Grandad left the horse and carriage to the wrong person.....

Having failed it's MOT the owner takes it out to the desert...and shoots it

Life’s a beach

You know I have new respect for these tyres, look what they have to put up with!

My family offered me a French driver so that I could ride pillion......

"I ordered it metallic green so I'm taking it straight back and I'm telling my daddy!"

"They've only just removed the stabilisers off my bicycle, so what chance did I have of staying upright on this thing?"

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Speed kills! Ride a HONDA and live

(It's not that you will live longer, it's that the boredom will make it seem longer...)

Just watch out on the underpass, I hear the traffic is wicked.

No, I said I was out of breath, not I want to ride the Wall of Death...

...and if the Bull charges just get on the scooter and ride it to safety....assuming it starts...

Like wearing a Nazi outfit to a party this did seem a good idea at the time.

They said there was no room on the bike for a spare, but I could be a kickstand if I wanted.

While taking a landscape photo for his portfolio, Tim later complained some tw@t strides across the field...
Who said ' don't you know who I am??'

It was only after Prince H jumped on the Honda in Liverpool did he discover some thieving Scroat had nicked the Royal saddle...
I'm sure there are some honest law abiding people in Merseyside ...some..

You're welcome to the Coronation they said... were sending transport they said... it's this week they said... F"$&$)**^! Families...

Hey Harry, is that your bike?
Naa, she's back in California

Why did you tell the gullible fool that was the way to bumpstart a motorbike?

As the old saying goes: “Absence makes the fart go Honda”

Surely its "Absinthe". (I've also heard an "Abscess" variant).