ATC IssuesA place where pilots may enter the 'lions den' that is Air Traffic Control in complete safety and find out the answers to all those obscure topics which you always wanted to know the answer to but were afraid to ask.
Aeroflot routeing to EINN and then to Cuba at time of tension...
"Aeroflot 123 do you carry transponder?"
"Negative sir, ve only carry agricultural equipment"
and
on Red 3 EGAA to EGGP!!
"Preston this is Cambrian 123 is FL80 available?"
"Cambrian 123, Preston, Affirmative climb to FL80"
"Negative Preston, we don't want FL80, just wanted to know if it was available!"
FK27 outbound from EGBB has an unusually good rate of climb, sufficiently good in fact that the following conversation took place.
Me: "xxx123 check your aircraft type is a Fokker Friendship?"
A/c; " Affirm London... (pause)... GTI."
Made me chuckle :-)
Also; In the days that the Red Devils used to parachute over Queens Parade and work TMA south for entry into controlled airspace, a Quantas jumbo on a SAM departure on a sunny day reported "Hey, London, there's an aircraft on our left hand side and there's people falling out of it."
Aware of the presence of the BN2 used by the team (GORED), the controller replied "is it a red islander?" The Quantas then replied "Blimey, that's a good radar!"
ATCO "XYZ123 cleared FL300 and report to London on 123.34"
A/C "Climb FL300 and call 123.34, that was quick"
ATCO "always is..."
A/C "oh, poor girl, give her my number"
Or the new Eurocontrol ACAS II bulletin which talks about a conflict induced by a BAe 146 having good climb performance!!!
An Editor from Private Pilot Mag. has written an article about the Shorts 360 - i'm gonna paraphrase the funny stuff
"We were flying island-hopper service in a shorts 360 .... Number two holding short, behind us, was a Continential 737-800 .... one of the pilots keyed the mic and said to me and Joey, 'Hey, you guys build that thing yourselves?' .... joey and i exchanged the look that flight crews have probably exchanged since the first Shorts hit the line. As in ... you wanna respond to this morning's put-down, or shall I? ..... We could have said, 'Dont laugh; its paid for.' .... or 'Opps, they forgot to take our airplane out of the box.' .... or 'I may be slow, but i'm ahead of you.' .... or 'We've had five beauty queens from Osaka in our shorts this week, over' "
Me, doing circuits with instructor in very hazy conditions...
Tower: "Nxxx, cleared touch and go, two five right."
Me (prim and proper voice): "Cleared touch and go, two five right, Nxxx (undetected stuck-mic, me with growling tone to my instructor...) YEAH! If I can see the DAMN RUNWAY!!!!"
Instructor instantly pounces on switch on yoke infront of a startled me, whilst guffawing with laughter!
:o :o :o
(Well, my instructor was pissing himself! )
Last edited by Haul By Cable : 28th August 2002 at 22:00.
Years ago flying around the Indian Ocean I was amazed to find the 3 waypoints 200nm northwest, north and northeast of Gan where respectively WHATA BUMMR and MOMMA. How did that one get past the waypoint name allocators in Montreal?
sorry to sound serious but since when did icao have any say over what reporting points are called? as far as im aware the only rule there is about naming them is that they must have 5 letters and at least one vowel. but has anyone noticed dandi and beeno in the north sea?
R/T Gaffes
Me, doing circuits with instructor in very hazy conditions...
Linear Mode
