"I'm bored!!" Silence from London et al. Then:
"Correction; i'm f**king bored!!"
London: "Who said that?" Stunned silence on a normally busy frequency, followed by:
"I said i'm f**king bored, not f**king stupid!!"
Could not string two coherent words together for some minutes!