Early radio system, microphone ok but a loudspeaker. ..wish they would invent headphones

This air to air photography will never take off I mean why would enthusiastic people ( let's call them Spotters) take snaps and ask for Comments and Criticism. ..

"Pity those poor Sods in the trenches" they said, "Join the RAC instead & get instant access to the Officers Club" they said....bastards!

Looking in the mirror, Hoskins was concerned about the lack of pilots.

…...and it the emergency oxygen bottle fails remember to manually inflate 'George' before passing out

Once the ram-air experiments are complete, Farnborough will turn its attention to area rule design.

Pilot to Nav," Look I know you are upset because I have been giving your wife a good old fashioned seeing to as you have 'problems' in that area, but PLEASE give me a course back to base.
Nav to Pilot, that's ok as I have the only parachute in the aircraft, bye….

Pilot to gunner..."Focker coming in at 3 o'clock
Gunner to Pilot,... 3 o'clock, but its only 10 to 12....

1917 Observer to Pilot... erm sir I think that was one of ours, but don't worry I have pulled the circuit breaker on the gun cam
Pilot damm this flight simulator is good....

Pilot thinks...I really must take up a less dangerous career. ..I know a Security guard in the British Museum, statue division.

Rolls Royce marry their 2 divisions, Aircraft and Posh cars.... they both need chauffeur, so the type training is simple

He'll be really angry when he discovers someone's put a dirty great fire extinguisher in front of his picnic basket.

Until all aircraft are rebuilt with 2 m between crew members, pilots are responsible for their own navigation.

Michael Caine receives training in the "How to shake Your head while Firing Machine Guns" simulator before filming the in cockpit combat sequences for "The Battle of Britain".

I might have seen this caption before somewhere, but:

Maintenance report -- mixture not adjusted correctly.
Engineering note -- mixture control refitted in more prominent position.

I won’t be a moment, I’m just firing off a snotogram to HQ.

Entries are slowing down, so I'll call it:

Second place and a Mention in Dispatches:

But the winner, keeping it short and to the point:

Take it away Nutty.

Sunday morning caption while waiting for picture ( also the full Scottish being made )

Picture published of Buster sticking needles in Nutty avatar

Blimey, thank you, I will treasure the trophy, OK on with the next one..


https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....000f1b11ea.jpg

"Who called the cook a bastard?"

"Who called the bastard a cook?"

"Can I have Spam, Spam,Spam,Spam and Spam?"

Ttfn

"Portions are a bit small?"
"Well as you can see, 6 squadron have been at the supplies..."

"How do you like your Rat Sir?"

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Hitherto unseen photo of Dudley Moore and Peter Cook during their Army days, as Cook develops his E L Wisty persona...

Half the men are angry about the food. Why did you leave a Chinese knife on the serving table?

Because you can't fire a rifle if you're holding a knife.

When one paid extra for 'Topless service' this isn't what one had in mind.

Dessert Rat? I thought it referred to the fighters.

No custard for me, thank you, I'm a Blue Angel.

Well, Monty might be a bloody vegetarian but by God I want some meat on my plate!

"I'm sorry, men, the snow is lying deep and crisp and even, but we had definite instructions to practise desert warfare today."

Australians? No they are away posting boxes of sand back to their cricket team.

More Poitrine de Boeuf au Boite de Conserve, Sir ?

Side note. I was once on a field exercise with spectacularly bad food served by a food tent mostly manned by army privates on a punishment detail :rolleyes: One wag redid the chock board "menu" with over the top descriptions of the slop being handed out. He got a bolcking from the Supply Major who was more incensed with the alleged disrespect then the fact that his operation was a disgrace :mad:

Sorry Mr Powell but you have failed the cookery badge, think you need to start your own boys troop in Brownsea

I thought this was a Army exercise, so why have we a Sea Cadet with us?

So when you signed up they asked 'What was your previous profession? I cant believe you told them Chef"
"No I actually said I was Third mate on a Correllian Freighter that did the Kessel Run in under 3 parsecs. Not that Millenium Falcon slug that took 12, But that was not a option on the form so they ticked Chef"

Look I'm a Officer so I get to stand on the rock. You don't have a problem with that? do you Private

Sorry Sir this is the slops line, if you want Tea in your cup that queue is over there. Your patronage IS important to us

Officer, Please can I have some more
Private in Brian Blessed voice. "YOU WANT MORE!!"

"NO SHIRT NO SERVICE!"

"I think you'll find the boot's on the other foot, Sir."

“I will not ‘ave armpits in my jungle!”