Treacherous fishhead berates F-ing crabs
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Treacherous fishhead berates F-ing crabs
I was flicking through the latest GQ mag in the crewroom and spotted a feature on the senior service and FAA. Sharkey's boy 'Mental' Ward and a chum were interviewed and weren't too
complimentary about the superior service (RAF obviously).
I can only assume that these jocks haven't done the media course and are in line for a bit of a b*ll*cking, because they came across very badly and reflect poorly in the RN. Almost every other word began with F and they came across as neo Top Gun macho prats. I guess all this was 'off the record' or 4 hrs into a wardroom sesh.
Of particular interest was the line: 'I would trust the f***ing crabs as far as I could throw them. Since 1945 they've only shot down 2 ac and they were both British' etc etc.
I am confident that this is bull (although I know of the friendly fire missile in the air incident). Korea springs to mind. Anyone care to share the true figures.
complimentary about the superior service (RAF obviously).
I can only assume that these jocks haven't done the media course and are in line for a bit of a b*ll*cking, because they came across very badly and reflect poorly in the RN. Almost every other word began with F and they came across as neo Top Gun macho prats. I guess all this was 'off the record' or 4 hrs into a wardroom sesh.
Of particular interest was the line: 'I would trust the f***ing crabs as far as I could throw them. Since 1945 they've only shot down 2 ac and they were both British' etc etc.
I am confident that this is bull (although I know of the friendly fire missile in the air incident). Korea springs to mind. Anyone care to share the true figures.
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Max
Doubtless you found GQ (along with The Sun, Loaded and Viz) in the light reading section of the crewroom. I doubt many will regard the comments of a couple of FAA pilots in a (albeit upmarket) lads' mag with too much gravity. Besides, after 'HMS Brilliant', has the RN got any dirty washing left to do in public? Do also bear in mind the remarkable abilty of the media to publish interviews that even the subjects often have difficulty recognising.
Doubtless you found GQ (along with The Sun, Loaded and Viz) in the light reading section of the crewroom. I doubt many will regard the comments of a couple of FAA pilots in a (albeit upmarket) lads' mag with too much gravity. Besides, after 'HMS Brilliant', has the RN got any dirty washing left to do in public? Do also bear in mind the remarkable abilty of the media to publish interviews that even the subjects often have difficulty recognising.
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Or is your real gripe that a filthy old FA2 squadron with only 6 little subsonic puff jets managed to get an article about them in GQ magazine, and the mighty light blue didnt.
In the Navy we call the kind off stuff he was going on about as "banter" mate. Learn how to banter back instead of whinging.
At the moment as we used to say on the squadron, your post is
"IRRELEVANT".
In the Navy we call the kind off stuff he was going on about as "banter" mate. Learn how to banter back instead of whinging.
At the moment as we used to say on the squadron, your post is
"IRRELEVANT".
...and I thought that he was flogging cars on TV adverts these days. Maybe that was just a lookalike.
'Geriatric' 's comments probably reflect his time during the Malvinas conflict 20 years ago when his SHAR FRS1 mob did a good job of knocking down the odd Argie cab or two. With the help of not an inconsiderable number of 'crabs' it has to be said. And the odd GR3 - it wasn't just a Navy war!
No doubt had there been a useable aerodrome capable of taking F4s or Lightnings, the 'crabs' would have done as good a job, if not better.
Never trust anyone with face-fungus. Particularly when it's irritated by crabs?
'Geriatric' 's comments probably reflect his time during the Malvinas conflict 20 years ago when his SHAR FRS1 mob did a good job of knocking down the odd Argie cab or two. With the help of not an inconsiderable number of 'crabs' it has to be said. And the odd GR3 - it wasn't just a Navy war!
No doubt had there been a useable aerodrome capable of taking F4s or Lightnings, the 'crabs' would have done as good a job, if not better.
Never trust anyone with face-fungus. Particularly when it's irritated by crabs?
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Amber Banter Caption
OK fair one about the banter, but we give as good as we get in the purple farces.
The real point of the post is the question at the end. I don't know where to find the information, and we weren't taught it in OS at IOT.
Does anyone know the tally of postwar RAF air to air kills?
The real point of the post is the question at the end. I don't know where to find the information, and we weren't taught it in OS at IOT.
Does anyone know the tally of postwar RAF air to air kills?
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Think me mate Mental and his old man Sharkey have a point. You should read his book, it puts these comments into perspective. I'm sure these comments wouldn't have been published (in the book) if they weren't checked out, due to libel charges etc....
