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I need some advice.

Old 19th Nov 2019, 13:58
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 1
I need some advice.

I am not sure if this the write place to write this but I thought If I share my story with someone I might get some advice.
So I am from Bangladesh and I wanted to do something different so I thought of becoming a pilot. I knew no one in the aviation industry and had no idea what flight training is about. I then contacted a school in south of the UK ( i will not mention any names as i want to remain anonymous ) and they accepted me, then in went to the uk and had my first lesson. I didnít really feel anything about my first flight. I know a lot of people feel very excited on their first flight but I wasnít. First 4-5 flights were ok but after that I didnít enjoy flying, I started hating it. But i ignored the feeling as I didnít think I had the option to stop as I came specially from Bangladesh and my parents put a lot of money for my accommodation and everything. And the biggest thing was that every single relative of mine knew I was becoming a pilot and they were all excited and I felt if i comeback Iíll have to hear from people from the rest of my life that I failed or I am not good enough. I know some people in the west might not understand this but unfortunately the society we live in people keep talking about other people.

Then i changed schools as I wasnít getting enough bookings. At that time I had around 45 hours and I still hadnít completed my PPL. I found a school in the midlands who said they will book me often and i was satisfied. There was a 5-6 month gap between changing schools. So here i was now in a new school. 4 months in i managed to fly around 35 hours. I was very close to do my cross country and then the test but then my visa was due to expire and to renew that i had to go back to Bangladesh. When i returned the school was sold to some other company so everything changed. They only had one instructor who was very rude and would often get angry about something in flights. I stayed patient and flew with him 5-6 times as they only had one instructor at that time. And in those 4-5 flights i was extremely depressed because he would keep getting angry and would say Iím nit working hard and that i will fail the test. Then he sent me solo for a nav and before i went he told me that he thinks Iíll get lost. I never had such an awful instructor who instead of giving the student confidence he was being extremely negative. Luckily they got a new instructor and i started flying with him and now Iím waiting for the weather to improve and go do my Qxc.

So in total it has been 2 years almost a hundred hours and Thousands of pounds spent by my parents and i still have nothing to show for it and I still hate flying. I sometimes wish I never have to fly and that the weather stays bad everyday. I feel guilty about everything and I deciding to become a pilot is my biggest regret in life so far. Inside my heart and mind I want to finish my PPL and never fly again in my life.I feel Iím just wasting money as most of the time the weather in the uk is bad and all i do is sit around. But I feel if i quit Iíll always have the guilt of wasting my parents hard earned money and Iíll have to listen to my family and my relatives about me quitting flying for the rest of my life,

Thank you for your time if you read this and i hope someone can give me some advice that what they would do if they were in my place.
MJN01 is offline  
Old 19th Nov 2019, 21:27
  #2 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 17
I would suggest that you stop everything that you're doing right now as it seems to me that you're just burning money.

Sit and think about what you want to do in life, make a list of your skills, qualifications and what you like to do and match that up to jobs that are out there.

Definitely stop flying as if you don't enjoy it, you will not be learning to your full potential. In a normal career this doesn't matter but as a pilot your life and others can be put in danger.

​Good luck with your new path.
lcolman is offline  
Old 21st Nov 2019, 13:59
  #3 (permalink)  
JRK
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 20
For some reason, your story reminded me of my old grandfather. In his youth he got into the army because that was a way to get out of a deep rural area and out of poverty. When it was time to choose specialisation, he was called into the relevant office and asked: "Medic or fighter pilot? Pick one!" He equally had no clue what either profession is about. He picked medic by way of a mental coin toss and off he went. Had a long, successful and satisfying career as a military doctor for over 40 years. Once I asked if he ever reflected on that day and what - in his opinion - would have happened if he had made a wrong choice. To this he replied: "I could not have made a wrong choice. Either of the two would be the right one."
JRK is offline  
Old 24th Nov 2019, 14:53
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Germany
Posts: 16
Unfortunately, and in many ways fortunately, the path to becoming a pilot is tough. No passenger wants someone who is not motivated to fly to be in charge of their safety at 10k. That you decided to become a pilot because you just thought of doing something different explains why you lack the motivation and even hate flying. This profession requires passion and that is what gives you the motivation to go through the literal ups & downs throughout the demanding training, Things are only going to get more difficult & costly from where you are now.

However, that you have been at it for 2 years displays certain persistency that is not a bad thing to have. You should apply this quality into something that you have a passion for and not waste more of your parents' savings into something that you only do for the sake of it. Life is about making mistakes and it takes guts to admit and confront the consequences of a big one. You should come clean to your parents and while you may expect them to be upset at first, you will hopefully get some advice on how to move forward from here. In any case, it is not advisable to continue your flight training.
tsvpilot is offline  
Old 24th Nov 2019, 21:34
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Oxford
Age: 81
Posts: 302
I agree with what tsvpilot has written. I admire your persistence in pursuing a career as a pilot and would ask you if you would be the same in a career that you wanted to do? I think the answer is "Yes" and I feel that you must sit down with your parents and discuss this with them very carefully. As a parent, grandparent, life long pilot and also someone well aware of the different attitudes to these matters in your homeland, I would still say you need to face the matter with your parents (yes, difficult, but they sound very supportive people!) and re-think your future. In my opinion you have made a serious attempt to enter the aviation world and have realised that it is not for you - very brave to admit that and sounds as if you are sensible enough to move on, and I am sure your parents will support you in this!
I wish you all the best for the future, which holds numerous opportunities for you!

Bill
Bill Macgillivray is offline  
Old 25th Nov 2019, 09:54
  #6 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Newark'ish
Posts: 62
Agree with what has been said, but most importantly of all if you do change course please do not constantly look back on this as a waste of time.

