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Treacherous fishhead berates F-ing crabs

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Treacherous fishhead berates F-ing crabs

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Old 19th Nov 2002, 22:30
  #61 (permalink)  
 
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What a childish and undignified squabble this has become. I truly wonder if any of you, who are claiming how much better your service is than the other, because some of your pilots got kills in this war or that, have ever flown a fighter or fast jet. Most of you appear to have no concept of what it entails to fly and fight, your posts (in general) are an insult to those who have fought and killed or died for their country (not their service).
Mr Ward ('Mental' as he is known; must have been a very zany night in the wardroom for him to get this amusing and outrageous nickname; how the long winter evenings must fly by), would do well to consider his position and the many responsibilities that he has as an officer and a fighter-pilot. One of these responsibilities is 'Leadership', I know that this is an old fashioned word in todays PC Officer Corps (in all 3 services), but nonetheless I believe that it is relevent. Mr Ward with his childish and downright rude insults demeans himself and his service and leaves me feeling personally let down by the Senior service with whom I have worked on numerous occasions, in peace and on ops. I can guarantee that I have flown more operational missions and used my weapons 'in anger' far more than both Ward Snr and Junior put together (I am sure that the spotters amongst you would howl at this affront, but nevertheless, it is true). Have I shot anyone down? No. Is my contribution pathetic, as the Ward's would have you believe, I don't think so.
Those of you idiots espousing this as banter would do well to remember that there are friends and colleagues of ours out there still getting shot at most days in several different foreign lands, most of them are RAF. They are doing a dangerous job for their country, not their service!

Col K, Farfrompuke etc, I don't know where you boys did, or are doing your service, but where I come from this is not banter. Having a laugh in the mess/wardroom at the expense of the other service, over a few beers, game of mess rugby, throwing food at the guest crabs (myself included) at a Taranto night dinner. This is good natured fun and banter.
You guys on the other hand, are d1ckheads, this is not banter, this is an insult.
For Mr Ward to say those things in the mess is one thing and I will laugh along with him. For him to publish those thoughts as fact in a national mens magazine is a disgrace. Yes, I am sure that much of the public can see through his pathetic posturing, but what was the purpose of it? What use did it serve? I am surprised that he did not get his d1ck out so that we can all see how big he is. It was a pretty over the top stunt for pure 'Banter' or perhaps that is why he is called 'Mental'. I would also like to ask Mr Ward Jr to get some **ckin' time in. I'm not sure that if my dad was a well known war hero it would give me the kind of credibility that this young first tourist gives himself. Those of you that say lighten up, well fine, thats up to you. But this isn't a light hearted subject.
I am looking forward to seeing Mr Ward Jr at the next op phase or nitex. I am sure that we can have some 'banter' in the bar.

Finally, WEBF, words fail me. And I mean that not as Banter, but as a statement of fact.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 01:17
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Jungle Jim,

The fact that this thread began because Ward chose to lay into the RAF on the basis of its air-to-air combat record has ensured that it has been of dubious relevance to the real world.

My comments on standards perhaps weren't witty enough to be banter, but were aimed at someone who was eager to run down the crabs who didn't himself seem to be of terribly 'high calibre'. Taunts about his not being good enough to be a crab, though stated more generalistically, were meant primarily personally.

I would reiterate that I have huge respect for anyone, in any service, who has the honour and balls to do the job and to put their lives on the line for the defence of us all. And since my military experience is limited to a UAS, who am I to run down anyone who's done the 'real deal'.

Desperado's point is very well made.

In a pathetic attempt to cheer you both up, may I repeat an observation that one very experienced (fighter) pilot made to me?

"Fighters may be fun, but bombers are important. And while we put them down with harsh banter, those who fly heavies and rotary are often the real war winners."
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 06:09
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The existences of the Army (raised as a series of different regiments by colonels - historically, many of these were not loyal to the Government) and the Royal Air Force are legally based on the Army and Air Force Acts of 1955 and previous Parliamentary Acts; their continued existence depends on annual Continuation Orders passed by Parliament.