If you find it offensive, I'm sure they'll be grinning even harder.
Fg Off M/S: as stated before, it's BANTER, me old. Sometimes, however, it can touch the odd raw nerve. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
P.S. Looking forward to reading GQ, when I get back form my sandy pit.
P.P.S. BEagle: "Geriatric" - Pot calling kettle......?
If you find it offensive, I'm sure they'll be grinning even harder.
Fg Off M/S: as stated before, it's BANTER, me old. Sometimes, however, it can touch the odd raw nerve. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
P.S. Looking forward to reading GQ, when I get back form my sandy pit.
P.P.S. BEagle: "Geriatric" - Pot calling kettle......?
Last edited by Farfrompuken; 17th Nov 2002 at 14:43.
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The bottom line; be veeeeeeery careful when talking to any member of the media, whether on the record or off. Especialy with light harted banter and thow away comments.
You can control what they see or hear, but you can't control how it is edited.
You can control what they see or hear, but you can't control how it is edited.
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Unfortunately the RAF were not directly involved in Korea, although a number of RAF pilots were on exchange with USAF and RAAF units (F86, F84 and Meteor, I believe).
At Suez the Wiley Oriental Gentlemen withdrew most of their aircraft that were serviceable out of range of the carriers and RAF aircraft based on Cyprus and Malta. I do not know who scored the highest number of EAF kills on the ground. But in any contest over which service has the most "friendly fire" kills since WW2, I will open the bidding with the FAA Wyvern strike on a mosque during the Suez operation, which wiped out the best part of a platoon of RM. A Command/Control cock-up, I believe, not the fault of the pilots. My source? A RM MO who turned up at my girlfriend's London flat to shag her flatmate, immediately after the "endex". He was a very angry doc and very anti-pilots until we shared a few beers and he calmed down.
At Suez the Wiley Oriental Gentlemen withdrew most of their aircraft that were serviceable out of range of the carriers and RAF aircraft based on Cyprus and Malta. I do not know who scored the highest number of EAF kills on the ground. But in any contest over which service has the most "friendly fire" kills since WW2, I will open the bidding with the FAA Wyvern strike on a mosque during the Suez operation, which wiped out the best part of a platoon of RM. A Command/Control cock-up, I believe, not the fault of the pilots. My source? A RM MO who turned up at my girlfriend's London flat to shag her flatmate, immediately after the "endex". He was a very angry doc and very anti-pilots until we shared a few beers and he calmed down.
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Disgusted
As a former Fleet air Arm Officer and Pilot who has flown with Mental Ward, I am disgusted by your comments.
IT IS TRUE THAT THE RAF HAVN'T SHOT DOWN ANY ENEMY AIRCRAFT SINCE WWII!
RAF Officers are only seen as half an officer by the other two Services, as they only do six months of Officer training, as opposed to ONE YEAR by Naval and Army Officers.
If there are three officers of equal rank from the Navy, Army and Air Force with the same Seniority Date, then the Naval Officer will be the Most Senior, followed by the Army Officer then the Air Force Officer.
If the RAF were any good they would of been able to shoot down at least ONE plane during the Gulf War.
But they didn't.
So stop coming out with pathetic excuses.
One of my favorite lines at Cranwell was, 'Make way at the bar Senior Service coming through!'
IT IS TRUE THAT THE RAF HAVN'T SHOT DOWN ANY ENEMY AIRCRAFT SINCE WWII!
RAF Officers are only seen as half an officer by the other two Services, as they only do six months of Officer training, as opposed to ONE YEAR by Naval and Army Officers.
If there are three officers of equal rank from the Navy, Army and Air Force with the same Seniority Date, then the Naval Officer will be the Most Senior, followed by the Army Officer then the Air Force Officer.
If the RAF were any good they would of been able to shoot down at least ONE plane during the Gulf War.
But they didn't.
So stop coming out with pathetic excuses.
One of my favorite lines at Cranwell was, 'Make way at the bar Senior Service coming through!'
Last edited by Colonel W E Kurtz; 17th Nov 2002 at 21:25.
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Colonel, it's also true that 'mental' was in the RAF originally, but they wouldn't send him Fast Jets so he had a wibble then joined the RN. Personally, I would have done the same but it's rather sad for someone in the FAA front-line to start sla@@ing the Royal Air Force off when thats what they seemed to want to be in foremostly!
