You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Join Date: Jul 2006
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The one where an adult female and child, 112kg, were added to the loadsheet and Passenger Manifest because of a pregnant cat in a basket being on board.
Which one are you talking about ?
Which one are you talking about ?
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: west of LTN
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scaramusso.
lf l was too direct l apologise, l didn`t mean to offend.
l believe this thread isn`t about making people feel small, but seeing the humour in lifes inequalities, and unfairness.
l wish you all that you would want yourself.
l believe this thread isn`t about making people feel small, but seeing the humour in lifes inequalities, and unfairness.
l wish you all that you would want yourself.
Which Africa are you guys talking about
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Cradle of Mankind
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You know you are in Africa when you have things happen to you that are so amaizing and interesting that they could not possibly happen anywhere else in the world and as a result you have a thread called "You know you are in Africa when...." just to discribe what goes on here.
Great place.
Great thread.
ct
Great place.
Great thread.
ct
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Eish & Izent
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New hotel, new location. 1st trip - driver clearly agitated, and refused to return alone in the hours of darkness. So now we have one in the bus (armed) and 5 others (also armed) in a bus behind us, travelling at 160 kph... with a very large orange light on the roof (in case someone might miss us passing in the night)...
Telling the stories... it's not only humourous... it's cathartic. On-line therapy?
Keep telling everyone the stories... they are too good!
Telling the stories... it's not only humourous... it's cathartic. On-line therapy?
Keep telling everyone the stories... they are too good!
Last edited by Bartholomew; 30th Sep 2009 at 01:59. Reason: grammar
Mistrust in Management
All staff were 'locked in' on the airline premises with armed guards today for a couple of hours.
It's one way of making sure staff don't leave early but somehow I don't think that was the reason.
Regards
Exeng
It's one way of making sure staff don't leave early but somehow I don't think that was the reason.
Regards
Exeng
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Africa
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It was one of those HOT and busy days in the Okavango Delta and I was running a bit late on my schedule, landed at one camp with the C206 stopped in the parking area, moved my chair forward to let the pax out, I waited a while and nobody got out, when I asked what the problem was, they first just said...."no problem",
so I moved the seat back jumped out and started walking around the aircraft to the other side to open the back door, when the pax in the back asked whether I'm not scared of lions? 
So I then started looking around and only to see three hugh male lions lying around 25 metres from me in the shade, cozy staring at me!! 
Needles to say, I moved around the nose of the aircraft and got back into my seat with the door closed until the game drive vehicle arrived.
so I moved the seat back jumped out and started walking around the aircraft to the other side to open the back door, when the pax in the back asked whether I'm not scared of lions? So I then started looking around and
only to see three hugh male lions lying around 25 metres from me in the shade, cozy staring at me!! Needles to say, I moved around the nose of the aircraft and got back into my seat with the door closed until the game drive vehicle arrived.
Join Date: May 2006
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TAB
Seems like a long time ago. Whenever some first-timer would make a comment in amazement at what had seemed strange or different to him the answer would simply be "TAB". That's Africa Baby. Love it or leave it.
Join Date: Aug 2007
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I was in Kruger Park on an elephant and buffelo cull in 1968, we stayed in a caravan in the bush witha Bell 47. I noticed that our pots and pans etc were nice and clean in the mornings but were manky when we went to bed, after a couple of weeks I remarked to the cook who went home to Skekuza every night that it was kind of someone to come and wash up. 'Oh no,' he said 'that was the hyenas or the lions!' (End of mid-night dumps!!)
Join Date: Feb 2001
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When I ran a personnel consultancy, a gentleman called one day. He had a very pronounced African accent, was pleasantly spoken and sounded educated and polite. I suspected one of my friends, who was a great joker, so I asked the man for his name and number. He gave me an '0471' number, Umtata, in what was then the 'independent' Transkei homeland, and an African name, Dominic Munyawire, a common Chichewa surname. I called back, the telephone was answered with the name of a well known travel agency chain, and I was put through to him. He had all the appropriate experience, courses and qualifications to set him up in a good job. I was delighted. As he went through his many years of experience he mentioned that he was from Malawi and had managed a travel agency there, even giving me the dates. The travel industry was a small world and a good friend of mine, Gary, had been general manager of that same company in Malawi during almost exactly the same period. After the conversation, I called Gary and asked him if he remembered the man.
"Definitely not," he replied without hesitation, "and there were only 22 people in the company and I knew them all by name."
Clutching at straws, I asked if he could have been an employee of one of the company's associates, and again got a negative response.
Intrigued, Gary and I got together later over a cup of tea and hatched a plan whereby I'd call the Malawian, tell him I had a client who was interested in him, and we would set up a telephone interview.
I made the call, telling him that my client was setting up a programme of tours to Malawi, and that he would be the ideal candidate. We arranged for a telephone interview to take place, Gary came to my office, and I made the call. Gary, pretending to be 'Mr. Murphy', the client, picked up the extension and introduced himself. Our man repeated the same information as before, accurate to the last detail. 'Mr. Murphy' asked him to reconfirm the details of his employment in Malawi, expressed his interest in employing him, and said he was going to transfer the call to the director of the company. We then clicked the phone a couple of times and Gary introduced himself, this time under his real name :
"My name is Gary Johnson. Does my name mean anything to you?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, it should, because I was General Manager of the company that you claim to have worked for in Malawi during the exact times that you say you worked there. In other words, I would have been your boss, but we have never heard of each other."
He launched into a lengthy explanation of how his father died and he had to return to the homeland. Gary cut him short and said that he suspected that the whole story was a well orchestrated pack of lies. Gary had wanted to make the man come all the way to Cape Town to be exposed as a liar face to face. Even I felt this was a little unfair, or perhaps I was more concerned about the effects on my office environment as his lies were exposed.
