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You Know You Are In Africa When.....

African Aviation Regional issues that affect the numerous pilots who work in this area of the world.

You Know You Are In Africa When.....

Old 22nd Aug 2009, 10:33
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Huh??

Dont Get that???
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Old 22nd Aug 2009, 11:26
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Swazi king sends wives on shopping spree while subjects go hungry

King Mswati III of Swaziland, Africa’s last absolute monarch and ruler of some of the poorest people in the world, has sent his favourite wives on a multimillion-pound shopping jaunt through Europe, the Middle East and Asia, provoking fierce criticism of his profligacy.

Britain has been drawn into the row because of the millions of pounds in aid reportedly given to the kingdom, with campaigners accusing Whitehall of double standards. “They shout about Zimbabwe, but keep quiet about what is happening in Swaziland, even though they are one of its biggest aid donors. They are wasting British taxpayers’ money on this tyrant,” Lucky Lukhele, of the Swaziland Solidarity Network (SSN), told The Times.

The landlocked kingdom of Swaziland is home to about 1.2 million people, more than two thirds of whom live in abject poverty on less than 50 pence a day. More than a quarter of the adult population has HIV — the highest ratio in the world.

The king enjoys a personal fortune of about £145 million, as the beneficiary of two funds created by his father, Sobhuza II, in trust for the nation. He also receives money from the national budget for his family’s upkeep. Last year this totalled £12 million — more than was set aside for education.

Reports from the kingdom said that the king had dispatched at least five of his 13 wives and dozens of retainers to France, Italy, Dubai and Taiwan on a secret tour last week, using £4 million from the state budget. In Swaziland it is a criminal offence to criticise the king’s private life. The Government declined to comment.

Swaziland is heavily dependent on handouts from the international community. According to SSN, Britain pays the lion’s share of an estimated £65 million in annual European Union aid, the second-highest amount after the US, which donates about $200 million (£142 million) a year.

Two years ago, Foreign and Commonwealth Office cuts led to the closure of the UK’s Embassy in Mbabane, the capital, and the country is now monitored from neighbouring South Africa. A British diplomatic source said that the Government had made clear its concern over “governance issues” in Swaziland and no longer gave bilateral support.

King Mswati, who was educated at the English public school at Sherborne, Dorset, is no stranger to controversy. In May he bought 20 armoured Mercedes Benz cars at a cost of £150,000 each; last year he held a sumptuous “40/40” party to celebrate the twin events of his 40th birthday and the 40th anniversary of his country’s independence.

He owns several private palaces where he houses his many wives, some of whom have run away and sought refuge in South Africa.
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Old 22nd Aug 2009, 14:41
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I remember last year doing a contract for a West African Airline flying B732's. The Captain I flew with couldnt speak English and I couldn't speak French which made for an interesting combination. Strange thing is, after a days work we would go to the pub and after a few Castels we would have a crackingly good conversation!
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Old 22nd Aug 2009, 20:48
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Best thread ive seen so far!

Awesome thread, keep em coming!

- Went to Plaisance Intl. in Mauritius once for some spotting(Spent about half a day there!). This BA 747 pushes back and starts taxiing to the holding point. Right on schedule. 9:20AM I think it was. I was thinking, great, on-time departure, those passengers must be pretty satisfied. However....the 74 reached the holding point and just stood there. I was thinking maybe another plane was coming in to land so he had to hold short. I tried to look for said plane in vain for about 10 minutes. Then i thought the 74 probably had some sort of technical problem but he showed no sign of trying to go back to the gate and nothing else was happening...no tow truck no ambulance no nothing. So im thinking..what is he waiting for, the airport is absolutely deserted and theres nothing in the sky and nothing approaching and its been already 15 minutes. Finally 20 minutes after that poor 74 reached the holding point, i see a spec afar. 5 minutes later this A340 comes in and lands. This poor guy had to wait for 25 minutes at the holding point when the incoming plane was probably still in freakin Madagascar(So to speak). I didnt have my VHF radio that day unfortunately....would have been interesting to hear the ATC conversation

- You also know you're in Africa when you're asked for your position when you're over the threshold about to touchdown...(MU again)
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Old 23rd Aug 2009, 06:42
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I have a feeling some of us havent stayed in Africa long enough....

I have .... for 10 years and I have no intention of leaving...
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Old 24th Aug 2009, 07:24
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The first thing to go...

Is the grammar. It is all downhill after that.

Ten years, huh? You need to get your knees brown!
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Old 24th Aug 2009, 09:06
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Ten years??? Huahahahahahaha!!!!
 