On enlistment, the Acts require members of the Army, Air Force and Royal Marines (who operate ashore under the Army Act) to take an oath of allegiance to the monarch as Head of the Armed Forces (those for whom it is against their religion to take oaths and those who are of no religion, affirm instead of swearing an oath).

The Royal Navy was formed hundreds of years ago, and its existence stems from the sovereign's prerogative - members of the Navy have never therefore been required to take the oath. The oath of allegiance is sworn to the monarch, rather than to Parliament, which might be confused with the political party in power at the time.




-- From http://www.royal.gov.uk/output/page342.asp

--So we see that the RAF cannot be trusted and have to swear an oath of allegiance, unlike the RN who's existence stems from Royal Perogative
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 07:01
  #64 (permalink)  
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Out of curiosity, what were the kill ratios of the various services during WWII; and is it possible, as some have suggested, that the ratios since have been affected by opportunity and deterrence?
Also, if opportunity has been a factor, will it have an ongoing effect on ratios achieved in any future stoush in this post-war FJ world, or has this possibility been negated by exercises and inter-service exchanges?
Happen chance we may see more opportunity quite soon; probably not in the coming scrap but certainly in the one after it. That being the case I for one don't give a damn what shade of blue is being worn by the guys putting their necks on the line for my sake; I simply thank them and wish them luck and put my faith in their courage and professionalism.

A flag, a salute, a lump in the throat, and a glass, raised to you all, Gentlemen.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 08:43
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Non Aircrew on this board

AlltrimDoubt

Actually, I would encourage non aircrew to use this forum. It should awaken them as to some of the real issues that affect the flying community. To tell them to stay away merely enlarges the un-necessary "them and us" divide that causes half the problems in the first place
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 11:56
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Boring!
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 12:29
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Perhaps Ward's nickname reflects the provenance of the nurses he chatted up at a particular event. As a Jolly Jack perhaps he was drawn to a burly, bearded and strait-jacket wielding nurse?

I wonder which of his Squadron mates has the nickname 'A&E Ward' and my sympathy really goes out to 'GUI Clinic'....

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Old 20th Nov 2002, 12:33
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Sir P W-A

Ref the inclusion of non-aircrew I do largely agree, but afraid my post was aimed directly at the individual whose previous (and persistant) postings in the past have been second only to Admin Guru in raising the hackles of the brethren!
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 12:57
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Naval Officers pass out with their own swords and stiff (detachable) collars.


RAF Officers pass out negative swords wearing gay gloves.

I am not a rotary wing pilot although if I was I would be pretty upset about Mr. Jackinocko's post if I were a rotrary pilot in any of Her Majesty's Armed Forces.

Quote

"Yes, yes dear. You're much better than any of those nasty crabs. I can just see why you didn't deign to go to OASC after your UAS. Were you VR? Did you get a third year? Thought not. And now you're rotary, not FJ? You're proving the point about standards, dear boy. "


End Quote


I was sadly a bit too quick at school and ended up starting university at 17. in my first year at University I was told I was too young and having been brought up in the colonies I should wait until my next year to apply to UAS.

As a result a 3rd year was not an option or me, although it is not an option anyway unless you apply to join the RAF which I never had any intention of doing anyway.

I would say that Mr Jackinoko deserves the sort of posts he gets.

Last edited by Colonel W E Kurtz; 20th Nov 2002 at 13:17.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 13:11
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I am quite curious to know what the experience of the (obviously RAF) gentleman that wrote: 'my frontline/combat experience is greater than Ward Snr's and Jnr's put together, if he would be kind enough to share it with us.

Anyway I guess F/O Max missed something in the article:

The phrase 'I wouldn't trust the f***ing crabs...' was said by LT Paul Tremeling a Sqn mate of Mental Ward but NOT by Ward himself..........

All Ward said was: 'Did you know how many a/c the crabs shot since '45?' IMO not a very insulting statement.

