"Alas, poor Yorick... I think his name was Yorick Hunt..."

They said we need to wear a mask

Hey Ukraine, my son says thanks for all the cash, give him more and we will start the war you want.

I get Melania to wear it for...never mind what for, it's mine okay!

"Jeeezzz, thats an ugly mask...who is it?"

At last, the head containing the brain is found!

This is how I'll vote twice. Up yours Pelosi!

"I can make America grate again - starting at the top!"

"He has an honest face - he gets my vote."
"He has an honest face - he gets my vote."
"How many votes do I actually need?"

So I said to Melanie who do you see when I make love to you and she said only you.... I then found this in her bedside table.

I have a surprise for the wife tonight, she asked me last night that in future she wanted me to wear a rubber.

We caught some Mexican trying to cross the border wearing it but he was soon apprehended, understandable so as it looks nothing like Ted Danson.

Time to put the President out of his misery, he is/ was not as popular as he thinks he is..
Wins first place for Ascend...

Please take control of the Trophy
K

Yup..............

(Bowing graciously) Thank you for the trophy, I am (as the Caneedians say) "oat and a boat" so feel free to post for me, thengk you.

Caption waiting for picture...

Canada, a offshoot of Newcastle. ...well I never.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....0b829fb552.jpg
OK, back home, have a shot at this

Hoskins was less than impressed with the “Emergency Procedures For Lack Of Chocks”

The RAF found that filling aircraft tyres with nitrous oxide to improve braking efficiency often led to abuse.....

Hoskins heard the crew talking about practising a let down so he though he'd assist...

Good for a laugh, though.

OR: Not a good place for a lie-down, even if you are tired.

When Dorothy's Hercules landed in Oz, the Wicked Witch of the East wasn't wearing ruby slippers, so they couldn't get back to Kansas.

In an effort to slow down Lewis. F1 Bosses instigate a Mercedes Only tyre change procedure

After Paris, Air France look to a more robust tyre for Concorde. Find a suitable on the fuel truck....not....

No fault found. If the plane didn't roll properly along the runway I recommend resurfacing.

Highways Agency were aghast and closed the M25 for 6 hours for recovery. Never had a quicker journey home from the golf said Kiltrash...

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....0b829fb552.jpg

At my last airfield we had a bloody foot pump...

Things that are hard to do....ar'nt worth doing

Normally we have 3 flat tyres on a 18 wheeler before we change them Hoskins

This is not a flat tyre to the Icelanders

How many Condoms do you get from a rubber tyre? 365 if it's a Goodyear...boom boom.

Constable off-camera: “Just blow in the tube, Sir ... keep blowing ... keep blowing ...”

"Since when have we had speed humps on the taxiway Frank?"

"BOOM! GOT HIM!!!! That's my first Michelin Star for the year!"

I told you he had caltrops in his pockets.

Owing to global warming Santa has to fit tyres to the Sleigh. However find the Gremlins have been at them since last used

While the driver sorted out the flat on his brand new tyre on the left he did not notice the Scousers siphoning out the fuel on the right.

With a faulty jack the AA man had to resort to a bench press to lift the tyre off the ground