You will have learnt so many life skills that will be of benefit in whatever career you choose.
mikemmb is offline  
Old 4th Dec 2019, 11:11
  #7 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: UK
Posts: 1,218
A sad story.

Idiot instructors who shout at their students are despicable. I once had a poor instructor who shouted at me right in the middle of me flying a go-around, in a twin piston, at night. I immediately shouted back, telling him not to shout at me and that I was cancelling the test and would be changing instructor. Another time, I sat in the back while my colleague on the course did a flight with another instructor who was very rude and shouty. I witnessed yet another instructor telling off a foreign airforce cadet for going into town; “who gave you permission to go into town?”.

YOU, or your family, are paying these instructor’s wages. They are working for you. There is no reason to be rude or shout at a student*. If something is going badly wrong, a calm, authoritative “I have control” from the instructor is all that is required.

If a student is not “getting it”, then the instructor is at fault for either not explaining it properly, or not realising that the student is not ready, or that the student does not have enough skill.

In the OPs case, I think you must ask yourself a difficult question: Do you really want to become a pilot? If not, you must stop now, and stop wasting your family’s money. You will have to explain to them and others why you didn’t become a pilot, but there need be no shame or loss of face. You just need to find a way to reconcile it to yourself and others. At least you have tried hard, but it is not for you.

Good luck.


*Unless they are just about to walk into a turning propellor or something.
Uplinker is offline  
Old 4th Dec 2019, 11:25
  #8 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 464
I understand your pain about disappointing your parents but if you really don't want to fly - DON'T.

Perhaps a little white lie to your parents? - A medical exam has highlighted an obscure defect with your vision, which means you can't get a Class 1 Medical (or whatever is required where you intended to fly).
Create a career in some other field, earn money - pay back your parents what they've layed out so far. One day, further down the road when you've no doubt made a good success of your life in this other career - you can tell them about the eye story. By then, they won't care; they'll be too proud of what you have become.

Good Luck!
Auxtank is offline  
Old 5th Dec 2019, 17:09
  #9 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 60
Originally Posted by Uplinker View Post
A sad story.

Idiot instructors who shout at their students are despicable. I once had a poor instructor who shouted at me right in the middle of me flying a go-around, in a twin piston, at night. I immediately shouted back, telling him not to shout at me and that I was cancelling the test and would be changing instructor. Another time, I sat in the back while my colleague on the course did a flight with another instructor who was very rude and shouty. I witnessed yet another instructor telling off a foreign airforce cadet for going into town; ďwho gave you permission to go into town?Ē.

YOU, or your family, are paying these instructorís wages. They are working for you. There is no reason to be rude or shout at a student*. If something is going badly wrong, a calm, authoritative ďI have controlĒ from the instructor is all that is required.

If a student is not ďgetting itĒ, then the instructor is at fault for either not explaining it properly, or not realising that the student is not ready, or that the student does not have enough skill.

In the OPs case, I think you must ask yourself a difficult question: Do you really want to become a pilot? If not, you must stop now, and stop wasting your familyís money. You will have to explain to them and others why you didnít become a pilot, but there need be no shame or loss of face. You just need to find a way to reconcile it to yourself and others. At least you have tried hard, but it is not for you.

Good luck.


*Unless they are just about to walk into a turning propellor or something.
It's not all bad for you. You could sue him for offending your sensibilities, and claim for the PTSD inflicted. He might argue though, that you needed persuading not to kill him during your go around.

The flight deck is not the ideal environment to shout at someone, (PACE model anyone ?), however 'despicable' seems a strong adjective.
If it happens again, grow a pair, and if you're sure you're not doing something which could cause an accident, tell him to eff off, and that you'll discuss it and sort it out after landing.
SID PLATE is offline  
Old 10th Dec 2019, 09:15
  #10 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 4
Honest advice

I have around 12000 hours as a flight instructor, through all phases of training up to MECIR and also hold examiners ratings to the same levels. My best advice is to look into yourself. Next, be aware that the manipulation of controls, navigation , and understanding the airways system is just essential basics. Donít believe these things make an airline captain or even a competent pilot. Your attitude to safety, systems and personnel management, manufacturer operating instructions combined with regulators and company procedures, are what makes up the type of person that will be a successful career pilot. Candidly, all this takes passion and dedication. Itís a very personal matter. Starting out is more than very hard. To push through the first 1500 hours is a challenge that close to 80% of flying school graduates donít have the personal discipline to achieve. If you donít like flying now, you can guarantee that you wont have to fly for much longer. You just wont make it in the industry. Face up to the challenge and accept you made a mistake. All the money in the world wont change the fact that your decision to become a pilot was not suitable for you. Life is to short to waste on chasing your errors in life. Bite the bullet, accept your error and move on with your life. I hope your next career choice will make you a happy and prosperous person. Cheers 😊
Simon3 is offline  
Old 13th Dec 2019, 17:31
  #11 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: UK
Posts: 1,218
Originally Posted by SID PLATE View Post
.........…..He might argue though, that you needed persuading not to kill him during your go around.

The flight deck is not the ideal environment to shout at someone...……... 'despicable' seems a strong adjective.
If it happens again, grow a pair, and if you'resure you're not doing something which could cause an accident, tell him to eff off, and that you'll discuss it and sort it out after landing.
(my bold)

I did As I said in my post you quoted, I shouted straight back and told him I was cancelling the test.

I am always open to being constructively criticised - particularly during training, obviously - but my "crime" was a needle's width deviation, and therefore absolutely no reason to be shouted at for - especially at the precise moment of a critical and high workload single pilot situation, at night, that I was learning.
Uplinker is offline  

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