Talking about RAF post war air-to-air kills apart from the blue-on-blue they got kills as exchange pilots in Korea. I counted 7 kills of Mig-15s from my F-86 kill list. Strangely, I couldn't find F/L John Nicholls' second Mig kill but the scoring pilots in any case were:
Hulse:3
Nicholls:1
Dickinson:1
Lovell:1
Granville-White:1

I haven't (yet) heard of the case of RAF officer Baldwin lost to a Mig-15, but sadly, I'm pretty sure that George Hulse was listed as a Mig-15 loss, POW.

So, in total there are 7-8 confirmed kills with 1-2 losses (plus two F-86s lost in non-combat accidents).

In 1956 during the Suez campaign the RN FAA wiped out the EAF on the ground (with the aid of the French Aeronavale). I believe total EAF a/c losses on the ground were near 250.

Again of course there were RAF exchange pilots who scored some ground targets (as I was reminded by F/L Ian Black that his father George for example was on board oneof the carriers in Suez and scored quite a few ground kills).

Last: Falklands.

RAF kills:
F/L David Morgan: 3 (later retired as a RN LT CDR)
F/L Paul Barton: 1
F/L Bertie Penfold: 1
F/L John Leeming:1

Total air-to-air kills: 23. RAF exchange contribution: 6.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 13:20
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WEBF, Royal Naval Reserve = RNR = Really Not Required

You Wavy Navy Weirdo!!!!!

Last edited by Colonel W E Kurtz; 21st Nov 2002 at 01:26.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 14:48
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Its a fair cop Colonel. I plead guilty. I plead incompetence and poor preparation as mitigation.

You forgot to mention WEBF = Village Idiot
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 15:13
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I'm afraid all this banter boils down to looks. If you want to look like a National Express coach driver join the RAF. If you want to look like Tom Cruise join the Fleet Air Arm. Case rested.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 15:46
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So let me get this right....... If you look like "stumpy Mc fu@@ing stump", crash every mechanical thingy you ever drove/flew etc, have a propensity to kill everyone one around you, both friends and enemy alike - poor old goose, and have a complete inability to hold onto any of the good looking chicks you pull, unless of course they are bearded .............you join the Fleet of feet

remove "skr" and insert further "t" young man ......... then I believe it's your turn in the barrel

all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced

Last edited by Always_broken_in_wilts; 20th Nov 2002 at 16:20.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 16:45
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Since your F-86 kill list omits Babst, Higson and Daniel, fails to credit Nicholls with two and fails to record the loss of Baldwin, I'd venture to suggest that it perhaps isn't all that it should be.

My understanding is that Hulse's POW escapade resulted from a tech failure, and not combat, while Baldwin fell to ground fire.

Your list of Falklands kills gives the RAF pilots one quarter of the kills claimed (6 of 23). I haven't dug deep to see which service scored the three probables in this total, so in the worst case scenario it may be that RAF pilots accounted for only three of the 20 confirmed kills, or (best case) for six of the 20.

If they accounted for just over one quarter of the tally, it's intriguing to ask whether RAF aircrew accounted for one quarter of the Sea Harrier pilots deployed? One would expect a higher proportion of RAF pilots would be required to support this kind of proportion of the kill tally since the RAF pilots were on average considerably less experienced on type or in the air-to-air role. By definition none had completed more than one tour and some had not even completed conversion with 899.

Hardly 'Bus Drivers' whatever the case, and more importantly, not deserving of Ward or his colleague's evident scorn.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 17:12
  #76 (permalink)  
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ARWX, I did not have the mag in front of me when I wrote my post but I think, having today reread the article, what I wrote conveyed the point.

Ward who "Cannot f***ing wait to go sausage side", "Cannot f***ing wait", spoke with Tremeling, between flirting with Wrens, of their system of scoring women, something I suggest would be best saved for the wardroom or mess bar rather than national media.

