ATC Humour (Merged)
Join Date: May 2002
Location: preston
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
from the gutersloh line book. tower to visiting bea viscount(this was in 73) are you familiar with gutersloh? the reply was "i was hrer in 43 but i didnt stop"
also from frankfurt, usaf c130"can you ask the lufthansa 747 in front of us to come up on 130.9" lufthansa 747"we dont use unauthorised frequencies" usaf c130"tower in that case can you inform him hes still got all his undercarraige locks in!"
also from frankfurt, usaf c130"can you ask the lufthansa 747 in front of us to come up on 130.9" lufthansa 747"we dont use unauthorised frequencies" usaf c130"tower in that case can you inform him hes still got all his undercarraige locks in!"
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: sydney,nsw,oz
Posts: 7
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
On Sydney Gound not too long ago (most QANTAS aircraft are named after OZ ctiies or towns):
Ground: EAL give way to 767 city of Bundaberg outbound.
EAL: Roger
Ground: OGM your number one to the city of Geelong, taxy to holding point...
OGM: Roger, you've got good eyes!
Ground: Yeah, and I can see the gestures you're making at the tower.
OGM: It's not me, it's the bloke sitting next to me!
Ground: The one with the bad haircut?
OGM: Yeah.
Ground: EAL give way to 767 city of Bundaberg outbound.
EAL: Roger
Ground: OGM your number one to the city of Geelong, taxy to holding point...
OGM: Roger, you've got good eyes!
Ground: Yeah, and I can see the gestures you're making at the tower.
OGM: It's not me, it's the bloke sitting next to me!
Ground: The one with the bad haircut?
OGM: Yeah.
Join Date: May 2002
Location: preston
Posts: 433
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
gut logbook
i left gut in 85! but dont forget that theres still an raf atc presence. the army wanted to keep the airfield open for the timmys but they forgot to tell the raf untill it was too late!
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: SE UK
Posts: 69
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Before my time but part of LGW legend:
Posh Pilot - "CFE8086 approaching taxiway 2" (but with at least 200m to run)
Northern ATCO - "Well keep on bloody approaching then!"
And the same guy having slighlty miscalculated a deprture gap...
"Take off quickly. Fly slowly!"
Posh Pilot - "CFE8086 approaching taxiway 2" (but with at least 200m to run)
Northern ATCO - "Well keep on bloody approaching then!"
And the same guy having slighlty miscalculated a deprture gap...
"Take off quickly. Fly slowly!"
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Dubai
Posts: 74
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One of the controllers here occasionally says (off the frequency) when there is a whining pilot on the frequency :
"Would you like some cheese to go with that w(h)ine sir?"
AND
How about the slip of the tounge on Arrivals (me).
"XYZ123, Cleared ILS APP RWY 30L report likeloser established"
the next 6 or 7 aircraft all readback "LIKELOSER established"
Seemed funny at the time though !!
"Would you like some cheese to go with that w(h)ine sir?"
AND
How about the slip of the tounge on Arrivals (me).
"XYZ123, Cleared ILS APP RWY 30L report likeloser established"
the next 6 or 7 aircraft all readback "LIKELOSER established"
Seemed funny at the time though !!
Last edited by Standard_Departure; 16th Aug 2002 at 06:35.
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: south coast Bournemouth Area
Posts: 15
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Loaded Magazine
Hello All
Look in the back pages of loaded in amongst the porn numbers and the cannabis growing kit is an advert for NATS
And in my inbox the afternoon an offical appology
now that's ATC Humour
MM
Look in the back pages of loaded in amongst the porn numbers and the cannabis growing kit is an advert for NATS
And in my inbox the afternoon an offical appology
now that's ATC Humour
MM
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LSZH
Posts: 26
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
slip of the tongue...
the ones which still happen to me are:
hotel rolf gomeo (golf romeo...) and the classical "slide glope". but only when i'm really overstressed.
and last week heard twice a heading 365 in atc-sim . and in one, a fellow blipdriver read it back
cheers
hotel rolf gomeo (golf romeo...) and the classical "slide glope". but only when i'm really overstressed.
and last week heard twice a heading 365 in atc-sim . and in one, a fellow blipdriver read it back
cheers
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: By here now in a minute
Posts: 122
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Heard at Eastleigh:
"Navy Swordfish solent - report your a/c type"
After being told the local standby is for an RT fail a/c - "Tower fire 1 - once landed can you ask the a/c to contact us on 121.6"
"Navy Swordfish solent - report your a/c type"
After being told the local standby is for an RT fail a/c - "Tower fire 1 - once landed can you ask the a/c to contact us on 121.6"
Beady Eye
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 1,495
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Just recalled this gem from the aforementioned cockney wide boy whilst serving at the Gut.
Two French mirages in the circuit, first lands and the second is too tight behind, told to go round. Next approach, told to go round again to which he replies "Ev I 'ave to go 'round again I 'ave to jump out!" Quick as a flash our hero replies "Roger, understand you're fuel priority......."
Two French mirages in the circuit, first lands and the second is too tight behind, told to go round. Next approach, told to go round again to which he replies "Ev I 'ave to go 'round again I 'ave to jump out!" Quick as a flash our hero replies "Roger, understand you're fuel priority......."
Join Date: May 2001
Location: UAE
Age: 62
Posts: 516
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
quite a while ago in Perth West OZ.....
ATC...long and complete bollocking a pilot for unauthorized level change...
unknown pilot...Perth, do you have another frequency for us that we can use?
ATC...why?
Unknown...theres a p1ssed off tone on this one!
ATC...long and complete bollocking a pilot for unauthorized level change...
unknown pilot...Perth, do you have another frequency for us that we can use?
ATC...why?
Unknown...theres a p1ssed off tone on this one!
Mess Your Passage
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Temporarily Unaware......
Age: 24
Posts: 313
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A somewhat overloaded controller famous for going into " Standby " mode at peak times
A/C Twr G-xxxx
ATC Standby shutdown will call you back in five mins
A/C But im over the marina..................
A/C Twr G-xxxx
ATC Standby shutdown will call you back in five mins
A/C But im over the marina..................
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Brisbane Australia
Posts: 6
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Tower controller (procedural station, running out of answers) to lightie approaching overhead the VOR on aid work:
"Juliet Echo Mike, maintain five thousand, track visually north of the 360 radial!"
LLZe
"Juliet Echo Mike, maintain five thousand, track visually north of the 360 radial!"
LLZe