Old 27th Aug 2009, 16:55
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Pushback for 737

You know you're in Africa when...you see 200 Africans actually pushing a brokedown 737 back up the runway from where it stopped on landing. A true incident, Cabinda, Angola 2001.
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Old 27th Aug 2009, 23:20
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... when you see a security 'guard' pushing luggage through the x-ray screener with a long stick, because there is a power failure, but "everything has to go through the x-ray for security, sah!"
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Old 28th Aug 2009, 06:12
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Exclamation

Yes,give Africa a Break. And if you don't like it,fly elsewhere.Its embarassing that one of us sees a gorilla...a drunk one at that... in the place of an African.You are in the wrong profession, and Africa would be happy if you kept away....
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Old 28th Aug 2009, 07:53
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njamwitha

Yes,give Africa a Break. And if you don't like it,
Come on buddy, jump off the 'racism' bandwagon' because clearly that's where you're heading with this type of comment. Grow up, take the chip off your shoulder, and realise that just because we make jokes about Africa, the Africa we've chosen to live in or where we were born, and which we love and hold in affection, does not mean we 'don't like it'.

If anything, Africa doesn't need people like you, who perpetuate stereotypes.

Last edited by Capetonian; 28th Aug 2009 at 08:17.
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Old 28th Aug 2009, 22:02
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Capetonian, that's exactly right! I was born, raised, and went to school in Africa; spent there 26 years of my life, speak fluent Kiswahili and still go back every now and then to visit my friends.
But you've got to take it all with humour, or else go nuts.
 
Old 28th Aug 2009, 23:00
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Ezulwini Valley, Swaziland (July 29, 2002)--Earlier this year, the Transport Minister of Swaziland admitted during a parliamentary sitting that one of the navy's ships was missing.

"The situation is absolutely under control," said Minister Ephraem Magagula. "Our nation's navy is perfectly safe. We just don't know where it is. We believe it is in a sea somewhere. We sent a team of men to look for it, but there was a problem with drink and they failed to find it, and so, technically, yes, we've lost it a bit. But I categorically reject all suggestions of incompetence on the part of this government. The ship is a big ship painted in the sort of nice bright colours you can see at night. Mark my words, it will turn up."
.. being cleared to land about 2 miles out from a straight in then told to eeeaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh exteeend downhawind (for about 6 minutes) due to traffic (a C150 crossing the numbers).

... finding out the XXX ndb has been stolen.

... being amazed at how many people actually fit into a peugeot 405 ET.

... getting into a datsun cherry taxi and falling into the trunk when the driver hits the gas.

... locals thumbing a lift from oncoming traffic.

I do miss Africa !

Last edited by Bruce Wayne; 29th Aug 2009 at 01:17.
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Old 29th Aug 2009, 18:44
  #254 (permalink)  
 
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We got an fire alarm in cargo door just before leaving with door still open
Explanation by the enginer coming back 5' after, the guy say
"I spray the foward part of the hold, and I spray on the little things on the ceiling, so just before closing I have only the back part of the hold to spray ..."
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Old 30th Aug 2009, 12:51
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The best thing about Africa.... making men out of boys...!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the challenge and adrenaline.... I reckon I am running out of adrenaline...


Poor me....!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting down to unusable.
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Old 30th Aug 2009, 19:28
  #256 (permalink)  
 
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Hi!

When happiness is discovering a bathroom (water closet, latrine, etc.) with a Toilet, a Toilet SEAT, AND TOILET PAPER!!!

The Holy Trinity!!!

cliff
NBO
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Old 30th Aug 2009, 22:38
  #257 (permalink)  
 
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Depends on the point of view.

atpcliff,

sometimes happiness is making it to landind just to blast the door open and run to the first suitable spot (doesn´t matter if people can see you) to violently empty your intestines from the meal you had a few hours ago. Aaah, african cuisine!
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Old 31st Aug 2009, 07:54
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Alternatively.....

Make reading Newspapers a Hobby...

A rolled Newspaper under one's arm becames handy sometimes..

Ha..! Ha..! Ha...!!

Talk about entirely new experience.....!!!!!
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Old 2nd Sep 2009, 01:42
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Yeah, newspapers are good, but after the problem was solved. The best is to carry a big plastic bag with you at all times. It could save the day (and the mess).
Anyway, what a ****ty discussion .
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Old 2nd Sep 2009, 14:18
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Or use your sock...ever wondered about pilots walking around the apron with only half a sock on?
Jepp Enroute Charts are quiet good as well...Especially if they're worn, and outdated. Just makes the paper softer.
booze
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