"You can rush all you want lads....but until one of you bugg*rs signs for it you aint going anywhere!"

"Sorry Sir, that bag will not fit in the overhead locker...it must go in the hold!"

This always happens when an engineer with oily hands fits the ladder.

Where's the skipper?
Be along in a minute, kissing his ass goodbye.

Hurry up lads, her husbands home early

'Urry up yew 'orrible lot, the bloke with the Phantom on 'is wagon has dumped it orf at the scrappers and now 'ee's comin' after our loverly Victors...

Moscow, Moscow... did anyone bring a map?

Come on you lot, fast getaway. Remember, we’re at Speke so any tardiness and who knows what’ll go missing!

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....46fa9974f3.jpg

Faster, faster! There's no point in having a deterrent force if it can't reach a gathering of 11 people before it breaks up.

The image had been doctored to obliterate the RAF Police Dog checking Fs1250.

Oh wait, did I put the cat out and leave a note for the milkman?

These remote control model aircraft are so lifelike. Even the tiny action men.

" Does my bomb look big in this? "

• Blue Danube Fission weapon.
• Red Snow for Yellow Sun Mk.2.
• Green Grass For Yellow Sun Mk.1.
• Red Beard, tactical nuclear weapon.

does it matter that i'm colour blind? Said the armourer

Dammit said the Pilot, picked up the wrong ignition key in my hurry

"Sorry Mate. We heard a siren and thought you were the ice-cream van."

"We are the crew of Flt Lt Spoils. Somebody said that we should go to the Victor."

Run as fast as you like knobs, there is no "shotgun". I'm the Co, and I sit next to the driver.

Hoskins wandered if this would be a good time to mention his ringtone was the same as the scramble alarm!