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You Know You Are In Africa When.....

African Aviation Regional issues that affect the numerous pilots who work in this area of the world.

You Know You Are In Africa When.....

Old 17th Nov 2008, 09:36
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You know you are in Africa when one of your passengers boards the plane with a carry bag emblazoned with a picture of Osama bin Laden on one side and a burning World Trade Centre on the other.
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Old 17th Nov 2008, 10:04
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One day in Gabon a couple of years ago we were going through before start checks in the Let 410, plane full of passengers. As I adjusted my seat forward I heard a strange hissing noise accompanied by the smell of roses. What the????

Then a cacophony of laughter erupting from the cabin caught my attention. I turned around and peered back down the cabin to discover what the commotion was all about - the passenger sitting behind me, immaculately attired in a previously black suit was covered head to foot in a fragrant white foam. Further investigation revealed the source - as I had wound my seat forward, the scissor mechanism had crushed the can of air freshener we always carried under the seat, causing it to burst and instantly changing the colour of the passenger sitting behind me to a gleaming white.

The amazing thing was the dignity with which the pax carried himself after the incident, despite being covered head to foot in air freshener foam and being subjected to the ridicule of his fellow passengers. I apologised profusely and offered assistance in the clean up operation, but he insisted on cleaning up himself and didn't seem ruffled in the slightest.

I could not get the image of those two eyes peering out from this gleaming white body out of my mind, and it took me a couple of minutes to compose myself enough to request start.

gotta write this stuff down some time before I forget..
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Old 23rd Nov 2008, 07:16
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This thread just gets better and better! Just got told this story by a pilot from the airline concerned...

Apparently, the Chief Pilot of this fast-growing airline decided that the under-utilised fleet of Beech 1900D's was ideal for operations into 800-1000 m gravel/dirt runways (elevation 5500' AMSL and average temp 25 degrees celsius) when the loads didn't justify a Dash 8, which was 99% of the time. The 1900 pilots' attempts to explain the performance limitations of the 'D' model from such airstrips was met by the following remark from the Chief: "Its a small aircraft - if the Twin Otter or Let-410 can do it, so can the 1900."

Four tyre bursts (2 on the same day) and two lawsuits later, the 1900 was withdrawn from the route. That Chief Pilot is now unemployed....
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Old 2nd Dec 2008, 19:23
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"...when 100 people, 10 goats and 4 spare tires for a AN12 disembark from a YAK 40......''
Hi lads! I laughed until one cries!....
But you forgot about pigs! We prefer pork!

Last edited by kinshas; 2nd Dec 2008 at 20:14.
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Old 3rd Dec 2008, 05:20
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Spurious endorsements

DNK wrote:

Received my Botswana licence with the following:

Night Rating (Aeroplane):
"The holder of this licence is entitled to act as pilot of command of a helicopter carrying passengers by night"
Hey! so maybe that's where my Bots helicopter licence went to; when my initial licence came in it had CPL(A) + IR!
Think they got so used to issuing for C206 that they didn't twig to the B206 (Bell Helicopter) that was submitted. They got it all sorted quick though; and log-books back in good order.

Flug
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Old 6th Dec 2008, 04:32
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you know your in Afica....when you can NEVER trust a fart again....
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Old 2nd Jun 2009, 12:13
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Thumbs down You know you are in Africa when...

Air Namibia's model of their Airbus 340-300 has its outer engines missing (broken off) at the recent Tourism Expo in Windhoek (29/05/2009)
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 00:03
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Thumbs up You know you've flown in Africa when......

You know you've been in Africa when the following Bob Marley songs remind you of the legendary nights you had:

* We Jammin'
* Buffalo Soldier
* Redemption Song
* No Woman No Cry

Great thred Gent's. I've flown with most of you and I'm proud to have had the great experience and memorable times!!!! Let's kep it going!
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 00:55
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....When you see some ground crew in some ****ty dusty strip is refueling from a bucket ......
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 03:56
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You know you're in Africa when:

The locals advise that when the wild dogs that nap in the shade of the airplane are under wingtip shade rather than center/landing gear shade like usual, to beware of cobras on preflight inspection.

Departing the Int'l Airport at night by hotel van, after passing the landscaped grounds, white-painted cement curb and white-painted (to about the 3-foot level) treetrunks of the airport, it leaves the airport, immediately bouncing and rocking on an unlit, dirt roads of the country's capital.

When upon filling the bizjet, the fueler has you write down, on the fuel ticket, the entire serial numbers of all the hundred dollar bills you are paying for fuel with(as there have been counterfeit problems). You smile anyway, knowing that your friends in the company's thirsty Boeing are "due in" shortly....

When jogging on the beach in the morning, you find an (black) human foot/ankle in the sand at high water mark.

When the fuelers are lifetime professionals, are courteous, nicely dressed, show you the fueling pressure they intend to use, drain fuel prior to fueling, test for water, and have you sign having witnessed the test, and know what they're doing, rather than just marking time in a minimum-wage job (!! Yeah, I know!)

Last edited by 727gm; 25th Jun 2011 at 07:16. Reason: Trying the get paragraphs to separate...& sp.
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 04:41
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You know you are in Africa when:

When the some of the "company's" minions, who have been sleeping while you flew all night on another "mission", wake up, meet you in the lobby, and try to get you to fly an all-day mission when you are just rolling into the hotel, heading for a well-deserved rest. (there are no SOP's, no scheduling, for that matter, no manual, etc. just pilot's prudence).

After the aforesaid appeals to a need for sleep fall on deaf ears, you step into the hotel bar for a well-deserved beer (THAT, they seem to understand, means no flying for a few hours), before breakfast, and a well-deserved nap.