Indeed Tremeling did say "I wouldn't trust the f***ing crabs as far as I could throw them". Ward: "Do you know how many a/c the crabs have shot down since 1945". "2 and they were both British". Read again my opening post and tell me if you think what I wrote was unreasonable or inaccurate.

Thanks to those who have given informative replies esp Jacko. To the rest, this wasn't intended to be a continuation of the bitch fight, and although I have nearly fallen off my chair laughing at some of the replies, I do think that this is best said behind closed doors. Refer to my 4 pillars of banter.

Kurtzy, with your tedious lists, random comments about detachable collars and factually incorrect post ('YES IT IS TRUE...'), I really think you need psychological help. To those who are neither military, nor pilots, although welcome, your comments will be valued according to your professional knowledge of military aviation. Space cadets, flt sim heroes and blaggers beware.

If I issue a press release stating that the f***ing fisheads and w**king WAFUs are all marmite mining below decks, it would be closer to the truth and in better spirit than the assertions originally made.

And yes I am an RAF pilot, yes rotary, no never an FJ pilot, yes got wings, no never seen the whites of their eyes, and yes am media qualified. CASE CLOSED.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 17:18
  #77 (permalink)  
 
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Jacko, exactly where do you get off having an opinion on this subject seeing as you are in neither service, and have flown c@ck all! You are basing your entire opinion on which blokes sound more convincing at the bar. And what self respecting pilot spends time chatting to a spotter. Because that is what you are. Dress it up as journalist if you will, but lets face it, you are essentially a spotter who gets paid.
Having passed both services entrance tests, I would say that both are equally w@nk and seem to let anybody through, as evidenced by the poor quality of banter from each side. At the end of the day, everyone knows that after 2 tours, just about everybody is average.
The only diference is that we are better dressed
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 17:35
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ARXW

You said: "I am quite curious to know what the experience of the (obviously RAF) gentleman that wrote: 'my frontline/combat experience is greater than Ward Snr's and Jnr's put together, if he would be kind enough to share it with us."(sic)

I'm sure Desperado can answer for himself but it would save time if you stuck to the rule "If I show you mine will you show me yours?".

You are, after all, asking him to break his cover.
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 17:47
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First off I'm not even a brit so I'm not interested in taking sides although If I had to, I'd say that the Navy is cooler... but then again this is just IMO...

Anyway, the gentlemen you mentioned Jacko, are not in the list of F-86 victories so I didn't include them...

Apparently Nicholls is credited with two elsewhere, although the list (unless I missed the secong kill) only includes one.

Hulse is indeed listed as a Mig victim.

I don't know if the list is wrong but it looks quite comprehensive and is taken from Warren Thompson's new book 'Mig Alley'...

Reg. the Falklands, there were no probables just 23 air to air kills (or 22 depending on if you count 1 helo as a ground kill or not).

The SHAR pilots from 800, 801 and 809 were 35. The RAF pilots were 8 I believe. Thus they made up less than a quarter of the aircrew and accounted for just over a quarter of the kills.

Funnily enough, after the Falklands, the focus of Naval Fighter Weapons and Tactics - the Air Warfare Instructor Course - became the responsibility primarily, I believe, of RAF exchange pilot F/L Ian Mortimer, who was also 'ably' assisted by F/L Dave Morgan...

Max,
No I don't think what you wrote was unreasonable - but since that one sentence fired up such a match with the blame falling squarely on Mental Ward, I thought this unfair since he didn't even make the comment himself! Although, yes, it was made by a FAA pilot nonetheless and the point came across anyway...

PS
Uncover my cover? Well I'm just a kid from Greece that's all!
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Old 20th Nov 2002, 18:02
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Jacko - thanx for your reply. I've done all I can with this thread, time to leave.

Those who have said that banter is dead are right if you view this thread as evidence of it. I think those of us who have been around a little longer in all 3 services would agree it is very much alive and well and residing in any Wardroom/Mess.

If you can't make it amusing without being offensive, don't bother.

Regards to all who wear Her Majesty's Wings - fly safe

JJ
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