"Just blame a gremlin and NFF it - the pub opens in an hour".

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....2dab98cc79.gif

Officer under the nose.... no I don't think letting them know we found the fuel cut off switch had tripped would improve their mood after 6 hours troubleshooting

What do you mean the fault is on D Digger? Why are we working on N N......?
Bloody typo again in the office
Bloody Predictive Textiles

Hurry up Chiefy we must have 'City of Lincoln' ready for the 75th anniversary of VE Day. Don't want to be shown up by those Canadians again...

“When I was called up, I told them I was a Plumber, and I ended up here. FFS, I do drains and taps and toilets, not this greasy outdoor stuff.”

When I was called up I told them I was a Gynecologist, here I am fiddling around in confined spaces unable to see where I am going.

“What’s this Social Distancing crap anyway, Fred?”
”Ah, it’s just a trick to keep us from getting on top of WAAFs.”

I learnt this trick when I used to poach his Lordships trout, if I reach down and tickle it’s belly, it should turn over..

“When I was called up, I told them I was a Pilot, and I ended up here. They didn't believe me as they didn't think anyone would own up to that.”

Right that's a fault introduced so deep not even Chiefy could find it. So looks like we won't be going on this suicide mission....

Chief Engineer was heard to mutter

" Mair speed, Mair Speed he wants, when will he learn ye canna change the laws of physics".
or
"if he comes doon here once mair, I'll shove the exhaust nacelle up his Captains Chair
or
" Ma poor wee beasties, ah promise you some nice fresh Dlithium at yere next overhaul

Skipper was heard to say, "Scotties really lost it this time..."

Chap on the spinner. For **** sake I was meant to retire on the 4th September 1939.
if only my mum had let my dad have his wicked way with her two days earlier...I could have joined the Home Guard...

How much longer out here? I'm freezing me knackers off
Don't worry Surplus is on nights so should put us out of our misery soon

“In view of the bloody hours we spend doing this stuff, you would think Avro or RR might have provided proper seats.“

" Ummmm...those pipes you are standing on....are they supposed to be bent like that?"

So much for social distancing....

- Ed

It's no good chaps, the Warranty expired yesterday. You'll have to fix it.

"No, that's another oval one. Chiefy says he wants to get a round tuit to work on this engine."

One Haynes Manual for the whole squadron, and bloody 617 borrowed it. Looks like this one's here for the duration.

How can it be the same engine, it's had 24 new Pistons 3 new crankshafts and 2 new blocks Trigger ?

Now I know why they called him Merlin the Magician, because where ever I move I still feel like I have his wand sticking up my ass.

Psst Kiltrash, Busters arrived to try and overhear our captions...
Don't worry MPN. he's crap at these things, ask Hydromet, he'll tell ya..

That's it, clip the thrungbucket onto the wigglepump and the jobs a good un.

Nope still none, pop down stores and see if they have a longer dipstick?

I only popped into Kwik fit for a free brake check and they advised I need a oil and plug service. Nice chaps these . ( other rip off garage services are available)

Damm Hoskins filled up with Diesel again. Look at the state of these filters. ....

Damm Rosie the riveter put the cowling on with rivets so they don't work loose in flight, however just gives us maintainers issue each time. Bloody management thought it was a good idea.....

I'd love to call it, but I think I'd better leave it to the current CapCom poster Traffic_Is_Er_Was.

I've spent ten hours off the ground up here - I think I'll add it to my pilot's log book.

Oops
What do you mean oops?
Well you know they say worse things happen at sea? Well I hope that Sharkey is having a bad day..

“Oh, look what I’ve found here! Kiltrash’s copy of ‘Music Hall Jokes’.”

”So that was what was blocking the spam filter? She’s S, Chiefy!!”

Oh look Bill ( Oddie) a lesser spotted throat warbler, and so a lifetime as a twitcher was born

Look Chiefy a nesting sparrow Sorry this birds grounded

It's not a Sparrow, it's a Sidewinder. Jeez, armourers.

“After all this work, is sad to think they’ll be obsolete soon after this War is over.”

”Yeah, obsolete ... like this CapCom, innit!”

That's good, the Sparrows have fledged, so button her up and release for tonight's mission.

That's about it done to death. Good entries all round, but in homage to all those old maintenance jokes, the winner is Wensleydale with:
"Bl**dy Pilots. No 1 engine missing, 'e reports and blow me if its still 'ere"!
Once it's nuts are properly adjusted and signed off, the CST will on it's way to you!

Thanks TIEW. On the subject of broken aeroplanes....

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....ed6aae6540.jpg

NO, NO, NO!!!! Ditch....IN THE OCEAN!!!!!