When strenuously skeptical of the need to pick up some VIP's at 2:30 A.M. in another capital, and said need is strenuously emphasized, and arriving at said capital yields no VIP's, no fuelers, just a sleepy but hospitable and helpful ATC person, and you get to sleep in the plane. (pickup WAS 2:30 P.M.)

When you finally refuse to ride any four-wheeled vehicle driven by either a French or Belgian (all closet Formula One-wannabe's) so as to not risk killing or maiming the dark-clad pedestrians and animals wandering along the unlit roads to and from the airport.

When, after the motions to demonstrate extreme thirst by fuelers in a North African country, how dissatisfied they are by a can of soda. They wanted beer.... they got it.

Last edited by 727gm; 25th Jun 2011 at 07:19. Reason: sp.
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 05:03
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You know you're in Africa when:

After experiencing the disappearence of mom-n-pop-style FAA Flight Service Stations in the USA 20-some years ago, you can walk in to the met office, and without a common language, get an excellent WX briefing by poring over the meticulously hand-drawn weather charts, looking at the GOES Satellite Photo on the screen(the days before real internet access), and reading the forecast departure and destination WX off a teletype(?).

When there is a machine-gun nest mounted on the ATC tower.

When, with the wonderful power of epaulets, it is possible to walk around AK47-armed airport guards as if they were posts, in order to avoid the long lines of locals, or duck thru any-old baggage conveyor opening to walk out thru any-odd ticket counter for the same purpose.

When walking around back of the baggage x-ray equipment, you see that the luggage conveyor works, but not the x-ray/viewing screen(yet operators are viewing it somewhat intently).

ATC finally gives you your entire ATC route clearance as part of your clearance for an immediate takeoff.

Last edited by 727gm; 14th Jul 2014 at 03:55. Reason: sp./clarification
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 05:49
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You know you're in Africa when:

You have a fresh new F.E. Rating, etc, validated in-country that day by the relevant local authorities while you slept at the hotel, and then blast off that night with a full load of passengers for the Haj with no I.O.E.

Locals refuse to go further into the ocean than about calf-deep. (their mother had said demons might "take" them)

You end up knowing all your frequent passenger's and crewmember's passport numbers and birthdates by heart.

You know what 126.9 is for.

What appears, at first encounter, to be a missing toilet actually has foot pads on either side of it.

You get to the point that you are eventually just pleased to find footpads that actually extend ABOVE the level of the "water" in the stall area, and are DRY!

Bookstores do not carry books written by their famous countrymen, and can't be bothered to obtain copies of them.

You see cities far below, where roads peter-out into trails and just disappear into the scrub.

French-speaking European flight crews pretend that they don't hear you calling them to relay a position report, but English-speaking Europeans and Africans cheerfully pass it on to ATC.

Last edited by 727gm; 25th Jun 2011 at 07:23.
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 14:06
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Only in Africa - nuff said

Rumor had it that the Marshall’s Great Mahogany Throne was installed somewhere in the mid section of his 707. I don’t know, personally, I never saw it first hand,
"Treeeemendous" - check out the rest of the saga

JetPhotos.Net Photo » 9Q-CLK (CN: 17702) Democratic Republic of Congo - Government Boeing 707-138B by Rob Boyes

and comments attached to the pic

Have been reading this thread for 2 days now - classic
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Old 4th Jun 2009, 14:36
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Honestly planecrazi, what exactly is people killed by a train while having sex have to do with aviation ????
Perhaps they were on "cloud 9"
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Old 7th Jun 2009, 06:32
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I recall some years ago while driving in sunny Port Harcourt being road blocked and an individual springing out from the bushes wearing mask from head to knees with a fearful face painted on it and dry grass protruding from all around. He was wielding a machete and dancing around not 6 inches from my face ( though the van window of course).

I asked my driver " Rasheed, what is this business?"
Rasheed's reply " Oh Captin it ees de mediceen mun, he is puttin a cus oon yoo"

After a while he got bored and we were let through.

Funny, I used to be 6'4" and hung like a horse.......now I'm only 5'2".
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Old 1st Jul 2009, 12:04
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New Gal

Hello All

Completely unrelated to most conversation but have to ask.
I am currentlt getting all paper work together to start up a PPL and CPL to fly in Africa. I am looking at doing teh training in Kenya as it woudl mostly be where I am flying eventually - or so I hope.
I am currently putting together a proposal for sponsorship as sadly don't have $45K hanging about under the mattress.
This bearing in mind I would be hoping to do some volunteer flying to gain hours for CPL.
Has anyone done something along these line, if so I would be thrilled if you could share your experiences, advice, warnings etc.

Looking forward to replies

Thanks
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Old 1st Jul 2009, 22:44
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Dude did you read the thread ???...wewe ni mkenya nywele ngumu..chonga viazi na choma makaa....is wat i did.


Again you know u are in Africa when the al-shabaab are boarding ur aircraft with no airport security checks or wanding at all

Last edited by SIERRA ECHO XRAY; 2nd Jul 2009 at 03:54.
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Old 5th Jul 2009, 17:38
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You know that you are there when.....

You transport a nice convertble car for the president of the nation,. and the day after you see a Kid, two years older than you son, asking if you wnt your shoes to be clean.

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Old 21st Aug 2009, 22:01
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After an off-duty session from flying, as a barman through dawn, the local staff arrived to resume normality.
The senior staff member began taking brekky orders, " bacon,two eggs, ok, one egg and l`ll risk the sausage,ok, beans and bacon,ok, barman ? what will you have ? ( actually it was Sir but my skin crawls remembering)
l`ll have a woman please, ok, fruit and a full fry-up please, just a fry-up for me,ok.
Drinking continued and then breakfast plates arrived.
The steward said, very quietly, Sir your woman is outside.

l hope she got a quarter of what l paid to just let her go.
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