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Old 27th Aug 2015, 14:49
  #31341 (permalink)  
 
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"Jim, Mr Scott was only following your orders when you told him to beam up some more pussy, unfortunately a transporter malfunction means they have arrived all dead."
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 14:52
  #31342 (permalink)  
 
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"Jim, you and Mr Scott may find them soft and fluffy, but I find nothing endearing about Klingon scrotums"




..

Last edited by NutLoose; 27th Aug 2015 at 17:16.
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 15:07
  #31343 (permalink)  
 
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Captain, you won't discover this for another 40 years, but eventually, you will be famous for wearing a toupee. Mr Scott here has some samples for you to try.
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 15:44
  #31344 (permalink)  
 
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"They're furry oyster's Jim, a delicacy in this quadrant, Ensign Coffman picked them up on his last visit to the Blue Oyster Bar..."
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 15:48
  #31345 (permalink)  
 
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"Toupee or not Toupee, that is the question"
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 15:50
  #31346 (permalink)  
 
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"I said we need some Kimwipe not quimwipes"
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 16:14
  #31347 (permalink)  

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We found these in Ensign Sulu's quarters. When I asked the Ensign why they were in his bed, all he said was, "Oh myyy..."
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 16:31
  #31348 (permalink)  
 
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Yes, I'm sorry, this is all catering could provide us with - but I'm told they're delicious with hollandaise sauce.
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 16:51
  #31349 (permalink)  
 
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They have arrived from Starfleet. They say that we no longer have to "Baldly Go Where No Man has Gone Before".
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 16:55
  #31350 (permalink)  
 
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I think that they are something to do with Ground Attack: the label on the box said "Mudd Moving".


(You need to be a Trekkie to remember that one).
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 16:55
  #31351 (permalink)  
 
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They are to be delivered to Tribble One Squadron!
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 17:07
  #31352 (permalink)  
 
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Typical ... This is what happens when you put the Air Eng in charge of Aircrew Rations
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 17:15
  #31353 (permalink)  
 
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No Mr Scott ... The Enterprise FRC's clearly use the 'mnemonic' Hairy Balls for the pre-orbital checks ... These are Furry Balls
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 17:26
  #31354 (permalink)  
 
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You idiots ... I said 'Man the Pom Pom Gun'
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 19:23
  #31355 (permalink)  
 
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Quartermaster has run out of jerkins, Captain .. will merkins do?
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 19:54
  #31356 (permalink)  
 
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Mr Spock use all sub-space hailing frequencies and contact the Army Air Corps ... We need that bl00dy Eagle back
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 21:20
  #31357 (permalink)  
 
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Crackerjack was so much easier when they used cabbages for the Double or Drop game.
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Old 27th Aug 2015, 21:24
  #31358 (permalink)  
 
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We have entered a time warp captain....the costume department have sent in the sample wigs for Patrick Stewart and the series has not even been commissioned yet!
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Old 28th Aug 2015, 00:44
  #31359 (permalink)  
 
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"I'm afraid I can't control it Captain. Ever since the Doctor gave me that medicine, every time I cough one falls out of my ar5e!
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Old 28th Aug 2015, 06:05
  #31360 (permalink)  

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"Cap'n, she's canna take it....she's gonna blow!"

"Scottie, you mean the main reactor?"

"No, Cap'n......I mean the candy floss machine!"
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