"Ah, well, then I think we have nothing more to discuss. I am sorry we wasted each others' time."
It was a dignified and humble retreat in the face of a defeat which had come about through a million to one chance. I felt a pang of sympathy for this man whom fate had denied the chance of a job, whereas so many others, less qualified and less accomplished liars, had not been caught out and were working in positions for which they were totally incompetent, mostly in government and for SAA.
"Definitely not," he replied without hesitation, "and there were only 22 people in the company and I knew them all by name."
Clutching at straws, I asked if he could have been an employee of one of the company's associates, and again got a negative response.
Intrigued, Gary and I got together later over a cup of tea and hatched a plan whereby I'd call the Malawian, tell him I had a client who was interested in him, and we would set up a telephone interview.
I made the call, telling him that my client was setting up a programme of tours to Malawi, and that he would be the ideal candidate. We arranged for a telephone interview to take place, Gary came to my office, and I made the call. Gary, pretending to be 'Mr. Murphy', the client, picked up the extension and introduced himself. Our man repeated the same information as before, accurate to the last detail. 'Mr. Murphy' asked him to reconfirm the details of his employment in Malawi, expressed his interest in employing him, and said he was going to transfer the call to the director of the company. We then clicked the phone a couple of times and Gary introduced himself, this time under his real name :
"My name is Gary Johnson. Does my name mean anything to you?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, it should, because I was General Manager of the company that you claim to have worked for in Malawi during the exact times that you say you worked there. In other words, I would have been your boss, but we have never heard of each other."
He launched into a lengthy explanation of how his father died and he had to return to the homeland. Gary cut him short and said that he suspected that the whole story was a well orchestrated pack of lies. Gary had wanted to make the man come all the way to Cape Town to be exposed as a liar face to face. Even I felt this was a little unfair, or perhaps I was more concerned about the effects on my office environment as his lies were exposed.
"Ah, well, then I think we have nothing more to discuss. I am sorry we wasted each others' time."
It was a dignified and humble retreat in the face of a defeat which had come about through a million to one chance. I felt a pang of sympathy for this man whom fate had denied the chance of a job, whereas so many others, less qualified and less accomplished liars, had not been caught out and were working in positions for which they were totally incompetent, mostly in government and for SAA.
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We had an 'office boy', a Mozambican, in our Cape Town office whose job was to make tea and coffee and run errands. We noticed that the tea and coffee became progressively worse tasting and more evil smelling as the week went on. The girls sent me to ask him how he made the drinks and if he washed the cups.
"Oh yes", he said, and took me out to the back where, next to the kitchen sink, was a plastic bowl full of black liquid with a rag submerged in its depths. I recognised the rag. It was the same one that he used to clean the floors, wipe the desks, and of course, wash the cups with. He told me he changed the water every week.
"Oh yes", he said, and took me out to the back where, next to the kitchen sink, was a plastic bowl full of black liquid with a rag submerged in its depths. I recognised the rag. It was the same one that he used to clean the floors, wipe the desks, and of course, wash the cups with. He told me he changed the water every week.
Join Date: Sep 2004
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Lions like fresh meat...
Many moons ago:
One Saturday morning (never a good time to be flying in The Delta), a bunch of us from different companies were sent to Xaxanxa to pick up a large group of tourists. Al the 206's arrived some minutes early for the pick-up. Milling around, smoking cigarettes we watched the last one land. Out climbed one of our mates (looking a tad pale). He looked in our direction, but then turned and walked off to the bush on the other side of the runway where he bent over a fallen log and promptly regurgitated his breakfast, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and started walking back towards where the rest of us were standing. He noticed that WE were now looking rather pale. He asked what the problem was and someone pointed behind him; where he had just left his breakfast between three lions lying on the other side of the log. They clearly thought the meat was off...
One Saturday morning (never a good time to be flying in The Delta), a bunch of us from different companies were sent to Xaxanxa to pick up a large group of tourists. Al the 206's arrived some minutes early for the pick-up. Milling around, smoking cigarettes we watched the last one land. Out climbed one of our mates (looking a tad pale). He looked in our direction, but then turned and walked off to the bush on the other side of the runway where he bent over a fallen log and promptly regurgitated his breakfast, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and started walking back towards where the rest of us were standing. He noticed that WE were now looking rather pale. He asked what the problem was and someone pointed behind him; where he had just left his breakfast between three lions lying on the other side of the log. They clearly thought the meat was off...
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You know your in Africa when........
- The marshaller clears you to start No1, amazingly he didn't notice the stairs are still in place.
- The load sheet guy tells you its ok, he is going to increase the fuel burn when you are 2T over MLW.
- ATC wont clear you to land until runway insight, gave up trying to explain we are shooting ILS with cloud base at mins.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Africa
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Cleared for Take Off, keep the sequence you are number three (the other two a/c is still on the runway and about to rotate)
Or cleared to land after, be carefull you are number three or four.
Once had four aircraft on the runway at the same time, either launching or landing!
Or cleared to land after, be carefull you are number three or four.
Once had four aircraft on the runway at the same time, either launching or landing!
Join Date: Jul 2005
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Flying into an uncontrolled strip VFR where the company policy is not to commence visual approach if the Viz is less than 5000m...
The local on the ground who gives us the weather tells us "Captain, visibility a little bit more than 5km".... We pick the runway up at about 1 nm....
The local on the ground who gives us the weather tells us "Captain, visibility a little bit more than 5km".... We pick the runway up at about 1 nm....