As for the pi$$ing competition concerning who's shot down what; I do believe thats awesome F3 banter and should continue to be exploited on Fri nights! However, we also precision bomb, support the British Army, do the whole Air Transport thing, tank your ageing FA2's etc etc. Need I say more, we are a little more wide-eyed than the fishy-heads that you are affectionately referred to as!
Rant over....
As for the pi$$ing competition concerning who's shot down what; I do believe thats awesome F3 banter and should continue to be exploited on Fri nights! However, we also precision bomb, support the British Army, do the whole Air Transport thing, tank your ageing FA2's etc etc. Need I say more, we are a little more wide-eyed than the fishy-heads that you are affectionately referred to as!
Rant over....
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I started my flying career with the RAF as an Officer Cadet in a UAS flying Bulldogs.
I was able to do attachments to a Tornado Station, Nimrod Station, RAF Germany, St Mawgan to name a few.
Once I had made a full and thorough assesment of what a joke the RAF was I went for the Fleet Air Arm.
As for the Navy being narrow based,
1. The SHAR can deliver Laser Guided Bombs for precision bombing.
2. Commando Helicopters that support the Royal Marines AND the British Army.
3. The Navy also has things called ships that travel arround the world (when they're not hitting rocks), that delver stores and supplies that can and have shot down planes and missiles. (Falklands/Gulf)
4. Submarines that fire cruise missiles.
5. The Royal Marines
6. Airborne early warning helicopters
7. Anti Tank attack helicopters (Lynx Mk7)
To name a few.
Like your comments about the F3 even if my mate flies one!
If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined one!
I was able to do attachments to a Tornado Station, Nimrod Station, RAF Germany, St Mawgan to name a few.
Once I had made a full and thorough assesment of what a joke the RAF was I went for the Fleet Air Arm.
As for the Navy being narrow based,
1. The SHAR can deliver Laser Guided Bombs for precision bombing.
2. Commando Helicopters that support the Royal Marines AND the British Army.
3. The Navy also has things called ships that travel arround the world (when they're not hitting rocks), that delver stores and supplies that can and have shot down planes and missiles. (Falklands/Gulf)
4. Submarines that fire cruise missiles.
5. The Royal Marines
6. Airborne early warning helicopters
7. Anti Tank attack helicopters (Lynx Mk7)
To name a few.
Like your comments about the F3 even if my mate flies one!
If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined one!
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pretty irrelevant as to who shot down what - who in the great big scheme of things gives a fat pigs ARRRSE.
Have to say that if this young chap is the product of 12 months Officer training, surely there is an argument to making dartmouth 18 - 24 months long. This kind of spleen venting is best left to fri nights or the crewroom not semi - popular national publications. Totally agree, before anyone starts, that he has obvious right to his own opinion, but joe public will view the comments in the chaps capacity as representative of the RN.
What next? OC 111 sqn telling the sport about how the navy are all "bum bandits"? think not somehow.
time and place etc.
Have to say that if this young chap is the product of 12 months Officer training, surely there is an argument to making dartmouth 18 - 24 months long. This kind of spleen venting is best left to fri nights or the crewroom not semi - popular national publications. Totally agree, before anyone starts, that he has obvious right to his own opinion, but joe public will view the comments in the chaps capacity as representative of the RN.
What next? OC 111 sqn telling the sport about how the navy are all "bum bandits"? think not somehow.
time and place etc.
COLONEL W E KURTZ
Points to ponder...
Maybe the Army do a whole year at Sandpit to try to correct some of the inbreeding amongst the upper classes, who knows...
Or maybe we don't need a whole 12 months to learn to march and develop ourselves as officers?
I take it the highly effective jungly force were just a bit too busy to support your RM in Afghanistan recently? Where all the airwork was done by wokka's. Methinks the Sea Queen doesn't have the performance and should be replaced by half the number of CH47s.
Read Barndoors' comments again, very astute.
And incidentally, whenever the 'Senior Service' tried to banter at CHOM, we just remarked on the irony of having the impressive HMS Daedelus as OUR College.
Maybe the Army do a whole year at Sandpit to try to correct some of the inbreeding amongst the upper classes, who knows...
Or maybe we don't need a whole 12 months to learn to march and develop ourselves as officers?
I take it the highly effective jungly force were just a bit too busy to support your RM in Afghanistan recently? Where all the airwork was done by wokka's. Methinks the Sea Queen doesn't have the performance and should be replaced by half the number of CH47s.
