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ATC Humour (Merged)

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ATC Humour (Merged)

Old 10th Aug 2002, 12:18
  #121 (permalink)  
 
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from the gutersloh line book. tower to visiting bea viscount(this was in 73) are you familiar with gutersloh? the reply was "i was hrer in 43 but i didnt stop"
also from frankfurt, usaf c130"can you ask the lufthansa 747 in front of us to come up on 130.9" lufthansa 747"we dont use unauthorised frequencies" usaf c130"tower in that case can you inform him hes still got all his undercarraige locks in!"
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Old 12th Aug 2002, 09:40
  #122 (permalink)  
Alba Gu Brath
 
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Canberra

Any idea if the GUT linebook survived the pongo's takeover. Should be placed in a museum that book.
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Old 12th Aug 2002, 14:36
  #123 (permalink)  
 
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On Sydney Gound not too long ago (most QANTAS aircraft are named after OZ ctiies or towns):

Ground: EAL give way to 767 city of Bundaberg outbound.
EAL: Roger
Ground: OGM your number one to the city of Geelong, taxy to holding point...
OGM: Roger, you've got good eyes!
Ground: Yeah, and I can see the gestures you're making at the tower.
OGM: It's not me, it's the bloke sitting next to me!
Ground: The one with the bad haircut?
OGM: Yeah.
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Old 12th Aug 2002, 21:24
  #124 (permalink)  
 
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Cool

Heard today on the RT:
Frenchperson - '....leaving your fragrancy...'

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Old 13th Aug 2002, 12:29
  #125 (permalink)  
 
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Today at Dubai Arrivals:

ARR. A/C XXX, slow down 250
A/C Slow down 250 XXX and ,eh, what made you slow us down?
ARR. You did.


A.V.
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Old 13th Aug 2002, 16:50
  #126 (permalink)  
 
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gut logbook

i left gut in 85! but dont forget that theres still an raf atc presence. the army wanted to keep the airfield open for the timmys but they forgot to tell the raf untill it was too late!
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Old 13th Aug 2002, 21:12
  #127 (permalink)  
 
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Cool

Before my time but part of LGW legend:

Posh Pilot - "CFE8086 approaching taxiway 2" (but with at least 200m to run)

Northern ATCO - "Well keep on bloody approaching then!"

And the same guy having slighlty miscalculated a deprture gap...

"Take off quickly. Fly slowly!"

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Old 15th Aug 2002, 16:30
  #128 (permalink)  
 
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GMC: Taxi stand xy

Pilot: Taxi stand xy. Any route?

GMC: Just stay off the grass...

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Old 16th Aug 2002, 06:30
  #129 (permalink)  
 
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One of the controllers here occasionally says (off the frequency) when there is a whining pilot on the frequency :

"Would you like some cheese to go with that w(h)ine sir?"

AND

How about the slip of the tounge on Arrivals (me).

"XYZ123, Cleared ILS APP RWY 30L report likeloser established"

the next 6 or 7 aircraft all readback "LIKELOSER established"

Seemed funny at the time though !!

Last edited by Standard_Departure; 16th Aug 2002 at 06:35.
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Old 16th Aug 2002, 19:53
  #130 (permalink)  
 
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Cool Loaded Magazine

Hello All

Look in the back pages of loaded in amongst the porn numbers and the cannabis growing kit is an advert for NATS
And in my inbox the afternoon an offical appology
now that's ATC Humour

MM
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Old 17th Aug 2002, 20:34
  #131 (permalink)  
 
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slip of the tongue...

the ones which still happen to me are:

hotel rolf gomeo (golf romeo...) and the classical "slide glope". but only when i'm really overstressed.

and last week heard twice a heading 365 in atc-sim . and in one, a fellow blipdriver read it back

cheers
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Old 17th Aug 2002, 22:09
  #132 (permalink)  
 
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Heard at Eastleigh:

"Navy Swordfish solent - report your a/c type"

After being told the local standby is for an RT fail a/c - "Tower fire 1 - once landed can you ask the a/c to contact us on 121.6"
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Old 18th Aug 2002, 15:52
  #133 (permalink)  
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Just recalled this gem from the aforementioned cockney wide boy whilst serving at the Gut.

Two French mirages in the circuit, first lands and the second is too tight behind, told to go round. Next approach, told to go round again to which he replies "Ev I 'ave to go 'round again I 'ave to jump out!" Quick as a flash our hero replies "Roger, understand you're fuel priority......."
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Old 19th Aug 2002, 00:32
  #134 (permalink)  
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and of course ....

Virgin with a tight slot .......
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Old 19th Aug 2002, 07:01
  #135 (permalink)  
 
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Talking

quite a while ago in Perth West OZ.....

ATC...long and complete bollocking a pilot for unauthorized level change...

unknown pilot...Perth, do you have another frequency for us that we can use?

ATC...why?

Unknown...theres a p1ssed off tone on this one!
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Old 19th Aug 2002, 10:52
  #136 (permalink)  

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A somewhat overloaded controller famous for going into " Standby " mode at peak times

A/C Twr G-xxxx

ATC Standby shutdown will call you back in five mins

A/C But im over the marina..................
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Old 19th Aug 2002, 11:50
  #137 (permalink)  
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Im not sure how it got there but the Gutersloh Line Book resides in the ATCEB HQ - welcome any time.
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Old 21st Aug 2002, 22:34
  #138 (permalink)  
 
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Apparently Scottish worked a plane last tuesday
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Old 21st Aug 2002, 23:34
  #139 (permalink)  
 
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Smile

Tower controller (procedural station, running out of answers) to lightie approaching overhead the VOR on aid work:

"Juliet Echo Mike, maintain five thousand, track visually north of the 360 radial!"


LLZe
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Old 22nd Aug 2002, 00:34
  #140 (permalink)  
 
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Overheard on FAJS GMC,

ATC - ABC232 Fl350 is not available, what is you alternate.

ABC232 - Bloemfontein (Without hesitation)
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