Read Barndoors' comments again, very astute.
And incidentally, whenever the 'Senior Service' tried to banter at CHOM, we just remarked on the irony of having the impressive HMS Daedelus as OUR College.
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Cheeky chaps,
It's all irrelevant really.
Doesn't matter which of the three services you look at, or whatever specialisation within; you/they/we all do a funky job, with cr@p kit, and less than acceptable funding/backup from our sponsors.
There are some aspects that are obsolete nowadays, but I'm not going to point you out, 'cos:
a) don't want to start a sh!tfight
b) it's not your fault if you get posted there, and it doesn't make you a bad person!
c) you know who you are
You've got to question your own role in the big wheel from time to time. Sometimes the answer isn't what you thought it should be.
I think I'll head off before I get all deep and meaningful, It's been too long in this alcohol-free prison
It's all irrelevant really.
Doesn't matter which of the three services you look at, or whatever specialisation within; you/they/we all do a funky job, with cr@p kit, and less than acceptable funding/backup from our sponsors.
There are some aspects that are obsolete nowadays, but I'm not going to point you out, 'cos:
a) don't want to start a sh!tfight
b) it's not your fault if you get posted there, and it doesn't make you a bad person!
c) you know who you are
You've got to question your own role in the big wheel from time to time. Sometimes the answer isn't what you thought it should be.
I think I'll head off before I get all deep and meaningful, It's been too long in this alcohol-free prison
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If the RAF produce such great Officers howcome they havn't produced a Chief of Defence Staff for nearly ten years? (Last Harding in 93)
Pretty Irrelevant as to who shot down what? As the RAF hasn't shot down anything I'd say that makes them pretty irrelevant.
I wondered how long it would be before the bum bandits comments started. When I joined the Navy it was illegal to be homosexual in the armed forces. In these more progressive times I am glad to see there are a few transexuals currently flying for the Royal Air Farce.
As for the Sea Queen I was refering to Northern Ireland, although I would have to agree it is a knackerd old helicopter.
Isn't banter great!
Pretty Irrelevant as to who shot down what? As the RAF hasn't shot down anything I'd say that makes them pretty irrelevant.
I wondered how long it would be before the bum bandits comments started. When I joined the Navy it was illegal to be homosexual in the armed forces. In these more progressive times I am glad to see there are a few transexuals currently flying for the Royal Air Farce.
As for the Sea Queen I was refering to Northern Ireland, although I would have to agree it is a knackerd old helicopter.
Isn't banter great!
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Colonel,
Few weeks back my wife and I were talking about the state of the armed forces.
"Half the navy is b@ggered" she states.
Seems to be a very accurate assessment of what naval command thought, too!!!
Few weeks back my wife and I were talking about the state of the armed forces.
"Half the navy is b@ggered" she states.
Seems to be a very accurate assessment of what naval command thought, too!!!
"Make way at the bar Senior Service coming through"
"Make way at the window Senior Service coming through"
"D'you think next time we should open it?"
Reminds me of a Tiger Meet at Upper H where all the Tiger Squadrons flew there even though it was 8/8 fog. Apart from the mighty Navy who drove and got windowed for it.
I have to say that the RAF's air to air record post WW2 is pretty pants as is our ground attack. Then again the Navy seem to be mastering the art of attacking lumps of ground....
"Make way at the window Senior Service coming through"
"D'you think next time we should open it?"
Reminds me of a Tiger Meet at Upper H where all the Tiger Squadrons flew there even though it was 8/8 fog. Apart from the mighty Navy who drove and got windowed for it.
I have to say that the RAF's air to air record post WW2 is pretty pants as is our ground attack. Then again the Navy seem to be mastering the art of attacking lumps of ground....
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Talking cr@p kit:
The museum piece known at the Vickers VC10, due to extract me from my sandy prison, is delayed yet again.
You got to hand it to 'em, they're on schedule one-third of the time!
It costs more to keep these jokes on the ground (let's face it, they rarely fly anymore) than it would to buy a new fleet!!
With service like this, no wonder the Air Force is the subject of so much ridicule amongst its 'customers'.
The museum piece known at the Vickers VC10, due to extract me from my sandy prison, is delayed yet again.
You got to hand it to 'em, they're on schedule one-third of the time!
It costs more to keep these jokes on the ground (let's face it, they rarely fly anymore) than it would to buy a new fleet!!
With service like this, no wonder the Air Force is the subject of so much ridicule amongst its 'customers'.